Category: Christmas



Spiritualist Church AngelSince starting this blog, which mostly features posts geared toward the strange and unusual world of the paranormal…I’ve heard from people all over the world. They have shared with me and my blog readers stories of their struggles, concerns, worries and the like. I do believe that when we are dealing with negative stuff…we focus on the negative stuff (because, after all, that is what is going on and of course we are going to focus on it!) and then MORE negative crap happens (where your focus goes, so your energy flows!)

Same with ghost/spirit trouble. You have a problem with one ghost and suddenly they are everywhere! You have family problems and suddenly everyone is upset! You have money trouble and suddenly you are burdened with financial woes! One thing breaks down and suddenly everything is going kaput on you! On and on it goes.

Never are the ups and down of life so apparent as they seem to be than during the Christmas season. It’s a great holiday, representing something quite fantastic, but it’s also a depressing time of year for many. People start thinking about loved ones lost to spirit and miss their physical presence, those who can’t afford gifts for their loved ones feel the crush of disappointment over it pressing down on them, those that go through life on their own feel even more lonely when they see all the “togetherness” going on around them. It’s a great time of year and it’s the worst time of year. BUT, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. No.

To get the Christmas “spirit” flowing…you start spreading some of it! The more you spread, the more comes back to you! It does work like that (and as easily as that!) but it’s hard to get going if things are that bad. When things are going rough for me, I think back to one of the darkest periods of my life (nothing ever has gotten as bad as that ever since! Besides, the story that follows explains why I keep thinking about it).

I was going through a terrible marital breakup and for awhile I thought there was NOTHING good going on in my life. Other than the blessing of my three kids, life totally sucked. My job was a challenge because I’d switched to an area that resented my presence (I was in the military at the time and we were combining two different career fields into one…of course both career fields resented the other! I was moved to the new section and needless to say, they didn’t think I belonged there!), my boss (supervisor) was an ass…no other way to put it! He had ZERO sympathy for the heartbreaking anguish going on in my personal life. His cold responses to my emotional pain made things that much worse! My husband at the time thought a girl half his age was THE THING and though I managed to get him away from her (while offering her condolences by the way…I thought he was as deceitful to her as he was to me!), he soon found another to take her place! My kids were upset to be losing their daddy and so I had their tears to deal with as well as my own!  My finances were a MESS and … as I said, my heart broke. With Christmas rapidly approaching, things just seemed to be getting worse. How was I going to buy gifts for the kids? How was I supposed to show any happiness when I felt NONE? How was I supposed to FEED the kids, let alone find them Christmas presents?

Well, despite all my worry and misery, I prayed. And God heard (as ALWAYS!). Honestly, folks, there is POWER in PRAYER! Although I hadn’t been to church in many years, a couple that lived nearby and were good friends (he and I worked together in the military), convinced me to go to church with them. Although I’d been resisting their invitations for quite some time, one Sunday morning I was tired of moping around the house feeling sorry for myself so I called and said, “Okay. I’ll go to church with you!” Now what do you suppose the church was featuring on that day…my first time going? A six-part series on the LAW OF MONEY. I must reiterate here that my financial situation was quite bad! My kids and I were eating a lot of Ramen noodles, mac and cheese and fluffernutter sandwiches. I kept getting overdraft charges in my checking account and I barely had enough gas in the car to get to work…let alone make a trip to church! But I dressed up the kids and off to church we went. The kids thought it was a treat to get out of the house and I have to admit…I felt the same.

So, the preacher announces that he is going to be doing a six part series on the Law of Money and that it was important none of us missed the next five weeks. Interestingly enough, the church was undergoing some major renovations at the time so it might have been what prompted the “money” series but I don’t care. I felt it was God talking to me…that it was God that led me to church on that particular day and so I listened.

The first law was to give your concerns to God. Tell him what you need (though he already knows!). And to be clear here, I don’t particularly like calling God a “he” but it makes it easier to reference “him” as such so pardon the pronoun reference! So anyway, by clarifying our needs to God, we also are clarifying them to ourselves. There’s a difference between “needs” and “wants” and God WILL provide the “needs”. You have to go after the “wants” (actively seek them to achieve them). So I sat there in my pew and silently told God…”I need some money to pay my bills, buy some groceries (something besides Ramen noodles would be nice) and put gas in my car! Oh, and I need clothes for the girls because they are growing out of everything I have (they were 3 and 4 at the time) and all three of my kids need shoes!” (I took them to church in flip flops and torn sneakers!)

