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Category: faith



I recently read the book DYING TO BE ME, MY JOURNEY FROM CANCER, TO NEAR DEATH, TO TRUE HEALING by Anita Moorjani (Dying To Be Me) and I just had to write a review and share it with you! As a brief overview of the story…Anita was suffering with cancer, stage 4, and her body was shutting down. She entered a deep coma and as doctors waited for her life to end, she was experiencing “the other side”.  When she regained consciousness (totally not expected), her cancer spontaneously healed and all her physical ailments improved. She is now a healthy and happy woman! She chose to come back, she says, and not stay “there” because she wanted to share her experience and their (Spirit’s) message with the world.

What I love about this story is that it is a documented case. Meaning there are actual FACTS backing up her story…as far as the cancer being present, her physical condition during her near-death experience and the spontaneous healing of her cancer.

I was inspired by the story for it had a wonderful, positive message. I was also excited to discover that some of the things Anita shared, mirrored sentiments that are expressed in my Tess Schafer-Medium series! I want to share with you a few of the things I got out of this book. I encourage anyone else who has read it to share their thoughts and what they got out of it as well! Or tell me what you think of this post!

One thing Anita learned was that “Religion is just a path for finding truth: Religion is not truth. It is just a path. And different people follow different paths.” I love this because it is something I can readily accept. There are so many religions and I used to wonder…which one is the “right” one? Her concept embraces them all and tells us that no matter the path we take (the religion we choose to follow) they all lead to God. (Yay!) How we learn the lessons we wish to learn is a personal journey for each of us. Even when it seems we are sharing the same path, it isn’t the EXACT same path. I find it quite comforting that we all will learn what we need to know…eventually.

Anita also states that “there was no other way of communicating in that realm other than through our emotions.” Wow! Not only does my character Tess Schafer state this quite often, but it is something I believe and have experienced myself! Communication with the spirit world is not always done with words. That’s why mediums have to navigate through their emotions very carefully. Their interpretation of the communication might not be how the recipient of the communication would interpret it.

Speaking of emotions, Anita says that “our feelings are actually what drive our physical reality.” Interesting! Another statement she made that gave me some peace of mind was that “Everything happens when we’re ready for it to happen.” This really makes a lot of sense because if we aren’t ready for something, then we aren’t going to understand it, or embrace it or learn from it. We can’t, because we aren’t ready! This is why I am always trying to “ready” myself by constantly seeking to learn new things.

Anita talks about connecting with her deceased friend Soni during her sojourn on “the other side” and says that “my essence merged with Soni’s and I became her. I understood that she was here, there, and everywhere. She was able to be in all places at all times for all her loved ones.” This was quite interesting to me because many people ask how it is possible for their loved one to respond to several people at the same time. If they were watching over one person, then it seems logical that they cannot be watching over another. Yet this shows that’s not the case. This is something I’ve always believed and I’m excited that her experience validates this belief for me.

Her experience with time was another issue that coincides with my beliefs and is also something my character Tess often refers to. Anita says “Time felt different in that realm, too, and I felt all moments at once. I was aware of everything that pertained to me–past, present, and future–simultaneously. I became conscious of what seemed to be simultaneous lives playing out.” Physicist have long laid claim to the concept that time…past, present, and future…happens simultaneously. This is where the concept of time travel comes from! How amazing that she came to understand this and experience it for herself. Also, she mentions her awareness of other lives! Since I am a strong believer in past lives and reincarnation, this resonated strongly with my own beliefs. So much so that I even wrote a novel based on this very concept titled No Matter What!

Another thing that struck Anita in a profound way was how she felt while “there”. In her spirit state she realized she was not who she always thought herself to be. She says “Here I am without my body, race, culture, religion, or beliefs…yet I continue to exist! Then what am I? Who am I? I certainly don’t feel reduced or smaller in any way. On the contrary, I haven’t ever been this huge, this powerful, or this all-encompassing. Wow, I’ve never, ever felt this way!

I loved that she realized her identity “here” in the earth plane is not who she is in the spirit plane! None of us are the same “over there” as we are here. In spirit we are loving entities and identify with no labels! Wouldn’t that be great if we could be like that here in our physical life? But we didn’t come here to be the same as we are “over there”. We came here to experience different identities and that is exactly what we are all doing. When we finally get to the point where we are the same “here” as “there” (when we cannot separate our identity in each realm) then there will be no need to come back (reincarnate).

Another point she learned from the experience is that one must “cultivate a deep love affair with yourself” and Anita believed it was a key element to her spontaneous healing! Once she figured it out that “to be me is to be love“, the lesson, she says, saved her life. The concept here, however, is that to love ones self means to love others as well for each of us are love. Being love, she says, “means being aware of the importance of nurturing my own soul, taking care of my own needs, and not putting myself last all the time.”

Another wonderful point she made is that we already have everything we need (for it lies within us) and that it’s accessible when we allow ourselves to open up to what is true within us. This piggybacks on the concept that all time (past, present, and future) exists at once. Since every possibility already exists, then whatever we desire (and not desire) has already come to pass. We just need to move through that reality and we do it through our belief in its existence! Our reality here, she believes, “is a playground of expression.” (what fun!) We are here (in physical life) to experience, explore and create. And guess what? The things we wish to obtain or attain to…is already ours to obtain or achieve! You just need to ALLOW it into your reality. That is done through belief and excitement!! Anita says that “everything I could ever want to happen in my life already exists in that infinite, nonphysical plane. My only task is to expand my earthly self enough to let it into this realm.” All you need to do is expand your consciousness to “allow universal energy to bring it into (your) reality”. Easy peasy, right?

What I particularly like is the idea that we contain “all the resources” that we “need to navigate through life” and that is because we are “One with Universal energy.” She further makes the claim that WE “are universal energy”! Each one of us, she says, “has this magnificent, magical life force coursing through every single cell”. How amazing is that? How awesome are we!!

The problem, of course, is that our busy lives and all the things we get caught up in “makes us forget that we’re connected to Universal energy and that we have these natural abilities”. When we start listening to and believing what others tell us, it turns us away from the knowledge of our own power. But, and I love this…”emotions are a doorway into the soul”. Wow. This is major. A big, freaking deal!! She says “our feelings about ourselves are actually the most important barometer for determining the condition of our lives!” Read that again. It’s worth it!

One thing that is important to understand is the concept of “being” and “doing”.  She explains it thusly: “Being doesn’t mean that we don’t do anything. It’s just that our actions stem from following our emotions and feelings while staying present in the moment. Doing, on the other hand, is future focused, with the mind creating a series of tasks that take us from here to there in order to achieve a particular outcome, regardless of our current emotional state.” One way to determine the difference is to identify your motivation…is it driven by fear or passion? If what you are doing is driven by passion then you are “being”. If what you are doing is driven by fear then you are “doing”.

A big point she brings up is that if we “stop judging ourselves, we’d automatically find less and less need to condemn others”. Wow. What’s that say for all the judgments going on in the world today? Speaking of the world, Anita says “The external world mirrors what we feel about ourselves.” If that’s so, and I believe it is, then our world is filled with people who are filled with fear! Is it because of discontent with our personal lives? I believe so and so does Anita.

“The Universe is contained with us, and what we experience externally is only a reflection”. She believes that no one is truly bad, not at our “core” (soul) and evil, she says, “is only a product of our fears”.  If everyone was aware of their magnificence “then we’d no longer be driven by fear. We wouldn’t need rules and jails…or hospitals.” Wow. That, too, is huge!

There’s a lot more shared in this book and it truly is worth a read!! I’ve read it twice and each time I gain more understanding.

I don’t get to read as often as I’d like for I’m busy with my own books but I sure am glad I found this one and took the time to read it! So what do you think? Do you agree or disagree with the things Anita shares?

Okay then, back to my own writing! Working on book 7 of the Tess Schafer-Medium series and finalizing a new edition of book one “Be Still, My Love” (I’ve learned a LOT as a writer since it’s publication and I’m applying those lessons to the new edition. Same story, but the telling of it, I believe, is better!!). Thanks to all for your support and encouragement! The letters and messages I have received about the Tess Schafer series are heart-warming and uplifting!

Until next time, blessings to all and peace out!

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It’s been quite a while since I last posted and as usual it’s because there’s been a lot going on! My life gets busier and busier. It also seems to be getting harder. Definitely not easier. The older we get, the more we must deal with, especially when it comes to the loss of loved ones. My last blog post was about the sudden loss of my young nephew. We are still dealing with that, our grief, our shock and disbelief and most of all…MISSING his physical presence in our lives. Since then I’ve received countless messages from people in a similar situation…they lost a loved one and now they want to connect with their spirit. They NEED to KNOW for absolute SURE that their loved one is okay.

I am here to tell you this…this I KNOW: our loved ones in spirit do NOT forget about us and they sure as heck to not LEAVE us. They just don’t. They CAN’T because we are all connected spiritually to each other. We share in the same essence of LIFE…the spiritual force of GOD. Now we have many names for God and it doesn’t matter what name is used…he/she/it/Universal Force/Knowing One/Great Spirit/Allah…etc. It all boils down to the same thing. Argue with me if you will and it matters not. It is what it is. Bold statement to make but I’m feeling bold today. I write what spirit moves me to write and today spirit (God) is telling me to write this. So I did.

I have lost many loved ones from physical life…to include many pets!…and even knowing they are in spirit, LIVING on and by no means gone, I still miss them. I still grief for the loss of their physical presence. I offer myself comfort by imagining them in spirit as I expect them to be…gloriously happy! It gives me some measure of peace but doesn’t take away the disappointment I feel for no longer sharing physical life with them.

I must remind you of this…we AGREED to these terms when we entered this life. We KNEW the score, what it would be like to come here, the fact that we were not going to be happy all the time and living a life filled with riches, our every want satisfied. We had that OVER THERE (on the “other side” as we like to call it). We entered this life to experience things…feelings of all types, conditions of all sorts. Some were born to feel what it’s like to be rich and famous, to have anything they want, others were born to experience what it is like to have NOTHING. Whatever life you are living…THAT IS WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO EXPERIENCE. Don’t like it? CHANGE it. Easy to say, difficult to do! Actually, to be honest, it isn’t difficult to change the conditions of your life but it is NEARLY impossible to change your MINDS about it! We THINK we are stuck with the life we are leading and so we are indeed stuck. Nothing is hard unless we make it hard. Being human, conditioned to believe as we do, we make everything HARD! We hear about rags-to-riches stories and we hear about miracles and we think…yeah, that won’t happen to me. And so it doesn’t. Goodness…I am sounding a bit like the people who wrote “The Secret” and how the “law of attraction” can work for you!  But you know what? That particular law has worked for countless people! People who overcame the limitations of their minds to experience the change they WANTED. I am here to tell you this…I am struggling right along with you!

