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Tag Archive: Automatic writing



NDEI recently watched this video clip on Youtube that was posted in the blog Theosophy Watch and it really got me to thinking about the death experience and our reason for being here. I don’t know about you but I truly believe we live on after experiencing physical death. Our true essence is our “spirit” (our soul) and the soul cannot die. It’s been scientifically proven that we are beings of energy and energy cannot be destroyed. So there you have it!

Another thing is all the experiences countless millions (over the many years since humans walked the earth) have had involving ghosts, angels, near death experiences (NDEs), profound dreams, amazing spiritual phenomena, spirit contact, out of body experiences and so on. How can any of us say with certainty that dead is dead and that’s it? Honestly, the evidence stacked against that belief is too numerous to dismiss.

As for myself, I’ve experienced way too many of the above mentioned things to not believe in life after death. The one thing that has ever really bothered me most about “death” is those that happened violently. I just feel so awful for those people…imagining the horror and pain they must have endured before the relief of death. I would like to believe that even for them…the death experience was as peaceful as those who experienced a NDE have claimed it to be! Many spirits have claimed that their death wasn’t as bad for them as it seemed to us (the living). I guess we could liken it to the pain of childbirth (something I have experienced three times…without pain-killing drugs or epidurals!). As bad as the pain is…once the baby is out in the world, the pain is gone and all is forgotten. In fact, most of us (me!) were ready to do it again! I’d like to believe that even violent, painful deaths are like that. The memory like a bad dream that quickly fades into obscurity. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the spirit leaves the body when the trauma becomes too bad to endure and so they don’t really experience the worst of it. It’s a nice thought.

As for the video. It seems in all NDEs, the person wanting to cross over is told it isn’t time and that they must come back. So this tells me that those who didn’t come back…CHOSE to stay “over there”. It was their time and they were ready to move on (whether their loved ones left behind like it or not, unfortunately!). My grandfather suffered a stroke and was in a coma for several days before it was decided to remove him from life support. I really believe Grampy WANTED to move on but there we all were (his eight kids and numerous grandkids…me included!) begging him to hold on. Even though the doctors claimed he was “brain dead” it was a tough decision to “pull the plug”. The worry is always there if they did the right thing. Well, I managed to contact my grandfather through the process of automatic writing (scoff if you want but it really works and is an excellent form of communication with the other side!!). Now, I didn’t know anything about Grampy being removed from life support. I was in the military at the time and had already returned to my base when that decision was made. The family decided not to tell me how “it all went down” because my mom knew I’d be mad and she didn’t want me to be upset with her (she signed the order giving permission for the hospital to do the deed). First thing my Grampy did was tell me to let my mom know they had made the right decision. He said it was what he wanted but they wouldn’t let him go and he felt guilty about wanting to move on. (When they let the hospital remove him from life support, he saw that as his family giving him permission to do what he wanted. And he went. Happily.) There was more to the message and none of it made sense to me. In fact, I didn’t even want to tell my mother about it because I thought it would upset her. But she wheedled it out of me and when she got upset, I said, “See? I told you you wouldn’t like it!” and she said, “But I do. It’s exactly what I needed to hear!” Now my Nana (she died 3 months after Grampy)…she went the way I want to go. She died in her sleep and I am sure it was a very peaceful process for her. Much as I hated to lose them (it devastated me!), I only want what makes them happy and they are happy “over there”. Besides, they visit me often, they keeps tabs on the family and I feel their love every time I think about them. In spirit there is no separation.

So anyway, I went to read the Theosophy Watch blog and watched this video and I thought it a great topic for my own blog so I’ve reposted the video here. Though it is one woman’s “death” experience and sounds like so many other accounts of NDEs…going through a tunnel, seeing a light, being greeted…it also had a little something new that I found intriguing. She was told to come back and be a “light” in the world. She says that those (who are open to the spirit world) act as anchors for the “light” (God?) to come into our physical world. I found that quite interesting. She sounds like such a nice lady. Her voice is peaceful and you know she isn’t making it up. She just isn’t. It’s a little over five minutes and well worth the watch! Check it out.