When it came time for the “offering”, I stared long and hard at my checkbook…which was quite pitifully low in the funds department and payday still over a week away! The preacher continued his sermon while the offering plate was passed around. “The more you give,” he says, “the more will come back to you. But give for the RIGHT reasons. Give not because you hope to receive but give because you want to help others! God will provide.” So I took that leap of faith and wrote out a check for over half the balance of my checking account! I no sooner put that check in the plate and my heart was pounding with worry! What had I just done!? Please, God, keep those needs of mine in mind over the next week or so!

As it happened, I had an appointment with a credit counseling agency the very next day. They had approved me for their program and I was meeting with them to set up their financial plan for me. BUT, when reviewing my finance sheet, they started telling me what things to cut from my costs and church donations was one of them! “God,” they said, “will understand that he can’t get a cut right now.” I told the counselor (who meant well, but obviously was quite unenlightened!) that I couldn’t do that. He then told me that I had to follow all of their plan or not be in the program. I politely declined the program and walked out of his office (much to his disbelief!). My heart was pounding because I was placing all my trust in God and though I had doubts that ALL my needs would be met (we are a very “doubting” sort of people aren’t we?), the fact is I was taking actions that showed my willingness to believe that God would provide. So, it’s okay to DOUBT…just so long as you don’t let that stop your actions of faith.

So anyway. I go home and I pour over my checkbook and there’s no money. I start crying silently, feeling sorry for myself as usual and worried about the fact that I was worried (after all, wasn’t I supposed to be trusting God?). When my son comes in and sees what’s happening, he asks what’s wrong and I tell him I’m just sad and that there is nothing for him to worry about (he was 10 at the time). So my son runs across the street to a neighbor and he tells her that his mom is crying. Over comes my dear friend Sylvia to check out the situation. I tell her that I was hoping to find some money to buy a few groceries but it seems that I am in the hole (which meant that I had written a bad check to the church!!!).

So my dear friend Sylvia sits down with me and we pour over all my bank statements (I don’t throw anything away!) and we examine my account from the last time I KNEW for certain it was balanced (which was almost a year ago!!). Another lesson learned…ALWAYS balance your checkbook on a MONTHLY basis…if not more so! And what do you suppose we discover? I made two payments on my car the previous month and there was a subtraction error as well (to my favor!). I call the car dealership handling my car loan and they say that I did indeed make two payments so I can skip this month’s payment since I’d already paid it! (honestly, I don’t know HOW I did such a thing but I’m not going to question it!). Suddenly I went from a negative balance to just over $300. That was a windfall to me.

Over the next few weeks it seemed that money just kept coming to me. A gift from my parents (for Christmas…thank God for great parents!!), a large unexpected child support payment (I didn’t see much in the way of child support assistance and since he was way behind and came into a bit of money, the state sent some of what he owed to me!!), an overpayment on some other bill from YEARS before! (Honestly! The agency…can’t remember who now…was “reviewing” my account and noticed a mistake on their behalf which resulted in me getting a refund!). On and on it went! Friends and neighbors were suddenly offering me clothes for my kids (without my asking for them or even indicating that we were in need of such things!). My dear friend Sylvia got a “buy one get one free” deal on shoes and since she had three kids that needed shoes, she got the free ones for my kids! The church gave us a food basket to enjoy for Christmas and the military also gifted us with help for the holiday!! Help was coming from everywhere!! God does indeed provide…TENFOLD!!!!!

We ended up having a decent Christmas. The kids were happy and their happiness helped heal my cracked heart. Besides, all the positive energy was really lifting my spirits and I soon came to the realization that the ending of a bad marriage is actually a GOOD thing! “They” say that when a door closes another will open and that is so true. The end of one thing just makes way for the beginning of something else (something BETTER). This is why I love the number “13”. In numerology it is considered a number of rebirth, renewal, reincarnation and the like. Basically, the number 13 marks the end of something and the beginning of another! People focus on the “ending of something” part and so think of that awesome number as bad. But I focus on the “beginning of something” part and so look at it as a positive number!