I think there is nothing more disappointing than to KNOW something and yet not put that knowledge to use! Example. I am a writer. I’ve wanted to write since I was eight years old. That’s when I wrote my very first story (which I still remember quite well!!). Since that first story, I’ve been OBSESSED with writing. There was a time when I couldn’t STAND seeing a blank paper or computer screen in front of me…I HAD to fill them with words, stories! I am CONSTANTLY making up stories in my head. This obsession tells me that I was BORN TO BE A WRITER! This I KNOW. Yet, and get this, I didn’t publish my first book until I was 48 years old! What?!!!! True story. AND I did it myself. Rejection letters from literary agents nearly destroyed my belief that being a writer was my life calling! Then along came Amazon with the Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) program and suddenly there was no obstacle left to achieving my dream. I do believe that Amazon’s self-publishing program was created to help all of us writers realize a dream. Great, wonderful. Now my dreams have changed a bit and I am looking for READERS! (sigh) Once we reach one goal, we immediately make another, one a bit more challenging than the last! That’s not a bad thing, we are SUPPOSED to be doing that, but golly gee, if only things could get easier once in a while! So here’s my point: I KNOW I was meant to be a writer and I am. I write. I have NINE published books. It matters not that I published them myself or with a small independent publisher. I have PHYSICAL books that I can hold and that were created by me! Yay! Hurrah! BUT (and here’s the kicker) now I want readers to read my books! Not just because I believe my books can help them in many ways but because I want to make a living from doing what I love (seriously, don’t we all?). I don’t expect nor want a lavish life, just a comfortable one where I’m not constantly struggling to pay bills! I’m not out to be greedy. I don’t want much…I just want to lead a comfortable life and I want to have the ability to help others when they need a little help. I KNOW this is possible. I KNOW that if I can just force my limited-thinking brain to accept that this is NOT unreasonable, then I will find all the readers I want for my books! And sometimes it’s even happened. And then for some reason, I put the brakes on the whole thing. Ugh! WHY do I do that?

As much as I believe my stories will help people in some way…by showing them how to connect with spirit and even deal with all the aspects of dealing with spirit…I start second-guessing my ability, my stories, my readers and so on and so on. I will get a five-star, glowing review for one of my books and will be over the moon about it and then I will get a scathing one-star review and go plummeting back to earth, crash landing into despair and muddling about there until another five-star review pulls me out of the mess. It’s exhausting and it’s annoying. I don’t know why I can’t get it through my head that my stories are worthy of being read. They MUST be or they wouldn’t be in existence. It’s that nasty little voice that sneaks into my mind telling me that there are lots of things in existence that seem to have no purpose that causes all the problems. THAT voice, my dear friends, is our EGO. We all were saddled with one…a requirement to enter the earth plane and experience physical existence. Our Ego tears us down, builds us up, determines what we believe, don’t believe, accept, don’t accept, love, hate…etc. It’s a big, big deal to learn how to live peacefully with our Ego. It keeps us grounded in disbelief or sends us flying into flights of fancy and sometimes, when we get it right, we live the life we want! If only I could figure out that last bit on a regular basis! (sigh)

So anyway, here we are. Living a life that some of us are happy with and some of us aren’t. For the most part I’m pretty happy with my life. BUT, I do wish my books were best sellers! (smile) I’m still working on making that dream a reality. I’m not sure why my Ego keeps putting the brakes on that particular dream. I guess it’s a life lesson I have not yet mastered (obviously). Not too long ago I had a Bookbub promotion for my book NO MATTER WHAT. The story is based on reincarnation…which I DO believe in by the way! I wanted to show HOW reincarnation works and how it affects our life and I wanted to show that through a story. That promotion led to over 19,000 ebook downloads! My book made it to the number ONE slot for “Free books” in the Kindle store. I was over the moon excited! Then the promotion was over and the downloads plummeted to just a few books and then down to even fewer books and here I am, back where I started, wondering if I will ever “make it” as a writer. So yeah, I get it about how hard it is to change the conditions of our life. The upside is this: I KNOW it will eventually change, I just have to figure out HOW to make the change. Once I figure it all out, I’ll let ya know how I did it!

So back to our loved ones in spirit. There are many “there” (I put that in parenthesis because being in spirit means to be in a different state of consciousness, a different dimension of experience and not a physical location far from us) that I love and miss. My grandparents are two of them…my Nana and Grampy. I adored them. I loved them with my whole heart and mind and soul. I still do! Their passing into spirit was the hardest, saddest periods of my life. I have other times like that ahead and I dread it. I don’t have any easier time dealing with loss than those who don’t believe they can connect with spirits. As many times as I’ve connected with my Nana and Grampy and many others, I still struggle with my feelings of missing them. Despite KNOWING they are fine and connecting with them many times, I want what we all want…their physical presence. I have to tell you, though, that I’ve had some amazing experiences and continue to get them. My grandparents come through for me all the time. I think about them so much that they enter my consciousness often and give me physical signs of their presence. It’s quite comforting and I love knowing they are around…but I still miss them in the physical sense.

What I am trying to convey in this post is this: No matter how limiting your mind (Ego, belief), you CAN connect with your loved ones in spirit and you CAN change the conditions of your life. You CAN. We all…each and every single one of us…have the ability to connect with spirit and live the life we want. It’s DOING it that’s the problem. You’d think connecting once would make it easier to connect again but it isn’t. Not if your Ego, belief, is creating a problem. Like for me with my books. You’d think making it to the NUMBER ONE slot on Amazon’s best seller list would make it easier to do it again and even stay there but no, that’s not the case. Something happens to make me doubt the situation (like a scathing review!) and sales plummet! As for connecting with spirit, I’ve done it enough that I don’t have many problems with it anymore. Not for myself anyway. I shy away from connecting with loved ones for others. Not because I don’t believe I can but because I worry that maybe I’m not bringing the message through properly. After all, communicating with spirit is not done the same way as we communicate with each other in the physical world. Spirit connects with us through our consciousness and they do it through EMOTION and that is conveyed symbolically. Learning the process takes lots of practice. I have it down pretty good with my Nana and Grampy but when it comes to other people, I get a little shy about it. Meaning my Ego gets in the way! Annoying.

With all the messages I get from grieving people pleading with me to help them connect with someone they have lost physically, I have this to say: You CAN connect with them and are doing it more often than you think! For example, those dreams you get about a loved one in spirit…quite REAL! BUT, let me caution you here…if you have a dream where they are suffering…that is not from them! That is your EGO getting in the way, making you think they are suffering. I promise you, your loved ones are NOT suffering! If you LOVED them, they are LOVED by GOD as well. Your love comes from the Divine Source. If YOU wouldn’t make them suffer, God sure as heck won’t either! I promise you. Now, as for people who do evil deeds…they will totally regret those deeds once they are back in their spiritual form and consciously connected with their soul. They will be very sad for what they did and they’ll be back (via reincarnation) to make amends. That’s how it works. Hard as that might be to accept, even people who do evil deeds have people who love them! They don’t love what they DID but they love the PERSON (their soul…which is pure).

I don’t want to ramble on too much more and make this post too long so I’m going to bring this to a close. In my next post…which I promise won’t take forever to be published…I will help you understand your connection to spirit and how you can recognize when your loved ones in spirit are with you! Until then, I send you loving light and peace, I wish for you to be showered in love and I pray you figure out how to live the life you WANT! More than anything, I wish for those who are suffering grief to feel some measure of peace in knowing their loved ones are NEAR and they are truly okay. More than okay. They are THRIVING with the life force of God. Blessings to all!! May your lives move ever Onward and upward!!

 


100_4043I’ve been so busy lately that I don’t even know what day it is, let alone remember the date! Although I thought life would become more enjoyable than challenging as I moved up in age, the opposite seems to be happening! Then again, my family is a LOT bigger than it used to be and I’ve somehow taken on more responsibilities, so I guess I should have realized that things were not going to slow down or get easy…ever!

One thing I have going on is that I’m writing TWO new books! At first they were neck in neck…I’d work on one book for awhile and then go to the other and work on that one. I was on chapter five with both books when one of them just took off, and now I’m totally caught up in the story and can’t tear myself away from it long enough to work on the other one (which I totally do love by the way!!!). It’s just become too urgent!

The one going wild on me is book six of the Tess Schafer-Medium series. Today I thought of a title for it…Tortured Souls. Although Tess has her hands full dealing with real life issues, she’s also got things going on in the spirit world that need just as much of her time and attention. What strikes me about this is the fact that the book’s premise is probably more true than it is fictional! Fact is, just as we are caught up in our own drama of worry and concern, so can those in spirit!

Whether we are “here” in the physical world or “there” in the spirit world, we are just as focused in our needs and desires as ever! What I enjoy so much about my Tess Schafer-Medium series is that I feel like my character Tess and I are on this amazing spiritual journey together! The stories unfold in ways that are constantly surprising me. My characters feel as real to me as my “real life” peeps and I have to wonder sometimes…perhaps they do exist in an alternate reality! Yeah, that’s what my brain does on occasion…it goes “out there” in it’s meanderings.

So anyway, back to my busy life. My husband and I have decided to downsize our lives and live simpler…we really do work hard at complicating our lives, don’t we? I mean…we buy all these things that we later look at and wonder…what did I need this for. The truly sad part is where those things we thought we just HAD to have end up. They go to the “give away” pile or the “donation” pile or the garbage bin if I think no one will want it (and again I wonder why I ever did!). So anyway, we’ve been renovating our house in the hopes of making it more appealing to possible buyers and weeding through our things, packing away what isn’t necessary (which turns out to be an incredible amount of stuff!), and along with all that we are trying to keep up with the yard work…trimming, weeding, pruning, raking, mowing, etc… Yeah, busy times. Oh, and I’m also trying to write TWO books and deal with all the drama that comes from having a large family!

As I was working on a title for my newest “Tess” book (as I unofficially call the series), I thought about what my character is dealing with…people who are tortured by emotional pain and loss of loved ones (both in this life and the next) and I thought, she’s trying to help these poor tortured souls…and waalaaa…a title! But isn’t it the truth of the world? We deal with emotional pain and mental trauma all the dang time. There’s just always something going on. Life is hard. It really is. It often sucks. Can’t anything ever go RIGHT? But on the flip side…life can be pretty darn thrilling!

2013-10-05 16.46.10We’ve gone on a few camping trips over the summer and we’ve taken some of our grandchildren with us on a couple of them. We enjoyed that so much that it helped to put things back in a more positive perspective. The joys in our lives are no doubt our kids (though at times they can certainly be our “pain”!!) and our grandkids. We’ve also had some great times with friends (angels on earth!). In addition, like right now…the world is exploding with color as the Fall moves in for a short visit (here in Maine, nothing lasts long, especially not the seasons and most certainly not the weather!). Amid all the crap life deals out, there is also amazing beauty and joyful moments.

I know many people like to knock concepts like “The Secret” but you know, the fact is…we really do have the most influence over our own lives and how things play out. Where our FOCUS goes, our energy flows. If we FOCUS on the crap, all we see is crap. We find what we look for and when we are dealing with crap, we EXPECT more crap and so, of course, we LOOK for it! The opposite is true as well. When great things happen to us, it seems that MORE great things happen and life is grand…nothing can go wrong! Until it does. And there we are, right back to the crap, focusing on it, looking for it and ultimately finding it. There we languish through the muck of strife until something good happens and we are once again living the good life! It’s an endless cycle isn’t it?

So anyway, after doing all the work we’ve been doing on our house and around the yard (it sure is looking good around here!!), we learn that the housing market just isn’t going to support a sale of the sort we need. Not right now. Although I was initially disappointed, I have finally managed to stop the mental tirade that was not only bumming me out but giving me stress. I am now telling myself what I KNOW to be true…when things don’t go the way we hope, it’s because something BETTER is in store for us! In every instance where things didn’t SEEM to go right for me, they ended up being the best things to have happened!

100_4065The more we TRUST in the universe (which, of course, operates through God) to take good care of us, the faster things work out! Seriously, I don’t believe our purpose for existence is to live through crap. My belief on the matter is that one of our life tasks (for I am sure there are many!) is to figure out how to eliminate it. One way we can make that to happen is to change our FOCUS and trust in the fact that we are meant, truly meant, to experience Heaven on Earth. It’s not an easy task to accomplish. In fact, most of us might manage, at best, a few fleeting moments of joy. Even so, despite the difficulty in doing so, constant PEACE is achievable. I KNOW it. So, based on this knowledge, I’m trying my best to silence my Ego’s negativity and let the Universe (God) do its thing! Which can only be something wonderful because that’s what God is all about! Our poor tortured souls (of our own doing) are meant to be joyful and at peace. What a rough road our souls often travel in this journey through life!

