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Category: Afterlife



I lost a cousin recently. He died of a drug overdose. I don’t think he meant for death to happen but it did and now his mother (my dear aunt) is grieving over the loss of yet another son. Though many people are grieving, it’s particularly sad that his only child must now go through life without the benefit of his loving dad (for my cousin did indeed love his son!).

As the family grieves, we are reminded of other losses we’ve suffered and we comfort each other with such words as “he’s with his brother now” and “his grandparents were surely there to greet him” and “what a loving guardian angel he will be”. All are true, I am sure, but it isn’t what we wanted. What we WANTED is him back in the body and walking among us. Until we learn to live with this major, devastating change, nothing will give comfort.

As for me, I’m trying to put it all into my own perspective, to remind myself that physical death, while a sad change for us, is really just a release of the soul from the body. It is NOT THE END. It’s a CHANGE. The essence of who we are in life remains with us in “death” and our return to spirit (for it is there from which we came) reunites us with loved ones already “there”.  I put parenthesis around “there” because the afterlife isn’t a “place” so much as a state of awareness.

So I attended my cousin’s “celebration of life” and I swear to you that I could clearly “see” them (my family members in spirit) and I knew they truly were rejoicing in his being among them (on the same level of awareness) once again. They were all smiling and happy and dancing to the music (it WAS a celebration of life after all) and the joy in their souls was genuine. Their regret, if they had any (for seriously, I don’t think there’s much in the way of “regret” over “there”), is our unawareness of their actual presence. Oh we were saying things like “He’s here with us, I feel him” but did we all truly understand how TRUE those sort of statements were? Though I cried and felt incredibly sad, it was for the grief going on around me and for the things I missed while he lived among us. His little brother shared stories that made us laugh and cry. He helped us become a bigger part of his big brother’s life and he gave us new memories to share in. Thanks for that, Ed, you were amazing!

I want to tell you something … our loved ones don’t “go away” and leave us with this big, gaping hole in our heart (that’s what it feels like, doesn’t it? Like a piece of our heart was ripped right out of our chest?). What they’ve done, what’s REALLY happened, is they have entered spirit, and through the bond of emotional attachment they bind themselves into that hole. So yeah, that hole you think is empty, it’s really filled with your loved one’s spiritual essence and you carry them wherever you go. True story. Our hearts, like the proverbial cups filled with love, truly does “runneth over”!

Our emotions are like beckoning beacons of light in the spirit world and when we are focused on a loved one there, they are instantly with us. Our FOCUS, you see, is energy in motion (true here in the physical world as it is in the spiritual one!) and it alerts them that we are in need of their comforting presence. Thoughts of loved ones are a direct “call” to them and they answer our summons EVERY TIME. Here’s an analogy you might like: Their presence in our heart is like a cell phone with a direct link (and the signal is always four bars!) and no matter where we are or how many others are making the same call, they answer it with their loving, spiritual presence!

Now, I get asked about that last part from time to time. How can someone in spirit be with so many people at the same time, especially when some may be spread out all over the world? That’s an easy one. A simple answer. There is no such thing as “time” and “distance” (space) in the spirit world. There is only “here” and “now” and as such, my Nana (for instance) can be here with me in Maine and my cousin in Florida at the exact same time. Our emotional connection is never severed. Ever. Love is the glue that binds. No truer statement can be said! So when I’m thinking of her, no matter how many others may be thinking of her too, my “call” to her is instant and wham, here she is! In spirit, anything is possible! Anything.

Something I wish more people understood and believed is that those in the spirit world can cause effects in the physical world that are meant to let a loved one know they are around. For instance, a song that reminds you of a loved one in spirit can suddenly come on the radio, or you might see a flower they loved, or smell an aroma of something you associate with them. It could be something as abstract as a heart in a cloud or as simple as a  butterfly fluttering about you (they are often used as a way for those in spirit to be physically close to you!).

Although my grandparents crossed into spirit over 30 years ago, I miss them to this day and when I am thinking about them, I might see their name on a sign or a license plate, or a song will come on that I associate with them (Nana loved to sing and Grampy loved to dance!) or I’ll just get a very strong feeling (emotional connection!) that they are near. When those moments happen, I feel their spiritual hug. It doesn’t make me stop missing them, but I do enjoy those little reminders that they haven’t “gone” anywhere.

But even so, despite all that and KNOWING my loved ones (in spirit) are fine, I grieve when they cross over. Life isn’t the same when we lose the physical presence of someone we love and whose company we enjoyed. It isn’t the same. It’s different in so many ways and it’s a tough thing to adjust to. It was hard losing Grampy and I grieved deeply but we still had Nana and that helped. Then she crossed over three months later. I thought I would never stop crying. I couldn’t imagine ever being happy again. I did not want to live my life without them in it. Oh I knew I’d lose them someday (and I stressed over that a LOT as a child!) but I always prayed they’d live a long, long time. When I say that, I’m telling you that I literally prayed for this almost every night during prayers and if I forgot to pray for it the night before, I corrected it immediately the next day! Their dying when I was just 21 was a major shock to me. I felt betrayed. I mean, I PRAYED…every fricken night I prayed…and they left me at the young age of 21. Nana was still in her 60s and Grampy had just turned 72. That isn’t old. Not by today’s standards. So what the heck? WHY did they die so darn young?