My life has gone nowhere but up since that dark period of my life. I have the BEST husband ever now. He’s been and continues to be one of the best things to ever happen to us! Money has been plentiful. I’m not rich but my NEEDS are all met and that’s huge in keeping the weight of burden off my back! Looking back…as bad as it all got and as awful as it all was…I’d go through it all again…exactly that way in order to get where I am right now!

One other thing to keep in mind as we go through the Christmas season…angels are with each and every one of us! We are never alone and they are ready and willing to help in however we need! From providing parking spots to finding things to alleviating negative situations…angels wait for our request to help! The thing about angels is you have to ASK for their assistance. They can’t just step in and do their thing without our permission. So keep them in mind and they’ll return the favor ten-fold!

To keep the spirit flowing…do you have a story to share? Has God come through for you in times of need? The angels? Let us know!!!

Wishing you ALL positive energy, many blessings and joy through Thanksgiving and on through Christmas!!!! PEACE OUT!


Marriage Day

Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)

It’s the holiday season of love and all around us we are surrounded with music, joyous color and beautiful twinkling lights. Life is quite magical during this time of year because many people are focused on all that is good with the world and thinking about ways to give those they love a merry Christmas or a happy Hanukkah or whatever it is they celebrate. BUT…not everyone is full of holiday cheer. For some people this is also one of the most depressing times of year. Those who are grieving grieve more, those who are unhappy and sad are even more so. No doubt about it…the month of December amplifies feelings…good and bad.

Since I celebrate Christmas, I am not going to say “holiday” so if that offends anyone (though, truly, I fail to see any offense especially when none is meant in any way whatsoever!)…well, sorry. The option is open to not read any further. Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter your belief and what you do or do not celebrate…what truly matters is the state of your heart. Which in turn often affects the state of your life. If your heart is hurting or your life a mess…then Christmas (this particular time of year) magnifies those states to a pretty high degree. I’m sure you’ve heard the statistics declaring that suicides are high in December. If you are lonely and are unhappy with your life or missing someone you love…then you REALLY feel that when everyone around you is focused on being happy and spending time with loved ones. What if the one you WANT to spend time with is no longer here? HOW do you deal with that? What if your family has fallen apart due to divorce? MAJOR upheaval almost always results from a marital break-up…especially when children are involved. It isn’t only heartbreak to deal with but often financial disaster too. And what if you have your marriage and family in tact, aren’t missing anyone BUT you’ve lost your home, or COULD be losing it? Or you haven’t a job? OR, you do have a job but it doesn’t pay enough to cover the bills let alone Christmas!

Life is freaking tough. It is challenging and disappointing and hurtful. It is also joyous, loving, rewarding and delightful…BUT, not when you are suffering in any way.

I have been through enough heartache in my life to know what it feels like to both celebrate Christmas and all the joys that come with it…and to cry my way through it because of all the other crap life has thrown my way.  One of the worst Christmas’s for me was right after my divorce. I had three kids, they depended on me to give them the Christmas they have always enjoyed…the making of cookies, the hanging of lights, the gifts, the music…all of it. But my heart was aching and I couldn’t bring myself into feeling anything but sorrow. For them I tried to put on a happy face. But I had no money to buy them gifts, no money to buy cookie making supplies, no money to even make a Christmas dinner. I remember worrying through that Christmas with constant fear that they would not be happy on Christmas day. It’s hard to hide the tears falling like a steady rain in your heart. Thanks to my friends and family, the kids had presents under the tree and though it wasn’t what they asked for, they were happy. We were invited for dinner elsewhere so we didn’t have to worry about that either. I don’t think my children were traumatized by that Christmas as much as I was. I remember setting out the kids’ gifts that awful Christmas Eve and crying my heart out. I was not happy with my life and I had no joy in my heart. I loved my kids and was thankful for them…but they did not fill the other gaping holes gouged in my heart. They did, however, get me through that Christmas. Some people don’t even have that.