As I head toward the finish in “Tortured Souls”, I wonder how my character and I are going to get there and it marvels me the way my life often parallels the story I’m writing. The truth, as they say, is stranger than fiction! Speaking of which…that movie Stranger Than Fiction really strikes a chord in me as a writer. I do feel like that sometimes…like my characters really exist in some alternate reality that I just happen to be channeling. In fact, I often feel like that’s what I’m doing when I write my books…I channel them. I’m just like a first-time reader when writing my stories, I’m as eager as they are to learn what’s going to happen next!

Okay, my meanderings are over. Now I’ll address those who are reading my Tess Schafer-Medium series….if you are interested in being informed when the next book is coming out and you are not following this blog (because I will announce it in a future blog post), then click on my contact page and give me your email. I’ll use it ONLY to send out information on what’s happening with my books or maybe appearances I’ll be engaging in…we (my husband and I) are hoping to go on a few road trips in the near future!! I won’t give your email to any lists or marketers and I won’t bother you with anything other than book/appearance updates. Also, because I did mention I was working on two books…I wanted to let you know that the other one is a romance (if I’m not reading paranormal stories then I’m reading romances!!). However, though it’s a romance, I did include a ghost (couldn’t resist!). It’s actually a spin-off from another book I wrote titled “Deceptive Hearts” which will be released around the same time!  So, yeah, lots going on. Thank you God for inspiring the stories and giving me the ability to write them!!!

Until next time…Peace Out and Blessings to All!!


Ghost Trouble eyesI get a lot of comments from people who say that they feel like someone is watching them. Since they know there is no one else around, they are pretty sure the feeling is coming from a ghost, and it freaks them out, makes them uneasy and anxious…and for some, it terrifies them. I know the feeling…been there and done that a time or two or a thousand! It’s not a good feeling. Seriously, it’s bad enough to have someone watching us when we can see them watching us, but to have “someone” watching us that we can’t see? Now that is a spooky, please-make-it-stop kind of uncomfortable. A big part of that fear is the unknown factors. Who is it? WHAT is it? What do they want? Are they going to attack me? Possess me? Do they watch me during private moments when I don’t want anyone watching me?

So, here’s the thing…those in spirit don’t have “eyes” the way we do and thus can’t actually “see” us in the way that we see each other. We live in a physical world and must use our physical eyes to see it. Those in spirit have “spirit eyes”. They sense us, can FEEL us, and they may even be aware of who we are BUT, they can’t actually SEE us or what we are doing. So go ahead and pee and don’t worry that a ghost is standing there watching! Really!

I used to worry about that…being watched in the bathroom…when I lived in the haunted house I’ve talked about in this blog. The idea that a ghost might watch while I took care of business made it very hard to relax and get it done! I couldn’t wait to hurry the heck up and get out of there! Now, of course, I realize that even if I was to sense a ghost in the bathroom with me…that ghost isn’t actually watching me do my business! They are sensing my presence and that’s pretty much it (sort of like what we experience with them). If only someone had told me that back then! It sure would have helped my poor digestive tract a little more!

Another worry that people often express is that the spirits they sense will end up attacking…or worse POSSESSING them! First off, possession is not common and there’s a LOT of conditions that must be in place for something like that to happen. For instance, people with substance abuse problems, mental illness (like schizophrenia for example) and severe depression are a little more susceptible. And, of course, not all people experiencing those things are going to be susceptible. Constant negative thoughts can (and often do!) attract negative entities and when combined with those conditions just mentioned…well, that could POSSIBLY put someone at RISK but again, it isn’t a done deal. So let’s just leave the possession thing alone. Besides, if a possession was going to occur, there would be a LOT more things going on than feeling watched!

A lot of people also say that along with those feelings of being watched, they also are having nightmares. Now, I think their concern is that the nightmares are somewhat prophetic or there’s worry that something LIKE it is going to happen “for real”. No. Nightmares are your mind’s way of acting out your fears. FEAR triggers nightmares. Fear causes us to imagine all sorts of horrors that we worry might happen. Now, although the imagination is the key to opening the door to the spirit world, it is also a way to act out our fears, our dreams, our desires…etc….prior to making SOME of them actually come about. Depending on what you give the most focus to, that is the sort of energy you invite into your life. And by the way, it has to be more than a passing thought or even casual “daydreaming” for it to come into actual creation. You have to CONCENTRATE and FOCUS your energy and do it with INTENTION to bring it into your reality.

As spiritual beings…which we ALL are…we are, at the most basic, most simplistic level…beings of ENERGY. Focused thought activates our source energy and become POWERED UP by our EMOTIONS. So, if you are constantly focused on a particular worry and you FEEL lots of anxiety and fear because of it…then you are generating energy that goes along with those sorts of thoughts. That generated energy attracts more of the same and so you get caught in this terrible negative cycle. Therefore, if you are in a house, for instance, that makes you feel like someone is watching you and you’ve determined it is haunted and since you are scared of ghosts your imagination kicks in, adding more fear to the idea and nightmares happen and more ghostly (paranormal) activity occurs and now you’re thinking you could be possessed or killed or maimed……..do you see how it goes? I’ve been guilty of it myself!

If only someone had told me that haunted or not, negative spirit or not…I HAVE THE POWER TO PROTECT MYSELF and they (meaning anything of any sort) can’t hurt me…then I may have enjoyed a lot more of those seven years that I lived in that freaky old farmhouse! And the thing is…I survived it just fine. As did my family. Every terrifying experience brought about no physical harm. Ever. In truth, pretty much everyone survives their ordeal in a haunted house. The few, few exceptions involve special conditions as mentioned above.

As for me, in any situation in which I have felt threatened (be it from a supernatural source or NOT), I prayed. Let me tell you right now, folks, prayer works! Prayer to the higher power (whoever that is to you…be it GOD, ALLAH, BUDDHA, etc…) WILL protect you. Some have said they did pray and yet the spirit stayed anyway. Well, the good ones aren’t going to go away if you prayed for negative spirits to be vanquished from your presence! Besides, there’s no need for protection from loving entities. And as to that, well some people don’t want loving spirits around them either! And that’s fine, it’s their choice to make. Loving entities will go away when you ask them to. Negative ones won’t. You need to work at it a bit more. But whether they are there or not, regardless how bad they are, you CAN protect yourself. You have within you all the power you need to do it!

It’s really no surprise that negative entities lurk in the dark, slithering along in the shadows. Their personal spiritual energy is “vibrating” to a much slower “speed” than those living in the “light” (which vibrates to a much higher rate of speed than anything in existence!). Let’s take a fan for example. If you spin the blade around with your hand…it isn’t very fast and you can see the blade. That is a slow speed, it generates no energy…no breeze, nothing. Plug that fan into an outlet and turn it on and guess what? You can’t see the blade because it is spinning around too fast. AND the energy is generating wind! Well, light is like the fan that is going at full speed (this is why we can’t see spirits, their personal energy is vibrating to a such a rate of speed they are “invisible”). All beings are high energy lifeforms. You see, we have two bodies…the physical body which is vibrating at a slow rate of speed (all MATTER is dense because its energy is moving slow enough to make it appear solid…like the fan blade that is not under electrical power) and we have our spiritual body which is “plugged” in to our source energy (God in my book). When a person’s spiritual energy is dim (meaning their awareness of God is slim to none) then they are operating on low energy which is considered negative (and I might add here that although negative energy is strong, it will never be stronger than positive energy!). Negative entities work best in the dark. That’s because the energy in those areas matches their own. When they try to operate in the light, they can easily become overpowered. So, by creating light…be it real or IMAGINED (focused thought…intention…is very powerful!) you are generating enough power to combat any and all negative entities. The “light” (of God!) PROTECTS you from its influence. End of story.

When I lived in that haunted farmhouse, I feared two things…I feared the negative spirits present there and I feared thunderstorms (in fact, I still don’t like those storms!). To protect myself from the negative spirits, I prayed. To protect our home from lightning strikes, I prayed and then imagined that God placed a protective shield around our home. EVERY time I did this, our home was left untouched by lightning. I forgot twice and deliberately didn’t do it ONE time (as an experiment) and in all three instances our house was struck! Coincidence?  I think NOT.

So, my advice to those who sense ghosts and feel like they are being watched…I tell them that they are in no danger. Because they aren’t. They’d have to tell me a heck of a lot more than the following to think otherwise: I feel someone watching me. I hear my name being called. I hear footsteps. I felt someone touch me. I feel cold spots. I’m having nightmares. I heard knocking noises. My lights come off and on. My doors open and close. I’m losing things. (Just to name a few of the more common experiences!)

I think knowing you aren’t going to be attacked or possessed goes a long way to calming some of the fear. Right? Then I tell them how they can protect themselves: Prayer, Imagining light around them (or a bubble of protection, that works too!), and mentally sending them away. The thing is…the physical world belongs to the physically living. This is OUR world. We are the boss of it. So, by taking command of your immediate surroundings, you determine what can and can’t happen. You do this by DELIBERATE, FOCUSED INTENTION.

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My favorite form of protection is to imagine myself glowing bright from the inside out. My personal “light” (my spiritual energy) is so amazingly powerful, I don’t need anything else. But some people feel like they need more…so that’s where other things come into play…such as wearing a cross for example. If you believe that is going to protect you…then it will! In Okinawa, Japan, (where I was stationed for three years while serving in the Air Force), they put statues of these mythological creatures called Shi-shi dogs at the entrance to public parks and buildings and personal homes. The Shi-shi dogs have two functions: One keeps the negative spirits away…and the other allows the good spirits to enter! So, those work too! Whatever you believe in will work. And here’s the kicker…whether you BELIEVE in your imaginary light as being protective or NOT, it WILL STILL WORK! Why? Because light is positive energy. That is what it is. Not believing in it isn’t going to change anything. Just like if you are to look at a cup and say, “No, I don’t believe that’s a cup.” Well, guess what…it’s still a cup isn’t it? It is what it is. Don’t you just love that saying? I’ll say it again…it is, what it is.

I just want to add one more thing about why so many people feel like “someone” is around. The fact is, spirits are everywhere! They share the same space as us…just on a different level of consciousness (also known as realm or plane). And when conditions are right, we’re going to feel them…sense them. And of course, since they are around, it’s natural to think they are watching us.

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Memorial Day will soon be upon us. It’s a day to remember military service members who have “fallen”… transformed from physical life to their natural spiritual one! We give thought to them, we thank them for their service to our country, and we remember our loved ones whether they served in the military or not. Memorial Day has come to encompass all who flourish “over there”. There’s no better way to show honor to them than to REMEMBER them and think of them with LOVE in our hearts! That, my friends, is positive energy in motion!!