So you see I am still not totally over it. I can still get worked up over my “loss” and yet they visit me all the time! I mean, they are right HERE in my heart and I have that direct link to their souls. I SEE them in my dreams and I get messages and feelings from them quite often and STILL I am upset that they aren’t here physically! We never stop grieving. Never. The tears may stop but the grief lives permanently within us and somehow we just go on living with it. As we should because there are other joys to celebrate in life and their “death” doesn’t diminish those other joys. I have three children, four step-kids and sixteen grandchildren to share my life with, not to mention the spouses of my kids, an amazing husband, my brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends and so on and so on!! I am VERY blessed. But I STILL miss my grandparents and I still cry over the physical loss of my nephew, my sister’s oldest son, who died from suicide. I cry for her and I cry for the things I didn’t do or say and for the emotional pain he was in before he decided he’d had enough and returned to spirit.

My cousin’s death brought my nephew’s right back into focus and then, of course, it brought my grandparents into focus as well. Our emotional connection with those we care for is NEVER severed and so we are just always and forever going to feel grief when we think of them. The longing for their physical presence will never stop. It just won’t. We live in a physical world and as such, physical presence means everything to us. Given that, I am trying to make their spiritual presence just as important and meaningful. Which is why I felt them (my other family members in spirit) and “saw” them clearly in my mind’s eye during my cousin’s celebration of life. I did feel comfort and I shared smiles and winks and special moments with them.

But I still wish they were here in the physical world. And that, folks, is how it is always going to be … until it’s our turn to cross into spirit and rejoin them “over there”.

Blessings to all of you. And spiritual hugs from all your loved ones! They will use whatever means possible to get through to you and I happily allowed them to use my fingers to write those words! (smile)

Until next time, onward to better things, upward to greatness and ever forward to a bright, loving future!

 

 

 

 

 

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I recently read the book DYING TO BE ME, MY JOURNEY FROM CANCER, TO NEAR DEATH, TO TRUE HEALING by Anita Moorjani (Dying To Be Me) and I just had to write a review and share it with you! As a brief overview of the story…Anita was suffering with cancer, stage 4, and her body was shutting down. She entered a deep coma and as doctors waited for her life to end, she was experiencing “the other side”.  When she regained consciousness (totally not expected), her cancer spontaneously healed and all her physical ailments improved. She is now a healthy and happy woman! She chose to come back, she says, and not stay “there” because she wanted to share her experience and their (Spirit’s) message with the world.

What I love about this story is that it is a documented case. Meaning there are actual FACTS backing up her story…as far as the cancer being present, her physical condition during her near-death experience and the spontaneous healing of her cancer.

I was inspired by the story for it had a wonderful, positive message. I was also excited to discover that some of the things Anita shared, mirrored sentiments that are expressed in my Tess Schafer-Medium series! I want to share with you a few of the things I got out of this book. I encourage anyone else who has read it to share their thoughts and what they got out of it as well! Or tell me what you think of this post!

One thing Anita learned was that “Religion is just a path for finding truth: Religion is not truth. It is just a path. And different people follow different paths.” I love this because it is something I can readily accept. There are so many religions and I used to wonder…which one is the “right” one? Her concept embraces them all and tells us that no matter the path we take (the religion we choose to follow) they all lead to God. (Yay!) How we learn the lessons we wish to learn is a personal journey for each of us. Even when it seems we are sharing the same path, it isn’t the EXACT same path. I find it quite comforting that we all will learn what we need to know…eventually.

Anita also states that “there was no other way of communicating in that realm other than through our emotions.” Wow! Not only does my character Tess Schafer state this quite often, but it is something I believe and have experienced myself! Communication with the spirit world is not always done with words. That’s why mediums have to navigate through their emotions very carefully. Their interpretation of the communication might not be how the recipient of the communication would interpret it.

Speaking of emotions, Anita says that “our feelings are actually what drive our physical reality.” Interesting! Another statement she made that gave me some peace of mind was that “Everything happens when we’re ready for it to happen.” This really makes a lot of sense because if we aren’t ready for something, then we aren’t going to understand it, or embrace it or learn from it. We can’t, because we aren’t ready! This is why I am always trying to “ready” myself by constantly seeking to learn new things.

Anita talks about connecting with her deceased friend Soni during her sojourn on “the other side” and says that “my essence merged with Soni’s and I became her. I understood that she was here, there, and everywhere. She was able to be in all places at all times for all her loved ones.” This was quite interesting to me because many people ask how it is possible for their loved one to respond to several people at the same time. If they were watching over one person, then it seems logical that they cannot be watching over another. Yet this shows that’s not the case. This is something I’ve always believed and I’m excited that her experience validates this belief for me.