Someone I am close to is now going through what I went through that awful year and under almost the same circumstances (isn’t it weird how life can repeat itself in a family?).  He has three kids and they are about the ages that mine were when my marriage fell apart. He told me yesterday: “I need to vent a little bit if you don’t mind.” (he said it in a calm voice, an almost incredulous look on his face…a “how did I get to this” kind of look). So I give him my attention and wait for his venting to begin. He continues in a calm voice, “I have nothing in my life. I just lost my wife, two of my kids (they were his wife’s kids from a previous relationship but he thought of them as his) and my home. I have no job, about a dollar to my name and nothing to show for my life. This isn’t how I expected things to be. This isn’t where I thought I would be at this time of my life.” I KNOW how he feels and it totally sucks. Pointing out to him the positive aspects of his life doesn’t change the facts as he stated them. He has a supportive family and he has his three children whom he had to fight hard and long for during his first divorce (yes, he is now going through yet another!). Finding THE ONE…the one significant other that you can spend the rest of your life with is one of the hardest treasure hunts you’ll ever conduct!

When you are sad and hurting, everyone wants to point out all the positive things in your life to help lift you up. That’s all well and good BUT it doesn’t make you feel better. In fact, sometimes it makes you feel worse because you are feeling bad EVEN THOUGH you have those other things! Yes, I was happy to have my kids (they have been my lifeline when I was drowning in hurt) BUT my hurt was coming from the loss of my marriage and all the memories we shared together (doesn’t it suck when you can’t SHARE memories? That’s part of the joy of having them…sharing them with the person who encountered them with you). Yes, I had friends and family to help give me things that I needed…food, clothes, Christmas gifts for the kids…BUT the fact remained that I was not capable of acquiring those things myself and I was without a life partner. I was in the military during my divorce and was living in base housing so I had a house to live in and didn’t have to worry about rent and utilities. I was grateful for that. I truly was! BUT, I didn’t have enough money left after paying bills to buy decent groceries or clothes for my kids. I constantly worried about that. I was always scrounging for change, counting pennies and praying for miracles. Those miracles came…eventually and when really needed (see God, Money, Faith). I can look back on those hard times now and chalk them up as experience…a time of learning and discovery. Learning my strength, discovering my true friends and knowing that God gives us what we need when we need it.

I don’t know if you’ve read The Secret or not but I sure did and I think it’s a great concept. I also believe in its message. I ought to…I’ve had many things manifest in my life that I’ve dreamed of and wished for. BUT, until your wish or dream or need is fulfilled, you still have the sorrow and hurt to deal with! HOW to do it? WHY does life has to be so darned challenging? For all the wonderful messages being thrown out at us to BELIEVE and receive, it isn’t so easy to do that when your life is a mess and/or your heart broke.

Relationships are hard. They are what make or break our life. There are many books and lots of advice given that you must love yourself and be your own best friend and the rest of the world will fall at your feet. BUT, relationships are what makes our life tolerable, joyous, hurtful or sad. The relationships we have with family and kids certainly play a HUGE role in our lives. A momentous role. BUT…it’s the relationship we have with our significant other (our partner, our lover, our other half) that seems to be the driving force behind our happiness. I can say this because DESPITE my wonderful kids, my awesome friends, my supportive and loving family…I was not happy because my marriage fell apart and I lost my partner. Even now, when things are not well between me and my husband…none of the other stuff that is right with my life…all the wonderful family and friends that I have…is enough to make me truly happy. My joy, it seems, rides on my personal relationship with my husband.

Almost every person I know seems to be happy or not depending on the status of their personal relationship with their partner (I don’t say “spouse” here because a lot of people just live together, besides, this also pertains to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships). There are some people who don’t care about their lack of a partner or who don’t care that the one they do have is not all they wanted. That’s awesome for them. BUT, that doesn’t help the rest of us who do seem to hinge our true state of happiness on how it’s going or not going with our “significant other”. This explains how even those who seem to “have it all” (money, a wonderful career, lots of support) end up unhappy and sad…so much so that some even choose to end their life! Princess Diana always comes to mind when I think about someone who “had it all” and yet was very sad. She had some of the best life had to offer: two awesome boys, beauty, riches, love from the world at large…but she was not happy in her marriage and she suffered immensely because of it.