So, I’ve rambled on enough, I think! I just wanted to share some of what I’ve learned with you because it seems to be a general concern for people who visit my blog! And before I close, I do want to put it out there that I’m going to celebrate Memorial Day by putting my first book in the Tess Schafer-Medium series “Be Still, My Love” up for FREE on Amazon.com (ebook only!) from 25 May to 27 May! (UK folks can click here),

Also, to one lucky commenter on this post (who I don’t know PERSONALLY), I will send a signed physical copy of the first two books in the series (Hidden Voices is book two…UK click here if you want to check that one out)! The names of those leaving a comment and requesting they be entered in the drawing, will go in “a hat” and get shuffled around. I might even post the video to show how it “all went down”! (smile) The commenter whose name is drawn will need to give me an address to send the books to…and I promise to never use the address again! The name drawn will be announced in the blog comments under their name so if you are not tracking the comments or signed up to follow this blog, you’ll have to leave me an email address so I may notify you (send it via the “contact” page in order to keep your email private!). And again, unless you tell me to put that email address on an email list to alert you of future book deals and promotions and release dates, I won’t keep it on file. I am willing to mail to any country in which paranormal books are legal! (smile)

The reason why I want to put Be Still, My Love up for free for a couple days is because it’s the first in a series of five books (so far!) and the medium in it (Tess Schafer, the main character) is grieving over the loss of her husband. Now, he wasn’t in the military and never served…BUT, she loved him and she misses him…just as we do for all our loved ones who have crossed into spirit! It just so happens, though, that she goes on a healing vacation to a haunted resort on the coast of Maine and meets Kade Sinclair, who is a Marine. His military career ended when he was severely injured in a roadside bomb explosion that killed five of his buddies. He’s having a tough time dealing with all that and Tess helps him heal a bit (he really deals with his issues in Ghost Trouble, but that’s another story!) (UK folks can check out that book here). She also receives some healing from her own grief which is great because no one should be sad for their entire lives! Additionally, Tess shares her spiritual beliefs, many of which I too believe and discuss in various blog posts!

Given all that, I thought it was a great book for a day like Memorial Day! My twenty years in the military are forever ingrained into my heart and my thoughts and creating Kade was my way of showing honor to all the wonderful military people out there! He’s a good guy and he deserves to be happy…despite everything. No matter what.

May you all have a safe, happy, glorious and loving Memorial Day!! Blessings to all and Peace out.


Spiritualist Church AngelSince starting this blog, which mostly features posts geared toward the strange and unusual world of the paranormal…I’ve heard from people all over the world. They have shared with me and my blog readers stories of their struggles, concerns, worries and the like. I do believe that when we are dealing with negative stuff…we focus on the negative stuff (because, after all, that is what is going on and of course we are going to focus on it!) and then MORE negative crap happens (where your focus goes, so your energy flows!)

Same with ghost/spirit trouble. You have a problem with one ghost and suddenly they are everywhere! You have family problems and suddenly everyone is upset! You have money trouble and suddenly you are burdened with financial woes! One thing breaks down and suddenly everything is going kaput on you! On and on it goes.

Never are the ups and down of life so apparent as they seem to be than during the Christmas season. It’s a great holiday, representing something quite fantastic, but it’s also a depressing time of year for many. People start thinking about loved ones lost to spirit and miss their physical presence, those who can’t afford gifts for their loved ones feel the crush of disappointment over it pressing down on them, those that go through life on their own feel even more lonely when they see all the “togetherness” going on around them. It’s a great time of year and it’s the worst time of year. BUT, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. No.

To get the Christmas “spirit” flowing…you start spreading some of it! The more you spread, the more comes back to you! It does work like that (and as easily as that!) but it’s hard to get going if things are that bad. When things are going rough for me, I think back to one of the darkest periods of my life (nothing ever has gotten as bad as that ever since! Besides, the story that follows explains why I keep thinking about it).

I was going through a terrible marital breakup and for awhile I thought there was NOTHING good going on in my life. Other than the blessing of my three kids, life totally sucked. My job was a challenge because I’d switched to an area that resented my presence (I was in the military at the time and we were combining two different career fields into one…of course both career fields resented the other! I was moved to the new section and needless to say, they didn’t think I belonged there!), my boss (supervisor) was an ass…no other way to put it! He had ZERO sympathy for the heartbreaking anguish going on in my personal life. His cold responses to my emotional pain made things that much worse! My husband at the time thought a girl half his age was THE THING and though I managed to get him away from her (while offering her condolences by the way…I thought he was as deceitful to her as he was to me!), he soon found another to take her place! My kids were upset to be losing their daddy and so I had their tears to deal with as well as my own!  My finances were a MESS and … as I said, my heart broke. With Christmas rapidly approaching, things just seemed to be getting worse. How was I going to buy gifts for the kids? How was I supposed to show any happiness when I felt NONE? How was I supposed to FEED the kids, let alone find them Christmas presents?

Well, despite all my worry and misery, I prayed. And God heard (as ALWAYS!). Honestly, folks, there is POWER in PRAYER! Although I hadn’t been to church in many years, a couple that lived nearby and were good friends (he and I worked together in the military), convinced me to go to church with them. Although I’d been resisting their invitations for quite some time, one Sunday morning I was tired of moping around the house feeling sorry for myself so I called and said, “Okay. I’ll go to church with you!” Now what do you suppose the church was featuring on that day…my first time going? A six-part series on the LAW OF MONEY. I must reiterate here that my financial situation was quite bad! My kids and I were eating a lot of Ramen noodles, mac and cheese and fluffernutter sandwiches. I kept getting overdraft charges in my checking account and I barely had enough gas in the car to get to work…let alone make a trip to church! But I dressed up the kids and off to church we went. The kids thought it was a treat to get out of the house and I have to admit…I felt the same.

So, the preacher announces that he is going to be doing a six part series on the Law of Money and that it was important none of us missed the next five weeks. Interestingly enough, the church was undergoing some major renovations at the time so it might have been what prompted the “money” series but I don’t care. I felt it was God talking to me…that it was God that led me to church on that particular day and so I listened.

The first law was to give your concerns to God. Tell him what you need (though he already knows!). And to be clear here, I don’t particularly like calling God a “he” but it makes it easier to reference “him” as such so pardon the pronoun reference! So anyway, by clarifying our needs to God, we also are clarifying them to ourselves. There’s a difference between “needs” and “wants” and God WILL provide the “needs”. You have to go after the “wants” (actively seek them to achieve them). So I sat there in my pew and silently told God…”I need some money to pay my bills, buy some groceries (something besides Ramen noodles would be nice) and put gas in my car! Oh, and I need clothes for the girls because they are growing out of everything I have (they were 3 and 4 at the time) and all three of my kids need shoes!” (I took them to church in flip flops and torn sneakers!)

When it came time for the “offering”, I stared long and hard at my checkbook…which was quite pitifully low in the funds department and payday still over a week away! The preacher continued his sermon while the offering plate was passed around. “The more you give,” he says, “the more will come back to you. But give for the RIGHT reasons. Give not because you hope to receive but give because you want to help others! God will provide.” So I took that leap of faith and wrote out a check for over half the balance of my checking account! I no sooner put that check in the plate and my heart was pounding with worry! What had I just done!? Please, God, keep those needs of mine in mind over the next week or so!

As it happened, I had an appointment with a credit counseling agency the very next day. They had approved me for their program and I was meeting with them to set up their financial plan for me. BUT, when reviewing my finance sheet, they started telling me what things to cut from my costs and church donations was one of them! “God,” they said, “will understand that he can’t get a cut right now.” I told the counselor (who meant well, but obviously was quite unenlightened!) that I couldn’t do that. He then told me that I had to follow all of their plan or not be in the program. I politely declined the program and walked out of his office (much to his disbelief!). My heart was pounding because I was placing all my trust in God and though I had doubts that ALL my needs would be met (we are a very “doubting” sort of people aren’t we?), the fact is I was taking actions that showed my willingness to believe that God would provide. So, it’s okay to DOUBT…just so long as you don’t let that stop your actions of faith.

So anyway. I go home and I pour over my checkbook and there’s no money. I start crying silently, feeling sorry for myself as usual and worried about the fact that I was worried (after all, wasn’t I supposed to be trusting God?). When my son comes in and sees what’s happening, he asks what’s wrong and I tell him I’m just sad and that there is nothing for him to worry about (he was 10 at the time). So my son runs across the street to a neighbor and he tells her that his mom is crying. Over comes my dear friend Sylvia to check out the situation. I tell her that I was hoping to find some money to buy a few groceries but it seems that I am in the hole (which meant that I had written a bad check to the church!!!).

So my dear friend Sylvia sits down with me and we pour over all my bank statements (I don’t throw anything away!) and we examine my account from the last time I KNEW for certain it was balanced (which was almost a year ago!!). Another lesson learned…ALWAYS balance your checkbook on a MONTHLY basis…if not more so! And what do you suppose we discover? I made two payments on my car the previous month and there was a subtraction error as well (to my favor!). I call the car dealership handling my car loan and they say that I did indeed make two payments so I can skip this month’s payment since I’d already paid it! (honestly, I don’t know HOW I did such a thing but I’m not going to question it!). Suddenly I went from a negative balance to just over $300. That was a windfall to me.

Over the next few weeks it seemed that money just kept coming to me. A gift from my parents (for Christmas…thank God for great parents!!), a large unexpected child support payment (I didn’t see much in the way of child support assistance and since he was way behind and came into a bit of money, the state sent some of what he owed to me!!), an overpayment on some other bill from YEARS before! (Honestly! The agency…can’t remember who now…was “reviewing” my account and noticed a mistake on their behalf which resulted in me getting a refund!). On and on it went! Friends and neighbors were suddenly offering me clothes for my kids (without my asking for them or even indicating that we were in need of such things!). My dear friend Sylvia got a “buy one get one free” deal on shoes and since she had three kids that needed shoes, she got the free ones for my kids! The church gave us a food basket to enjoy for Christmas and the military also gifted us with help for the holiday!! Help was coming from everywhere!! God does indeed provide…TENFOLD!!!!!

We ended up having a decent Christmas. The kids were happy and their happiness helped heal my cracked heart. Besides, all the positive energy was really lifting my spirits and I soon came to the realization that the ending of a bad marriage is actually a GOOD thing! “They” say that when a door closes another will open and that is so true. The end of one thing just makes way for the beginning of something else (something BETTER). This is why I love the number “13”. In numerology it is considered a number of rebirth, renewal, reincarnation and the like. Basically, the number 13 marks the end of something and the beginning of another! People focus on the “ending of something” part and so think of that awesome number as bad. But I focus on the “beginning of something” part and so look at it as a positive number!

My life has gone nowhere but up since that dark period of my life. I have the BEST husband ever now. He’s been and continues to be one of the best things to ever happen to us! Money has been plentiful. I’m not rich but my NEEDS are all met and that’s huge in keeping the weight of burden off my back! Looking back…as bad as it all got and as awful as it all was…I’d go through it all again…exactly that way in order to get where I am right now!

One other thing to keep in mind as we go through the Christmas season…angels are with each and every one of us! We are never alone and they are ready and willing to help in however we need! From providing parking spots to finding things to alleviating negative situations…angels wait for our request to help! The thing about angels is you have to ASK for their assistance. They can’t just step in and do their thing without our permission. So keep them in mind and they’ll return the favor ten-fold!

To keep the spirit flowing…do you have a story to share? Has God come through for you in times of need? The angels? Let us know!!!

Wishing you ALL positive energy, many blessings and joy through Thanksgiving and on through Christmas!!!! PEACE OUT!


Spiritualist Church AngelI started this blog over a year ago because I wanted to share my paranormal experiences and connect with others of like mind. I have certainly done that! One thing I have learned quite quickly was that everyone…the world over…experiences the paranormal and are often left as I have been…curious, frightened and hoping for more answers. Many comments I get are from people who have experienced something that they don’t understand…they want answers and validation that they are not crazy. Oh how I know the feeling!