Her experience with time was another issue that coincides with my beliefs and is also something my character Tess often refers to. Anita says “Time felt different in that realm, too, and I felt all moments at once. I was aware of everything that pertained to me–past, present, and future–simultaneously. I became conscious of what seemed to be simultaneous lives playing out.” Physicist have long laid claim to the concept that time…past, present, and future…happens simultaneously. This is where the concept of time travel comes from! How amazing that she came to understand this and experience it for herself. Also, she mentions her awareness of other lives! Since I am a strong believer in past lives and reincarnation, this resonated strongly with my own beliefs. So much so that I even wrote a novel based on this very concept titled No Matter What!

Another thing that struck Anita in a profound way was how she felt while “there”. In her spirit state she realized she was not who she always thought herself to be. She says “Here I am without my body, race, culture, religion, or beliefs…yet I continue to exist! Then what am I? Who am I? I certainly don’t feel reduced or smaller in any way. On the contrary, I haven’t ever been this huge, this powerful, or this all-encompassing. Wow, I’ve never, ever felt this way!

I loved that she realized her identity “here” in the earth plane is not who she is in the spirit plane! None of us are the same “over there” as we are here. In spirit we are loving entities and identify with no labels! Wouldn’t that be great if we could be like that here in our physical life? But we didn’t come here to be the same as we are “over there”. We came here to experience different identities and that is exactly what we are all doing. When we finally get to the point where we are the same “here” as “there” (when we cannot separate our identity in each realm) then there will be no need to come back (reincarnate).

Another point she learned from the experience is that one must “cultivate a deep love affair with yourself” and Anita believed it was a key element to her spontaneous healing! Once she figured it out that “to be me is to be love“, the lesson, she says, saved her life. The concept here, however, is that to love ones self means to love others as well for each of us are love. Being love, she says, “means being aware of the importance of nurturing my own soul, taking care of my own needs, and not putting myself last all the time.”

Another wonderful point she made is that we already have everything we need (for it lies within us) and that it’s accessible when we allow ourselves to open up to what is true within us. This piggybacks on the concept that all time (past, present, and future) exists at once. Since every possibility already exists, then whatever we desire (and not desire) has already come to pass. We just need to move through that reality and we do it through our belief in its existence! Our reality here, she believes, “is a playground of expression.” (what fun!) We are here (in physical life) to experience, explore and create. And guess what? The things we wish to obtain or attain to…is already ours to obtain or achieve! You just need to ALLOW it into your reality. That is done through belief and excitement!! Anita says that “everything I could ever want to happen in my life already exists in that infinite, nonphysical plane. My only task is to expand my earthly self enough to let it into this realm.” All you need to do is expand your consciousness to “allow universal energy to bring it into (your) reality”. Easy peasy, right?

What I particularly like is the idea that we contain “all the resources” that we “need to navigate through life” and that is because we are “One with Universal energy.” She further makes the claim that WE “are universal energy”! Each one of us, she says, “has this magnificent, magical life force coursing through every single cell”. How amazing is that? How awesome are we!!

The problem, of course, is that our busy lives and all the things we get caught up in “makes us forget that we’re connected to Universal energy and that we have these natural abilities”. When we start listening to and believing what others tell us, it turns us away from the knowledge of our own power. But, and I love this…”emotions are a doorway into the soul”. Wow. This is major. A big, freaking deal!! She says “our feelings about ourselves are actually the most important barometer for determining the condition of our lives!” Read that again. It’s worth it!

One thing that is important to understand is the concept of “being” and “doing”.  She explains it thusly: “Being doesn’t mean that we don’t do anything. It’s just that our actions stem from following our emotions and feelings while staying present in the moment. Doing, on the other hand, is future focused, with the mind creating a series of tasks that take us from here to there in order to achieve a particular outcome, regardless of our current emotional state.” One way to determine the difference is to identify your motivation…is it driven by fear or passion? If what you are doing is driven by passion then you are “being”. If what you are doing is driven by fear then you are “doing”.

A big point she brings up is that if we “stop judging ourselves, we’d automatically find less and less need to condemn others”. Wow. What’s that say for all the judgments going on in the world today? Speaking of the world, Anita says “The external world mirrors what we feel about ourselves.” If that’s so, and I believe it is, then our world is filled with people who are filled with fear! Is it because of discontent with our personal lives? I believe so and so does Anita.

“The Universe is contained with us, and what we experience externally is only a reflection”. She believes that no one is truly bad, not at our “core” (soul) and evil, she says, “is only a product of our fears”.  If everyone was aware of their magnificence “then we’d no longer be driven by fear. We wouldn’t need rules and jails…or hospitals.” Wow. That, too, is huge!

There’s a lot more shared in this book and it truly is worth a read!! I’ve read it twice and each time I gain more understanding.

I don’t get to read as often as I’d like for I’m busy with my own books but I sure am glad I found this one and took the time to read it! So what do you think? Do you agree or disagree with the things Anita shares?

Okay then, back to my own writing! Working on book 7 of the Tess Schafer-Medium series and finalizing a new edition of book one “Be Still, My Love” (I’ve learned a LOT as a writer since it’s publication and I’m applying those lessons to the new edition. Same story, but the telling of it, I believe, is better!!). Thanks to all for your support and encouragement! The letters and messages I have received about the Tess Schafer series are heart-warming and uplifting!

Until next time, blessings to all and peace out!

Little Owls

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