It would be nice if we could learn to be happy with ourselves and accept that anything beyond that is extra icing on the cake of life…but I have no answers on how to get there. Thing is, it’s hard to be happy with ourselves when we aren’t in a good relationship, or have a job we enjoy or don’t have a job at all! It’s hard to enjoy ourselves if others are giving us grief in some way. It’s hard to enjoy ourselves for many, many reasons. The fact is, life is hard. The hardest thing we’ll live through! I think it does help, though, to know that we aren’t alone in this mess. Young or old, rich or poor, we all endure the same feelings. We all want to be loved…and not just by friends and family, but by one special person. Okay…maybe not ALL of us…but I think it’s safe to say that a good majority of the world population wants that.

There’s no answer on how to make this part of our life easier or to make it go more smoothly but it DOES help to know that we aren’t alone. Being alone is the worst thing ever. Aside from those we have in our life…we also have many watching over us in the afterlife. Now, some of you won’t believe that and those that don’t probably don’t read my blogs! But, if you are following my blog, then you probably share SOME of my beliefs and one of them is in God. I also believe strongly in angels…be they Guardian Angels or Spirit Guides or just loved ones who have passed on but keep a loving “eye” on us! (in fact, it was these beliefs that inspired me to write Be Still, My Love!) My life started turning around from abject misery when I began reading material about angels and learning more about them. My life got better…and eventually I did meet my true Soul Mate!! It was my belief in angels, though, that helped my heart to heal…because I knew…just KNEW life could only get better having them on my side. You have to consciously reach out to them though. They can’t just interfere with our life…we must ask to receive their help. It’s just one of those universal laws. That’s why the “ask and you shall receive” thing is such a POWERFUL statement! Asking from the HEART is one of the fastest ways to achieve our wants! Asking out of greed, anger, jealousy and any other negative emotion does NOT bring about what we want. It’s the love in our hearts…be they broken or not…that heals all wounds. Every last one of them!! So, if you are hurting…seek love wherever you can get it…family, church, organizations…and GIVE love back. It will change your life for the better. And that’s my message today.

When I say “Many blessings to you”, I truly mean it from my heart…I am asking the angels (and thus GOD!) to bless your life many, many times over. So, as we go through this challenging month of December…I wish you many blessings and much joy. I wish for you to discover the awesomeness of the angels and KNOW you are not alone…ever. Until next time…Peace Out!!!

Merry Christmas or Not


There are as many beliefs as there are stars.  Countless.  Everyone believes something, even when their belief is that they believe nothing.  As we filter through the various holidays, each one is celebrated (or not) in accordance with our beliefs.  Right now we are entering the Christmas holiday season.  For people all over the world, this special holiday means so many things and most of them positive.  But not all.

I get tired of the arguments on how to publicly handle greetings, parting wishes and comments during the Christmas season.   Do we say “Merry Christmas”?  Do we say, “Happy Holidays”?  Do we say nothing at all?  I say … say what you want!  If the spirit for which you give the comment is done with the best of intentions and the receiver chooses to negate the exchange, do not think you must change your feelings and responses to please the negative one.  Some people are so caught up in their own beliefs, thoughts and ideas that they are not willing to entertain any others.  Indeed, some of them will simply not tolerate a differing point of view!  Behavior like that is not fit to rule over society.  Sadly, those are the ones who seem to be controlling things more often than not.

I remember reading an article not too long ago about a woman who complained about a crucifix hanging on a cathedral wall.  A college was to hold their graduation ceremony at this cathedral (as they had done for many years) and this woman (who was obviously not a Christian) decided she was offended by the crucifix and filed a complaint.  What surprises me is the strong support she got for her request to remove or hide the (offending) crucifix!  Why?  How is a simple item (not meant in any way, shape or form to offend anyone) truly hurting this person?  What about the rights of all the other people who wish for the cross to remain?  When the intention of a symbol is not for the purpose of degradation or insults, then what is the problem?  Seriously.  When I see symbols of religions to which I take no part, I am not the least bit offended by them.  I see them as symbols for someone else’s faith and that is it.  The symbol, to me anyway, is meaningless and so I feel no offense.  If the symbol had power to hurt me, I would certainly object but there are no symbols that I know of which can cause injury to a person.