I often suggest that those needing a little more help than I can offer, should visit a Spiritualist Church. I learned about Spiritualist churches from a camper who came to stay at the campground I use to own and operate (a military retirement venture that was given up after three years of financial struggle and exhaustive work!). I knew about Temple Heights, of course, which is a Spiritualist Camp in Northport, Maine (not far from where I live) but I didn’t realize they were part of a church organization. Temple Heights is the place to go if you want to consult with a medium and I have visited them a few times … with great success. In fact, my mother was told during a “circle” we attended that she needed to take care of something going on in her stomach. At the time my mother wasn’t experiencing any problems there and so she didn’t think much of it. But when she later noticed a problem, she wanted it checked out right away because of what the medium told her. Turned out to be ovarian cancer, Stage 1, which is nearly unheard of to catch it that quick! Most of the time this fast-acting cancer is in its later stages by the time its discovered. A great success story that!

So anyway, I obviously missed all the literature about Temple Heights or I would have seen that it was part of the Spiritualist Church! So, I find out from this camper that there is a church (not a camp) in Augusta (Maine’s capitol city and quite close to where I live!). I went on line to check it out and yet it took me several months more before I finally decided to try one of their services. That was two years ago and I’ve been going ever since. In fact, I’ve become an official member! This church best suits my beliefs and I fit right in. Another feature I love about the church is their Thursday night “circles”. Now … about the circles. It is called that because we often sit in a circle when gathering together. At Temple Heights, circles are what they call sessions where a medium connects with spirit and passes on messages. They like to keep the circles small so everyone gets a message. The Thursday night circles at church cover different subjects every week. Church services as well as Thursday night circles always begin with prayer and meditation.

I often recommend that people needing help with spiritual matters should try to attend one of these church services because so many mediums attend them and often the kind of help they need is the kind of help a medium can give. The pastors for these churches are also mediums. They must all go through a certification process to prove their ability. Basically, whenever one of their mediums makes recognizable contact with a spirit, the person for whom they are reading is encouraged to fill out a testimonial saying so and that is sent to church officials who decide if it meets their strict guidelines for “proof” of spirit contact. I know this much…every medium that has given me a message has been right on, especially the pastor of the Augusta church!

The first time I attended, I wasn’t sure what to expect (by the way, the picture on the top left is from the old church building that was recently destroyed. It was on display right above the alter area and I loved looking at it during services). I thought I might feel a little out of place and awkward. But no. I did not. I was warmly welcomed at the door and then when we went through a guided meditation for the “healing portion” of the three-part service, I immediately relaxed into the calming atmosphere. The church believes that the power of healing comes from spirit (God, Infinite Intelligence!) and they offer the opportunity for healers (those who are particularly attuned to spirit and offering themselves as a conduit between spirit and the person needing healing) to pray over you. Church healers go through the same certification process as the mediums! I tell you, the benefits of this healing portion of the service can be felt right from your seat … without the added benefit of sitting in the healing chairs! The energy is that high in their services. The next part of the service involves a “message”. They prefer to call it that rather than a “sermon” for they don’t “preach” to you … they impart messages they feel moved to share. Those sharing the message of the day are also the mediums who will be conducting messages from spirit during the last portion of the service. Visiting mediums from other churches often come to share their talents and so we get to meet many wonderful people from all over!

The first time I attended church I received a message from my uncle who passed to spirit when I was fourteen. I loved him dearly and was very close to him and his passing was very hard for me. He was only 29 years young. The pastor was the one passing on the message and he got everything right. He described my uncle perfectly. He knew how and when he died, he knew that he smoked a pipe and was left handed. I was floored by this. Although I had been to many mediums before this point, none of them were as accurate or brought through someone from the other side that I quickly, easily and without mistake recognized! I KNEW my uncle was in that church with me and it was quite an emotional experience. The next visit my grandmother came through. He knew so much about her that was specific to only my nana that I knew once again that he truly was in contact with her. I have received many wonderful messages from loved ones during church services and I am so very grateful for it.

Spiritualist believe not only that life goes on after death but that we should be in contact with those in spirit as well. Thus, all the mediums to be found at their services! They believe in Jesus as well so in that respect, they are also Christian. But their doctrine is quite different from most Christian churches … mainly their focus on keeping communications open between our world and the spirit world. They don’t pass judgment on things like the Tarot cards, palm reading and the like. They welcome everyone and don’t consider gays to be a sinful lot. They accept without question those who are in same-sex marriages. They just don’t pass judgment on those things. Now, I know some of these things are very controversial but it is all a matter of faith and belief and this is a very accepting church! Their number one, golden rule? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Spiritualists are a unique group of people and I enjoy their company and their acceptance of everyone. They do not in any way condemn other churches. All are welcome to attend their services and there is no attempts to change their faith or their beliefs. There is no … believe-this-or-else kind of policy.

Several years ago I had a beloved great-uncle Norman who lost his wife, my dear aunt Tine, after 65 years of marriage! Imagine that … sixty five years! They had known each other most all their entire lives. They didn’t have any children so they went through life only with each other. When Tine died, my uncle Norman was devastated and he wanted to follow her into the afterlife. But one day some church folks knocked on his door and they saw he was quite aged, living alone and in grief. They wouldn’t leave him alone and visited him regularly. At first he enjoyed their sympathy and their company. BUT (there is always a “but” isn’t there?), they convinced him that he needed to be baptized or he was going to go to hell. That scared him for aunt Tine wasn’t baptized either and he became very worried for her soul. Especially so when they told him that since she didn’t attend church either, she really needed his prayers! Now, my aunt Tine was one of the sweetest ladies ever. She was kind to everyone and she was very loved. No freaking way would God send someone like her straight on to hell because she didn’t get baptized or go to church. But my uncle Norm was frightened by these people who told him otherwise. He wrote to me his fear of dying and his fear that his wife might be in hell. Since he was too sick to attend his scheduled baptism at church, he told me he was scared because he didn’t want to die and go to hell. Also, he wasn’t sure he had prayed enough to save his beloved Tine from that horrible fate as well. I wrote to him and I told him that so many people loved him, everyone that knew him in fact, and that he was the BEST of men. He lived a good life and God loved him way more than I did or anyone else for that matter. I told him that God loved aunt Tine more than he loved her. Would he send her to hell? NO! Well, God was much more loving and forgiving than him so why would he do something like that? “Go in peace, Uncle Norm. Go be with Tine and know that you will be happy and loved and in a beautiful place together.” I told him he had nothing at all to fear and he died the day after receiving my letter. I do not doubt for a second …in fact, I KNOW my uncle Norm and aunt Tine are together in glory with God. A Spiritualist Church would never have done that to a person. Never.

We are a race of judges. It is part of our nature to judge all things and these judgments are driven by our Egos. Most everyone passes judgments on everyone else and tries to use their bible of choice as their authority to do so. Well, I don’t buy into it. I use my own moral compass (my conscience, my soul) to determine what I think is right or wrong. I understand that others are not going to agree with me on every issue and so be it. That’s fine. We must all live our own life as we see fit. Every one of us have the right to our beliefs. One of my beliefs is that others’ beliefs should bring NO harm to anyone. All of life should be respected and treated justly. That’s not to say that evil doers should be left alone to do as they believe and conduct their evil. But that’s another whole discussion we won’t get into!

Now, I will be vocal as anyone else on passing judgments concering sins that we ALL can usually agree on … murder and stealing for example. But even in that we have disputes. Is capitol punishment murder? Is abortion murder? Is military operations that result in deaths murder? See? It’s all a matter of belief. Nothing is cut and dried. Not for me. It is for many others, though, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I am responsible for my SELF … for me. You are responsible for you. You make your choices and I make mine and if we must stand before some sort of spiritual judge someday … well, then I guess we’ll learn who was right and who was wrong then won’t we? Until that possible day, so long as I am not hindering your life in any way and causing you harm, I see no problem with me carrying on as I do.

But, back to the Spiritualist Church. They have camps … such as the one I mentioned earlier, Temple Heights, all over the country. You can locate them from the Spiritualist Church website. But one of their most famous camps here in the States is Lily Dale. It is truly a unique community. My husband and I were fortunate to stay there for a couple days a few years back and we totally enjoyed it. Many mediums make their homes there and several circles are offered throughout the day. They also hold classes covering a variety of spiritual subjects and they have many guests come in to share their unique gifts as well. The whole place has an air of peace and well being. I hope to make it back again someday. We even looked longingly at some of the homes within the community that were up for sale. What a great place to live, we thought. Who knows … maybe someday …

Anyone and everyone is welcome to visit and stay at the Spiritualist Camps. They have very reasonable rates and if you are looking for an interesting experience, you should check them out!

My advice to readers of this blog who write asking for help with paranormal issues is often a suggestion that they visit a Spiritualist Church to find a medium or people experienced in such matters. If you ever read my replies to comments asking for help with ghosts, that’s what I often tell them. It’s good advice. I take it myself.

One thing I love about this blog is all the sharing done here. So many people experience the paranormal and it can be quite frightening. Well, I hope here they can discover that it isn’t all negative and bad and evil. No. The spirit world is as much God’s world as is the physical world! We are all beings of SPIRIT, possessors of the eternal soul. May peace be with you!!!

The Secret to a Happy Life


Cover of "The Secret"

Cover of The Secret

When “The Secret” came out, I jumped on that band wagon as fast as a kitten pounces on rolling balls of yarn. The concept made sense to me and I immediately “tried” to incorporate the concepts into my daily life. The problem? My stubborn, don’t-believe-anything-unless-it’s-proven-beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt and always-expect-the-worst Ego! I don’t know about any of you but I can be very self-defeating at times! I can also be my own best friend. But that darned Ego of mine will jump in any chance it gets to ruin that friendship! It’s a constant battle…which is really age-old…you know the one I’m talking about – the “good versus evil” thing. (sigh) In fact, I think the Ego we all possess is the equivalent to “the devil on our shoulder” … the one that whispers all sorts of falsehoods and self-defeating flimflam in our ear.

Now I don’t really want to label my Ego as “evil”…because first of all, we are really quick to “label” things aren’t we? Once something gets a label then all sorts of problems start sprouting from it. Labels create … dare I say it? PROFILING! Yes. It does. Think about it…every time you paste a label on something, the description of that label defines its profile and that’s all she wrote, folks. Once a label is created, its damned near impossible to break free of it, and the opinions everyone wants to make of it. We can’t help it…our Egos make us do it (that little devil again!) and like it or not…we all must have an Ego to survive this physical, 3rd dimension world of ours.

I was in the military for twenty long-assed years. I say it that way because proud as I am of my service to our great country…it was not an easy career for me. I was in a career field that made me a big-time minority … a FEMALE in a MAN’S world (it was like 95 percent male!). How dare I, right? So anyway, my first label was “FEMALE” (not in the “she’s of the female gender” kind of female but in the “she’s a female in a career field she has no business being in and we are going to make her TRY and prove her worth over and over and yet it still won’t matter to us” sort of female). The second label (and the one that pissed me off more than the first one!) came as time went on…”Slut” (honestly I totally resent that darned word! It makes me cringe even typing it). That label came from the fact that I was often the only female in a sea of men and so the reasoning was that a good majority of those I chose to hang out with were more than likely my temporary bed partners (because men and women can’t be friends don’t-cha know). I tell you…I had it better than Casanova himself! (NOT!). The “slut” label actually came into play my second year in when I wash shipped off to Korea for a year (leaving behind my INFANT son…my first born, my pride and joy, the love of my life). My husband was sent to a different base because heaven forbid we get stationed together! There were 4 females in my unit at that base and we were all scattered to different work sections (either they tried to keep us together or they tried to keep us apart!). So we didn’t really see each other very much. I had two choices…hang out with my fellow male co-workers or spend a year in a strange foreign country all by my lonesome self. Though I like my own company, I also like to be around other people. Especially when I was over there, because when I was alone…I thought about how much I missed my baby! I soon learned through the fastest, most unrelenting, truth-has-no-purpose-here grapevine that EVERY male I was seen with was sleeping with me! Heck, I think they even had me hooked up with a couple of the girls! At first I was indignant. Then it got so ridiculous that it actually became amusing. I eventually joined in on the fun and made up some great “tall tales” of my own. I figured they shouldn’t be the only ones having fun in the story telling department. Especially as I’m a writer at heart and making up stories is my most favorite thing of all! Over time, I think I won most of them over and the slut rumors fell off…a little bit anyway. The new ones coming in had to be properly trained on this “labeling” problem and so it was ongoing (sigh).