So what do you think? She certainly doesn’t make death sound terrible and even though she was going through a horrific thing (her husband was choking her to death), she made no mention of that. None of it mattered. Amazing.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this! Until next time…Blessings to all and Peace Out!

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Since I am interested in the paranormal and write in the paranormal genre, I thought I’d share the books and movies that have had the most influence on my beliefs and my writing. Why? Because sharing the things that have influenced me in this field might be of interest to others who are curious-about or are interested-in paranormal subject matter. More and more people are becoming fascinated with this mysterious supernatural element of our lives. And why not? Someday we will be a paranormal entity ourselves when we transition over to “the other side” of life. Since it’s a place (more like a state-of-being) we are all headed, I figure the interest is quite warranted!
Now, those of you who have read my blogs know that I used to live in a haunted house. I moved into it when I was seven and moved out of it when I was fourteen. Although quite a bit of paranormal activity occurred in the house, other things have happened throughout my life to convince me that there really, truly, without doubt IS a life for us after physical death. So, obviously one of my earliest influences was the haunted house experience. Apart from reading any and all non-fiction books I could get my hands on (Linda Goodman‘s books and anything dealing with Edgar Cayce being two of my favorite), I’ve also been influenced by FICTION books and movies. Now, the thing about fiction is…the stories had to come from somewhere, right? Sure, sure…the imagination but what influences that? Where do those ideas actually come from? A connection to the spiritual world maybe? There is truth in fiction and fiction in truth. So with that, I’ll get on with it.

My first exposure to the paranormal was probably the soap opera Dark Shadows. I was pretty young at the time but I remember it well enough. At least, I remember that although I didn’t always understand the adult nuances of the show, I understood the spooky stuff well enough to be scared (yet fascinated enough that I couldn’t NOT watch it!). An interesting aside here…Dark Shadows is purported to have been influenced by my hometown! Truly! I lived in Bucksport until the age of seven (when we moved into that haunted house in the next town over) and Bucksport is the influence for Collinsport (the fictional town in Dark Shadows…in fact, Bucksport was often mentioned in the soap!). Why? Probably, because its town founder, Jonathan Buck, was supposedly cursed by a witch he was rumored to have put to death! In fact, this legend influenced my writing Hidden Voices which was published in paperback on the 23rd of August 2012 and in ebook today (24 August 2012)! Bucksport has a few other spooky mysteries as well and I’m hoping to explore those a bit more with my Tess Scafer-Medium book series!

One of the first books I can remember reading that truly started influencing my beliefs was The Amityville Horror. I read the book and saw the movie and both of them scared me to freakin death! I think what really added the scare element was the fact it was supposed to be based on a true story. The part where the little kid sees red eyes in the window truly got to me because my family and I experienced a similar event in our haunted old house! (see Living With Ghosts Part II for the “red eyes” story). Now I have to tell ya, I think a lot of the stuff depicted in the book was a little far-fetched and the movie even more so, but I’ve no doubt that SOME of those paranormal instances occurred and it’s those parts that scared the crap out of me! It didn’t matter that I didn’t know which elements to believe or not, the fact is…SOME of that scary crap might have happened and that was enough.