But I digress.  Christians the world over celebrate this time of year to honor of the birth of their savior.  Even among Christians, the holiday is celebrated in diverse ways.  That’s fine.  Celebrate it however you want. It’s pretty cool, though, that a few million of us all celebrate it similarly.  What I cannot fathom is why those who do not celebrate this holiday have the right to impose restrictions on those of us that do.  I wouldn’t dream of telling someone of another faith what to do or not do to honor their traditions and beliefs.

As for what we should say or what we should call it…well, Christmas is Christmas.  It isn’t a nondescript “holiday”.  It has meaning to people.  Over the centuries, people have adopted practices and traditions to celebrate this holy event … the birth of Jesus.  That is what Christmas is about … in part.  We’ve added a few more things to it and that’s fine.  It’s our right as individuals.  For those who do not believe in Jesus and who do not celebrate the holiday in any way, that’s fine.  Carry on.  But leave everyone else alone.  Don’t impose your beliefs on others.  I don’t try to press people to believe my religious and spiritual views and I expect others to do the same.

I am amazed that some people call Christmas a “pagan” holiday and turn up their disdainful noses at the practices some of us hold dear.  Regardless how the traditions started, what matters is the spirit of the intent NOW.  Some people may celebrate the Christmas season in tradition of pagan rituals.  All the power to them.  It’s their right to do so.  Some don’t believe in Jesus and do not celebrate a “non-event”.  Fine, all the power to you.  The fact is, each and every one of us has the right to celebrate anything we want however we want.

There are groups who love to complain that the Christmas tree, the stockings and poor Santa have nothing to do with Christmas.  That’s fine…for them.  But for those who like to differ on the subject, well that’s fine too!  If you think the tree has no place in Christmas, then don’t have a tree.  But please, don’t begrudge those of us that do!! There are some who say that Santa has no place in the Christmas story.  Fine, don’t have anything to do with the jolly ole fellow.  But leave the rest of us that do want to play along alone!  No, Santa isn’t in the bible.  He is in our hearts, our minds, our make-believe world.  He’s a pretense at magic and wonder and love.  What’s so wrong with that?  Some say, because Santa takes the focus off of the Lord.  How so?  I know people who are very devoted to the Lord, whose focus is very much upon him and yet they ALSO have a tree, give gifts and take their children to see Santa.  If someone isn’t focusing on the Lord, that is that person’s business, not anyone else’s.  Yes, the spirit of Christmas has become more than the birth of the Lord but I hardly doubt that’s an unforgivable sin.  It’s all done in love and gosh, isn’t that what God wants most?  For us to share the love?  And if by chance the good Lord does have a problem with how Christmas is celebrated, well then he’ll take it up with the offenders when they meet at the pearly gates.

The only time I think celebrations should be restricted is when injuries to persons or damage to property could occur.  Hazing for example.  That is a celebration of a sort.  Hazing has the potential for physical harm and there should be restrictions on those activities.  Saying “Merry Christmas” is not going to cause physical harm.  Such a greeting means only this:  “May you be merry and happy right now!!  Or it means, “May you be merry and rejoice during this time of Jesus’s birth!” or it means “May you be merry during this time of no import” (it’s all a matter of perception and how you choose to perceive this greeting when given it).  However it’s meant, the wish for “merry” is at its heart.  Truly, there is no offense meant or intended when someone graciously utters these words.  And another thing:  having a tree is not going to cause harm to anyone but the poor tree.  Giving presents and sitting on Santa’s lap is not going to cause injury to anyone or make a child a non-believer of the Christian faith.

Although it’s become very commercialized with the retailers, people are looking for ways to make Christmas special to them and the loved ones in their lives.  I no longer buzz about frantically, looking for the perfect gift.  I rarely find it and I probably can’t afford it.  I used to do that and get all stressed out.  Now I try to think of something thoughtful to give because it gives me pleasure to give.  And I also do a lot of baking!  Everyone loves to eat.  I listen to the music because its so uplifting and I put up my lights because they are pretty and I enjoy looking at them.  On Christmas day, I love to watch the family open their presents and then we enjoy a good meal together.  It’s a day to celebrate love.  It’s a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  Or not.  It’s yours to celebrate however you wish.

May you have a joyous and Merry Christmas!! Blessings and peace out.

A little humor for your added pleasure:  The silliness of being “politically correct”

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