So anyway…I’ve always been resentful of the story above and swore someday I was going to write about it! So, now that I’ve exorcised that out of my soul, I can get on with this post!  Back to the labeling thing. My tireless Ego is always labeling things for me. I play along with it until I realize it’s getting out of hand and then I put on the brakes and try to undo the damage. Another word for “labeling” is “judging”. We assign labels, we pass judgments…it’s what our Egos are supposed to do. Let me tell you…conquering this aspect of the Ego is one of the biggest challenges we face in this world!! The worst of it? When we judge and label ourselves. Most of us are way too critical and hard on our selves. I see it all the time. “I’m stupid”, “I’m weak”, “I’m clueless”, “I’m worthless”, “I’m bad”, “I’m no good”, “I can’t” and so on and so on. Those are labels we’ve placed on ourselves (and often on others as well) and those are judgments. You want to be happy in life? Stop the labeling and judging. Easier said than freaking done! In fact…very few people have accomplished it.

Point in case: I am a big “reality TV” fan. I love to watch competition shows…The Voice, American Idol, X-Factor, America’s Got Talent, The Taste, Hell’s Kitchen, Dancing With the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, America’s Best Dance Crew (just to name a few). Never am I more judgmental than when watching those shows! I’m worse than the judges. In fact, I am judging them too while I’m at it!! Yeah, it can get pretty bad. I’m always like “What?! You picked him? You like her? You’re kicking him off the show? You kept her of all people?”… it seems I am more often than not, disagreeing with the judges judgments (because of course MY judgments are right! Right?). Recently, I let myself get worked up over the process now going on with American Idol. The judges were picking the next “Idols” to compete on the show and I’m all over it with the judgments and labels. I justify it by saying as long as I’m not telling them (the contestants) how I feel to their faces, it doesn’t matter. But you know…it does! It does because it matters to ME. I am affected by my judgments. And it finally hit me upside the head that I need to STOP!

And this is where that “secret to a happy life” comes in to play. Here me out. Have you ever heard a song, saw a movie or television show, read a book or a poem, saw a picture or other works of art that you thought was AWFUL? And YET…it was a hit, worth big money, and all-the-rage? How is it do you think that those things did so well EVEN THOUGH, in your intelligent opinion they were crap…or at least “not that great and certainly not worth the fuss”? For instance…Idol loves to humiliate people (and I’m really not liking this segment any more though I used to be amused by it) by putting their “worst hopeful try-outs” on the air and in such a way that you KNOW they are making fun of them. These are the singers that most people will agree don’t really have the “Idol star factor”. BUT…one year a contestant by the name of William Hung hit the “big time” and became an overnight sensation. Not because he was the “best singer to ever compete”, no. He was actually part of the “Idol’s worst competitors” segment. And this guy who would generally not be considered a great singer was selling his songs to a public fan base that loved him! You want to know Hung’s secret to his success? He BELIEVED in himself. He truly believed he had a great talent to share and the Universe went along with it. So this is my point…it DOES NOT MATTER if you are the BEST WRITER, or the BEST SINGER, or the BEST DANCER or whatever…you don’t have to be THE BEST. You just have to BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF.

That’s the whole message behind “The Secret”. I think that’s one of the messages Jesus tried so hard to get through our thick noggins! (which isn’t our fault really because the Ego does wrap us in a thick “fog” designed to keep us from THE TRUTH!). You know that whole “Seek and ye shall find” thing mentioned in the bible? Yeah…I think it was talking about seeking TRUTH through the process of believing in our self! Once we believe we are worthy, loving souls with the power to manifest our dreams and have the life we WANT, then accept it and KNOW it…happiness can and will be achieved!

I’m at the point where I now understand that successful, happy people are those who BELIEVE they are worthy of that success and happiness. They believe in themselves…they KNOW they have something worthwhile to offer the world and the Universe is going along with it because that’s how it works. Ever met a successful, happy person who thinks they are worthless and has no talent or anything worthwhile to offer anyone? I don’t think so. And no…it’s not because THOSE people actually DO have something to offer and really are worthy while all the rest of the sad, unsuccessful people do not fall into that category. I know plenty of people with awesome talent. My daughter for instance. She has a beautiful voice. Everyone tells her so. She enjoys singing even. BUT she doesn’t have enough belief in herself to do anything with it. And another thing…she’s beautiful. Really (and she didn’t get it from me I’m sad to say…and there you see it, my own judgment being passed!). But she doesn’t think she is beautiful. And so she’s sad a lot. I pray she comes to believe in herself for the beautiful, smart, talented, loving soul that she is. I feel this way about all my kids, by the way. They are all talented, smart, beautiful and wonderful people (am I lucky or what?!!). But that doesn’t mean they don’t struggle to master the secret to a happy life. Sadly, very few of us do master it. And the ones you THINK are happy and have mastered it? They probably haven’t either. I mean…look at that beautiful country star Mindy McCready that just committed suicide a couple days ago! She had an awesome talent…a beautiful voice, she was lovely…she should have been living the good life and some people probably thought she was…and she was so miserable she killed herself. And who would have believed that “TomKat” would have split (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes)? They made a beautiful pair, they had tons of money and talent and they were so in love (remember Tom jumping on that sofa while chatting with Oprah?). So, even those who SEEM to have it made…often don’t. It’s a lesson for us all when we see these so called “beautiful people…the rich and famous…the ones who have it all” fall to sadness, divorce, addictions and suicide. Obviously there had to be a major disconnect with their beliefs…either in themselves or with others…to fall into despair or out of love!

This pretty significant epiphany came to me last week while watching American Idol and the choosing of the top twenty contestants. I didn’t agree with all the judges choices. I thought some of those chosen were the wrong choices and that some of those that were let go was a huge mistake. And then, after letting my Ego take control for awhile and getting all sorts of annoyed, my nicer side (what I like to call my consciousness which is closely connected to my soul and thus the voice of reasoning and love!) finally had enough and spoke up. I listened.

“Deb, ” I said to myself, “you have got to stop getting upset and worked-up over other peoples’ success or failure.” (the “failure” I’m talking about in this case are those not getting chosen for the top twenty on American Idol!) How it works is simple. Those that made it through…they BELIEVED in themselves. They believe they have talent and thus something to offer. And they believed it over those who said, “I can’t believe it. They just made a huge mistake!” Now when I talk about people who believe in themselves…I’m not talking about the cocky ones who walk around as if they are the greatest thing since sliced bread (not that I really get that cliché because personally, I don’t think anything is greater than homemade bread and that isn’t sliced until you need it!). The ones that love tooting their own horn to a pretty high degree are usually not as confident as they sound. More often than not, you’ll probably discover that its a front for a lack of self-esteem…and thus a lack in “belief in self”. So back to my conversation. “Deb, you need to watch and learn. Those people who made the cut that you don’t think are as great as some of those who didn’t make it…THEY believe in their talent. THAT’S what got them through!” So, instead of getting all bent out of shape about it (I can get really emotionally attached to these shows, let me tell ya!), I’m going to try hard to remind myself when my Ego starts to rear its ugly head, that I should not be judging other peoples’ successes and failures. Their life is their journey to make and I have no right to pass judgment on it. I mean…after all…I want people to support MY dreams! I do! How often do I check to see how my book sales are coming along? How often do I check to see if anyone has left a review and what they had to say if they did? Speaking of reviews…people can really show their criticism or approval in very distinct ways! I get the full spectrum…”hated it!” to “love it!”and even a few in-betweens…”It was okay” or “not bad”. Those are judgments and they are wanted/expected/prayed for judgments! (the good ones anyway!) In all honesty though…even the bad reviews are something to be proud of. I mean…I made someone care enough to get annoyed or upset or whatever and then write about it!! Think about that one. How often have you been annoyed and done nothing? Because it just didn’t matter enough to do anything. So, the fact my book mattered enough…even to leave a bad review…well, then it moved them and that’s all any of us writers can hope for!

So that’s it. The secret to a happy life. BELIEVE that you are WORTHY! KNOW that everyone has something to offer and when you put yourself out there, believing that you have something worth while to give, then the Universe (God, the Creator, Infinite Intelligence…or whatever you call it) will go along with it and respond accordingly. And yes…I KNOW it’s easier said than done. Am I mega-successful yet? Meaning, have I sold a gazillion books? No. Have I made it to the New York Times Best Seller List (my longtime dream!!)? No. Though I did make it to the #1 spot on Amazon’s Free Books List and to the #1 spot on Amazon’s “Ghosts” books!! Baby steps. I’m still learning how to master this easy-peasy secret to a happy life. But my gosh is it HARD!!

So, here’s to wishing you success in your dreams. Here’s to believing in YOU and what you have to offer! Here’s to one of God’s greatest achievements! YOU!!! I think we forget that sometimes. We were all created by God and God does not make crap!! WE might turn things into crap…but God does not!

Until next time…Peace Out and Many blessings to all of you!!


101_0452As many of you who follow my blog know, I have been fascinated with the paranormal since living in a house I am convinced, beyond doubt, was haunted. I’ve since learned a lot and encountered a lot concerning the spirit world…as have many millions of others over the years! I’ve also been fascinated with books since I learned to read. As soon as I mastered writing…as much as an eight year old can master it!…I’ve been writing stories. Mostly, though, in the early years, I made up stories in my head…constantly! Many people in my life often accused me of being absent minded or claimed I had my “head in the clouds” or was “off in la la land” when the truth of it was quite simple…I was often lost in a story. I still tell myself stories when trying to fall asleep at night or when I’ve some idle time! I often rewrite a movie scene to my own satisfaction or I’ll rewrite scenes from a book I’m currently reading. It’s in my DNA. I swear it is. How does one NOT do something they feel so compelled to do? When something takes hold of you like that…I believe it’s your calling…what you were born to do. What you were meant to share with the world!

Although I read a LOT of romances, mostly regency and historical (but not limited to), I also LOVE stories involving ghosts!! They fascinate me to no end. This fascination has led me to try many things…crystal ball gazing, scrying (which is similar but doesn’t need a crystal ball, just any sort of shiny, clear surface), automatic writing, channeling, table tipping, séances, the Ouija or Spirit Boards. Yeah, I’ve dabbled quite a bit and the more I dabble, the more fascinated I become! Life truly does go on after physical death. For some of us, though, it’s easier for us to keep the two existences separated and beyond our conscious awareness. It can be quite scary, the spirit world…the UNSEEN. But for those who approach it with a pure heart…GOOD intentions and no malice whatsoever…well, I just don’t believe there is anything to fear. NOT to say there aren’t bad things going on. Obviously evil exists. Those who turn from LOVE (or, as I think of it…GOD) and who have negative feelings involved, they are the ones who fall to evil deeds or experiences.

Many people believe that anything to do with the paranormal is evil. Hogwash. GOD is part of the paranormal world and there is nothing evil about God. Not in MY BOOK! (smile). What makes something BAD is the use/thoughts/actions behind it. Even the Christian Cross has been used for evil deeds! But, does everyone think of it as an evil thing? No! Even the controversial gun has been used for good…keeping evil at bay even as some are using it to do atrocious, vile things!

I was completely shocked, disgusted and grief stricken at what took place in that poor school a short time back. How could anyone point a gun at a child…an innocent little child…and kill them? That is evil at it’s worst. Many people question how God could let something like that happen. But that’s the thing with this world we live in…we have this agreement with God that if we come here, we are free to act out our will. It’s what the rest of us do that determines the extent of the evil committed. Often in tragedy, people come together and something positive emerges out of it. Laws change, people look at things differently, appreciate what they have, give love to the grieving. LOVE often spikes after a tragedy. THAT is God at work…always working within us in the wake of a tragic deed.

Many of us utter the “meant to comfort” words, “They are now at peace with God, an angel in heaven” and I’m sure those of us who utter those words, mean it. We do. And that’s great. It really is. Of COURSE we hare happy that our loved one is at PEACE and now lives with GOD and is an ANGEL in HEAVEN but that doesn’t ease our pain, our sense of loss…the hole left in our heart, our soul and our life! I’m a mother of three, step-mother of four and grandmother to nine and the thought of losing any one of them makes my heart cringe in dread. It’s something I don’t EVER want to experience. But the grief would be worse if I didn’t believe their soul lived on in joy with God. Those of us who believe in the afterlife cling to that belief and try, somehow, to come to grips with tragic loss.

One way to move on is to make contact with a loved one who has crossed over. I recently started watching Long Island Medium and the show makes me cry just about every time! It’s so touching to see the relief on the faces of the grieving when Theresa (the medium) shares messages from “the other side”. It wasn’t until I experienced a similar experience that I truly understood the value of that kind of communication! When my grandparents died I was totally devastated. I truly wondered how I was going to go on through my life without them. I LOVED them with my whole heart and their deaths punched serious holes in that heart! Then one day, many years later, I experienced a spiritual reunion with my Nana. It was THE MOST AMAZING experience of my life!! I FELT her in my soul. I truly did. I don’t miss them so much anymore for they visit me in dreams, and when I am thinking about them…they will often give me a sign that they hear me! For example, my grandfather’s name is Lafayette. If I am thinking about him pretty hard, I’ll suddenly see his name…either on a license plate or a street sign…or from wherever! It’s not a common name and to see it right when I’m thinking about him is just too coincidental and let me tell you…coincidences are God (the afterlife) at work!!

For a while I was doing quite a bit of automatic writing and I managed to communicate with my grandfather this way. He gave me a few messages that made no sense to me but were made clear by my mother when talking to her about it. There was no WAY I could have known the things he told me. The messages could not have come from anyone else! Both my grandparents and my dearest uncle Paul (who died when I was 14 and he was 29) have come through a medium at the Spiritualist Church that I attend! The messages and descriptions made by the medium were too specific to claim coincidence! It was THEM. I KNOW it! I can’t even tell you how comforting that is to me!!

So, this fascination with the spirit world has influenced my writing considerably. All three of my books: “Be Still, My Love“, “Hidden Voices” and “No Matter What” are paranormal stories based on living persons dealing with the afterlife. As excited as I am to share those stories with anyone interested in those type of books, it’s the messages and emails I am getting from readers that truly warms my heart! People are telling me that they are finding comfort in my stories. How wonderful is that? I LOVE that someone feels BETTER after reading my books! We writers write for many reasons…to entertain, to amuse, to scare, to teach…the list goes on. I have been thinking hard about WHY I write. First, I write because the story in my head WANTS to be told but in the back of my mind, I am hoping that the readers come away from the story with something worthwhile. I want readers to think about other options and ideas and concepts. AND, I want them to be entertained! I want to share stories because I LOVE stories myself!!

It’s a tough world and I truly find the books I read to give me some relief from it all. The romances give me romance, the mysteries give me intrigue, the humor makes me laugh and the ghost stories give me thoughts to ponder. The thing is…creativity comes from where? I believe it comes from Universal Forces (GOD!). I am moved to create what I do for a reason. There has to be a REASON why I wrote those three books and when readers write to tell me that they feel better after reading them, well, it just all becomes worthwhile and meaningful. I will admit…in all fairness and honesty…that not everyone likes my stories! Oh no! I’ve been ripped into pretty good by those who don’t like stories that mention God or spiritual views (religious matter they call it…though I try to stay away from “religion” in any specific sense). My reviews on Amazon and Goodreads are varied: from very bad to very good. Obviously I’ve moved people in positive and negative ways! (sadly!) But then, we all get something different out of the books we read (or the movies we watch!), don’t we? Sorry as I am for those people who dislike my stories, I focus on those who feel better and have gotten something positive from the experience. I do this not because the dissatisfied readers aren’t important (besides, you CAN’T please everyone no matter how much you wish that you could!). No, I focus on the positive because it is NOT my intention to upset anyone! Heavens no! So if someone dislikes my story, I’m sorry for that and wish them well in finding stories that they do like but I’m not going to stop writing! The truth is, some people are going to be negative no matter what you do and that can’t be helped. We are in a “free will” world after all!!

So anyway. I write what I do because it fascinates me. It gives me comfort. I totally enjoy it and I really love it when readers get something useful and comforting from it! With all my heart, I wish you all many blessings! Until next time, PEACE OUT!!!

May the NEW YEAR be filled with blessings! Lots and lots of them!!!

PS: All three of my books are on sale for just 99 cents until January 1st if you are curious and want to check them out! But be warned…God is very much a part of the stories, but not too much so!! I’ve no wish to “preach” anything to anyone though they do offer some different spiritual views shared by the characters!


Marriage Day

Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)

It’s the holiday season of love and all around us we are surrounded with music, joyous color and beautiful twinkling lights. Life is quite magical during this time of year because many people are focused on all that is good with the world and thinking about ways to give those they love a merry Christmas or a happy Hanukkah or whatever it is they celebrate. BUT…not everyone is full of holiday cheer. For some people this is also one of the most depressing times of year. Those who are grieving grieve more, those who are unhappy and sad are even more so. No doubt about it…the month of December amplifies feelings…good and bad.

Since I celebrate Christmas, I am not going to say “holiday” so if that offends anyone (though, truly, I fail to see any offense especially when none is meant in any way whatsoever!)…well, sorry. The option is open to not read any further. Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter your belief and what you do or do not celebrate…what truly matters is the state of your heart. Which in turn often affects the state of your life. If your heart is hurting or your life a mess…then Christmas (this particular time of year) magnifies those states to a pretty high degree. I’m sure you’ve heard the statistics declaring that suicides are high in December. If you are lonely and are unhappy with your life or missing someone you love…then you REALLY feel that when everyone around you is focused on being happy and spending time with loved ones. What if the one you WANT to spend time with is no longer here? HOW do you deal with that? What if your family has fallen apart due to divorce? MAJOR upheaval almost always results from a marital break-up…especially when children are involved. It isn’t only heartbreak to deal with but often financial disaster too. And what if you have your marriage and family in tact, aren’t missing anyone BUT you’ve lost your home, or COULD be losing it? Or you haven’t a job? OR, you do have a job but it doesn’t pay enough to cover the bills let alone Christmas!

Life is freaking tough. It is challenging and disappointing and hurtful. It is also joyous, loving, rewarding and delightful…BUT, not when you are suffering in any way.

I have been through enough heartache in my life to know what it feels like to both celebrate Christmas and all the joys that come with it…and to cry my way through it because of all the other crap life has thrown my way.  One of the worst Christmas’s for me was right after my divorce. I had three kids, they depended on me to give them the Christmas they have always enjoyed…the making of cookies, the hanging of lights, the gifts, the music…all of it. But my heart was aching and I couldn’t bring myself into feeling anything but sorrow. For them I tried to put on a happy face. But I had no money to buy them gifts, no money to buy cookie making supplies, no money to even make a Christmas dinner. I remember worrying through that Christmas with constant fear that they would not be happy on Christmas day. It’s hard to hide the tears falling like a steady rain in your heart. Thanks to my friends and family, the kids had presents under the tree and though it wasn’t what they asked for, they were happy. We were invited for dinner elsewhere so we didn’t have to worry about that either. I don’t think my children were traumatized by that Christmas as much as I was. I remember setting out the kids’ gifts that awful Christmas Eve and crying my heart out. I was not happy with my life and I had no joy in my heart. I loved my kids and was thankful for them…but they did not fill the other gaping holes gouged in my heart. They did, however, get me through that Christmas. Some people don’t even have that.

Someone I am close to is now going through what I went through that awful year and under almost the same circumstances (isn’t it weird how life can repeat itself in a family?).  He has three kids and they are about the ages that mine were when my marriage fell apart. He told me yesterday: “I need to vent a little bit if you don’t mind.” (he said it in a calm voice, an almost incredulous look on his face…a “how did I get to this” kind of look). So I give him my attention and wait for his venting to begin. He continues in a calm voice, “I have nothing in my life. I just lost my wife, two of my kids (they were his wife’s kids from a previous relationship but he thought of them as his) and my home. I have no job, about a dollar to my name and nothing to show for my life. This isn’t how I expected things to be. This isn’t where I thought I would be at this time of my life.” I KNOW how he feels and it totally sucks. Pointing out to him the positive aspects of his life doesn’t change the facts as he stated them. He has a supportive family and he has his three children whom he had to fight hard and long for during his first divorce (yes, he is now going through yet another!). Finding THE ONE…the one significant other that you can spend the rest of your life with is one of the hardest treasure hunts you’ll ever conduct!

When you are sad and hurting, everyone wants to point out all the positive things in your life to help lift you up. That’s all well and good BUT it doesn’t make you feel better. In fact, sometimes it makes you feel worse because you are feeling bad EVEN THOUGH you have those other things! Yes, I was happy to have my kids (they have been my lifeline when I was drowning in hurt) BUT my hurt was coming from the loss of my marriage and all the memories we shared together (doesn’t it suck when you can’t SHARE memories? That’s part of the joy of having them…sharing them with the person who encountered them with you). Yes, I had friends and family to help give me things that I needed…food, clothes, Christmas gifts for the kids…BUT the fact remained that I was not capable of acquiring those things myself and I was without a life partner. I was in the military during my divorce and was living in base housing so I had a house to live in and didn’t have to worry about rent and utilities. I was grateful for that. I truly was! BUT, I didn’t have enough money left after paying bills to buy decent groceries or clothes for my kids. I constantly worried about that. I was always scrounging for change, counting pennies and praying for miracles. Those miracles came…eventually and when really needed (see God, Money, Faith). I can look back on those hard times now and chalk them up as experience…a time of learning and discovery. Learning my strength, discovering my true friends and knowing that God gives us what we need when we need it.

I don’t know if you’ve read The Secret or not but I sure did and I think it’s a great concept. I also believe in its message. I ought to…I’ve had many things manifest in my life that I’ve dreamed of and wished for. BUT, until your wish or dream or need is fulfilled, you still have the sorrow and hurt to deal with! HOW to do it? WHY does life has to be so darned challenging? For all the wonderful messages being thrown out at us to BELIEVE and receive, it isn’t so easy to do that when your life is a mess and/or your heart broke.

Relationships are hard. They are what make or break our life. There are many books and lots of advice given that you must love yourself and be your own best friend and the rest of the world will fall at your feet. BUT, relationships are what makes our life tolerable, joyous, hurtful or sad. The relationships we have with family and kids certainly play a HUGE role in our lives. A momentous role. BUT…it’s the relationship we have with our significant other (our partner, our lover, our other half) that seems to be the driving force behind our happiness. I can say this because DESPITE my wonderful kids, my awesome friends, my supportive and loving family…I was not happy because my marriage fell apart and I lost my partner. Even now, when things are not well between me and my husband…none of the other stuff that is right with my life…all the wonderful family and friends that I have…is enough to make me truly happy. My joy, it seems, rides on my personal relationship with my husband.

Almost every person I know seems to be happy or not depending on the status of their personal relationship with their partner (I don’t say “spouse” here because a lot of people just live together, besides, this also pertains to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships). There are some people who don’t care about their lack of a partner or who don’t care that the one they do have is not all they wanted. That’s awesome for them. BUT, that doesn’t help the rest of us who do seem to hinge our true state of happiness on how it’s going or not going with our “significant other”. This explains how even those who seem to “have it all” (money, a wonderful career, lots of support) end up unhappy and sad…so much so that some even choose to end their life! Princess Diana always comes to mind when I think about someone who “had it all” and yet was very sad. She had some of the best life had to offer: two awesome boys, beauty, riches, love from the world at large…but she was not happy in her marriage and she suffered immensely because of it.

It would be nice if we could learn to be happy with ourselves and accept that anything beyond that is extra icing on the cake of life…but I have no answers on how to get there. Thing is, it’s hard to be happy with ourselves when we aren’t in a good relationship, or have a job we enjoy or don’t have a job at all! It’s hard to enjoy ourselves if others are giving us grief in some way. It’s hard to enjoy ourselves for many, many reasons. The fact is, life is hard. The hardest thing we’ll live through! I think it does help, though, to know that we aren’t alone in this mess. Young or old, rich or poor, we all endure the same feelings. We all want to be loved…and not just by friends and family, but by one special person. Okay…maybe not ALL of us…but I think it’s safe to say that a good majority of the world population wants that.

There’s no answer on how to make this part of our life easier or to make it go more smoothly but it DOES help to know that we aren’t alone. Being alone is the worst thing ever. Aside from those we have in our life…we also have many watching over us in the afterlife. Now, some of you won’t believe that and those that don’t probably don’t read my blogs! But, if you are following my blog, then you probably share SOME of my beliefs and one of them is in God. I also believe strongly in angels…be they Guardian Angels or Spirit Guides or just loved ones who have passed on but keep a loving “eye” on us! (in fact, it was these beliefs that inspired me to write Be Still, My Love!) My life started turning around from abject misery when I began reading material about angels and learning more about them. My life got better…and eventually I did meet my true Soul Mate!! It was my belief in angels, though, that helped my heart to heal…because I knew…just KNEW life could only get better having them on my side. You have to consciously reach out to them though. They can’t just interfere with our life…we must ask to receive their help. It’s just one of those universal laws. That’s why the “ask and you shall receive” thing is such a POWERFUL statement! Asking from the HEART is one of the fastest ways to achieve our wants! Asking out of greed, anger, jealousy and any other negative emotion does NOT bring about what we want. It’s the love in our hearts…be they broken or not…that heals all wounds. Every last one of them!! So, if you are hurting…seek love wherever you can get it…family, church, organizations…and GIVE love back. It will change your life for the better. And that’s my message today.

When I say “Many blessings to you”, I truly mean it from my heart…I am asking the angels (and thus GOD!) to bless your life many, many times over. So, as we go through this challenging month of December…I wish you many blessings and much joy. I wish for you to discover the awesomeness of the angels and KNOW you are not alone…ever. Until next time…Peace Out!!!


On  the left you see a picture of my next book cover! Just looking at it sends chills down my spine. The story behind that cover is even more spine-tingling!

We will soon enter the glorious month of October and with that, our focus often shifts to all things supernatural, paranormal, macabre and Gothic. This story has it all. I’m pretty proud of it but more than that, it intrigues me every single time I read it. And believe me, as its author, I’ve read it about fifty times…and that’s no joke! I am constantly tweaking it, editing it, clarifying it. But soon, SOON I will be done with that process and I will send it out into the world.

The main premise of the story is based on reincarnation. I got the idea when I read about a group of people who lived in the same small town and discovered they shared a “past life” experience. This discovery was done through a particular field of hypnosis better known as “past life regression”. Through the process of hypnosis, many people are able to dredge up recollections of their past lives. This is possible because hypnosis puts the conscious mind at rest, allowing the subconscious mind to recall the memory. Because we can’t have our past lives interfering with our present one, those memories are buried in the nether regions of your memory banks. I believe those nether regions are within your very Soul…that part of you that knows all there is to know about YOU.

Many believe (as do I) that we have several layers to our individual existence. We have our physical body, our astral body (similar to the physical body but without physical substance…also called the Spirit body), and our Soul body (the true essence of who we really are). All memories of every experience we have, to include our past lives, reside within the Soul body (which resides deep within our subconscious). Another great aspect of our Soul body is that it never loses its connection to the spiritual realm. In fact, the Soul exists in the Spirit Realm and in the Physical one at the same time!

I also believe we are multi-dimensional and are much more complex than anything we can possibly imagine. Unfortunately, we are limited not only by our way of thinking and what we believe but also in what we can imagine. These limitations are placed on us by our own Ego (they CAN be overruled however…just so you know). Speaking of our Ego, it is one of the biggest obstacles we must learn to overcome in order to end our reincarnation cycle (I like to believe that we eventually move on to other activities). It is a major part of our Personality, the person we are when inhabiting a physical body. The Ego is what I consider a necessary evil. We need it to help us function  within the confines of physical existence. In order to do this…live in the physical world and not long for our life in the Spiritual Realm…we are enshrouded with an Ego at birth. During the enshrouding, we forget much of what our Soul self knows. Our personality develops from this Ego and we become who we are as we grow and learn and discover. Basically, we spend the rest of our lives dealing with a very stubborn, very restrictive Ego bondage. And quite honestly, seeking the truth will set you free from it!

Meditation is one way to calm the Ego (which strongly controls the conscious mind) and set it aside. Meditation lulls the Ego into a relaxed state (sort of like a “sleep”). With the Ego out of the way and not in control, you can gain access to your Soul body and thus the memories contained there! In fact, you can even get access to the spiritual realm. Deep prayer is also a form of meditation and that’s why it works. Prayer is focused thought (like meditation) and offers a powerful connection to our Soul which gives us access to the higher echelons of the spiritual realm where limitless power is available. For it is there…in the highest spiritual realms…where infinite power exists.

I do believe there are dark places within the spiritual realms where spirits (Astral bodies) roam in confusion and where dark (evil) intentions take root and grow. These are the lower realms of the Spiritual world and it is there where you find what we call “spirits” (people who are in their Astral body unable, for whatever reason, to move on). My belief is that when our physical body dies, our Astral body separates from it. Now, the Astral body should carry you off to wherever it is you need to go to merge with your Soul (many people probably think of this place as Heaven). BUT, sometimes people don’t move on and merge with their souls. They get stuck in the lower parts of the Spiritual Realm, and what can be really bad about this is that part of their Ego (which isn’t always good) may still be influencing them! The ones who cannot see the light of God (where our Soul resides and where the merger with it takes place) are considered lost souls (though really they are Astral bodies existing in ignorance, negativity and confusion!). Many people think these lost souls are evil. Some are not good, that’s for sure, but some of them are! This is the “place” (sphere of existence) where ghosts dwell. Many people think only evil can exist in the lower realms. But the fact remains they (the evil doers) have a Soul which exists in the higher realms. That’s what I believe anyway. God (spiritualists prefer to call “him Infinite Intelligence) does not create evil Soul bodies and since everyone has a Soul, then none of them, not a single one, are evil. So, the spirits roaming the lower Spiritual regions, they may be bad because of their Egos but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth saving.

God, the great II (Infinite Intelligence), does not interfere with the choices we make (Free Will and all that) unless we ASK for help. Thus we get one of the greatest of all sayings, “ASK and you shall RECEIVE”. BUT (there’s always a “but” isn’t there?) the REST of that statement should be…”Through BELIEF it WILL be done!”

In my two paranormal mystery books BE STILL, MY LOVE and its sequel HIDDEN VOICES, my lead character Tess Schafer, a medium, believes that the Lord’s Prayer is quite powerful and she begins spiritual-contact scenarios (séances for instance) by saying this prayer. The real kicker about this powerful prayer is “Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven”. I mentioned earlier that infinite power resides within the higher spiritual realms (the lower realms are where Astral bodies reside until they go “to the light” and merge with their soul). The spiritual realm in this prayer is “the Kingdom”. When you ASK for something (your WILL  is being made known, “Thy Will be done”), the power of the Kingdom can then be used within the physical realm (Earth) as it is in Heaven (the Kingdom). Pretty cool, huh? I think it’s such an important message that I’ve also included it in NO MATTER WHAT. One of my main characters, Frannie, mentions it when discussing her beliefs (she’s into reincarnation and numerology among other things!).

I believe hauntings occur when a person crosses over (from physical to spiritual existence) and doesn’t “go into the light” (consciously merge with their Soul body). For whatever reason, they remain in their Astral body which is still influenced to a degree by the Ego. The thing about the Astral body is that it can interact with the Physical Realm (thus we have a haunting or contact with “the dead”, depending on the interaction taking place).

In NO MATTER WHAT, Lynn Michaels is the reincarnation of Clara Mallory. Clara haunts the Mallory Estate (where Lynn now lives and where Clara died) because her Astral body is trapped there. She is afraid to move on. Fear is one of the main issues we all must learn to conquer. Our Ego wraps fears around us in many clinging, persistent layers! Conquering fear will release us from the reincarnation cycle. We won’t have to endure life after life getting it all figured out once we do just that…figure it all out. And before you ask, NO, I don’t know what “it all” consists of. I know fear is part of it but it’s more than that. Or maybe it isn’t. See? Told you I didn’t know!

A couple of my “beta readers” (test readers who read my stories before I release them into the public forum) asked me how it was possible for Lynn to be the reincarnation of Clara if Clara still existed. Well, thats where the multi-dimensional part comes into play and the fact that the past, the present and the future actually coexist at the same time. Once something exists, it always exists and thus can be visited many times…time travel works using this premise. Psychics and Sensitives also work within this premise. Some people are born with a special ability (known as Psychic Ability) to recall events either forward or backward in time. Another important aspect of the Spiritual Realm is that there is no space…no distance. Thus, psychics and sensitives can “see” across the globe as easily as they can see right in front of their faces (this is also called Remote Viewing)!

Edgar Cayce had this ability. He was truly amazing. I think Cayce had pretty much learned what he needed to learn by the time he was born into his Edgar Cayce personality. His purpose for coming back to yet another physical life was to help others in their life journey. Every life lived should teach us something, for our Souls are on a mission to learn and experience! Some people are so committed to helping the “blind” (Ego led peeps whose minds are closed to Spiritual matters!) they come back (reincarnate) just to help them. Jesus did that. Lynn does that for herself. She comes back to help release Clara from the bonds of her fear. Is that a cool concept or what! The story just hit me in a flash one night and I tell you, I couldn’t write it down fast enough!

So, now that I’ve rambled on far more than I planned, I’ll just leave it at this for the time being. I’ll be writing more about the different aspects of the NO MATTER WHAT story as time goes on. So, what do you think of the cover? What do you think about when you see the picture? What feelings does it invoke? I really, truly want to know! So, pretty please comment and tell me. Thanks so much!!

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!

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