Another book that had a lot of influence over me was The Shining by Stephen King. Now, I grew up in Maine about a half hour’s drive from where Stephen King lived and because he is the King of Horror and Maine’s most known celebrity, I was naturally interested in anything the man wrote. But The Shining really grabbed my attention and activated my imagination on many levels. I mean, really. Here’s a book about a haunted hotel (hmmm…sort of like the haunted resort in my first book Be Still, My Love!) and lots of scary, ghostly crap happened there (just like in that haunted house I lived in!). Now, the horror part of it…you know where Jack goes berserk and tries to kill his family…that sort of stuff I don’t like. Horror, per se, does not interest me. I can’t handle all the blood and gore. I am attracted to spooky, scary…and that’s IT. Despite that, I couldn’t put the book down and I honestly felt sometimes that reading the darned thing was attracting spirits to me!  And speaking of that…I think the more we think about this stuff, the more it DOES attract otherworldly occurrences! So, if you get a chill while reading this or suddenly feel someone standing behind you…well, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Another book that really got me going was Audry Rose (it was also made into a movie and actually stayed pretty true to the book). Man oh man! Suddenly I’m thinking about reincarnation and wondering how that fits into our lives and then I’m having weird dreams that seem too real to be dreams. After reading that book, I started wondering if I was actually dreaming about my past lives! Seriously, Audrey Rose totally influenced my writing No Matter What about a little girl (Clara) killed for witchcraft and whose spirit becomes trapped in our world. To save her lost soul, her spirit is reincarnated into another little girl who ends up moving into the house and befriending her (synchronicity of the universe at work on that one!). Compounding Clara’s problem (and her fears) is the fact that those who killed her have reincarnated as well! One way or another they all become mixed up with each other. I totally found the whole evolution of that book fascinating…how all the characters’ present lives were affected by their past lives and what they needed to do to get over it. That book will be out in October and I can’t wait to share it with you!

When The Entity came out, I was just starting my military career. I went to see the movie while attending technical training school (in Colorado which is where I’d wanted to go ever since seeing The Shining!) and it fired up all the stuff I’d been interested in and experimented with before entering the military.

Busy and fully engaged as I was with my military life, I had to let my paranormal interests drift off to the wayside for awhile. The never-ending itch to write, however, was strong within me and I continued to start story after story (never finishing a darned thing!). Then I saw the movie “The Changling“. Wow. That one really got me going! Talk about a spooky, haunted old house and scary crap happening! That one made me think about Automatic Writing (which was done in the movie) and I even dabbled with it for awhile with great success mind you. Really, if you like a good ghostly movie, this one is pretty good and should fit the bill.

Of course it goes without saying that Poltergeist fired up my imagination. I thought the movie was pretty good until it got crazy…you know, with the creature thing coming out of the closet and all that. What really worked in that movie was the creepy stuff that happened before all the horror crap took over. Honestly, what is creepier than a jester doll sitting in a chair staring at you, then suddenly its NOT in the chair anymore! Nothing used to scare me more than thinking something was under my bed! Seriously, I just got the willies thinking about it.

When The Sixth Sense came out, I really got fired up (again). By some odd coincidence (which I believe is actually the universe working in synchronistic brilliance), my old notebook that contained the No Matter What story (begun when I was 17) was laying on my bed when I came home from work one afternoon (it was around the same time I saw this movie so I was primed to write again). I took it as a sign that I needed to finish that story and a dear friend of mine at the time, Teresa, totally encouraged me to do it. I bounced my ideas off her and she was so enthusiastic and supportive of the story that I kept going with it. She died while I was pitching it around to various literary agents. Breast cancer is a real bitch. Now, thanks to the advent of the glorious ereader, I’m going to publish the book myself and dedicate it to my dear friend now residing in spirit. What I totally loved about The Sixth Sense was the fact it was a great ghost story! No one died (other than all the spirits haunting that poor kid of course) and it didn’t get crazy toward the end either. In fact, the ending blew me away and I had to go back to watch it again. You know…I went to see that movie with Teresa and it scared the crap out of her. I think my arm took a few days to recover from all the clutching she did! (smile) Gosh I miss her.

Another movie that got me thinking was Defending Your Life and even though this isn’t a ghost story and it isn’t creepy, spooky in any way, it deals with the afterlife and I found it interesting. Certainly I think this movie has influenced my thinking on what might happen after we experience physical death. Another movie along these lines is What Dreams May Come. That one, too, deals with life after death and reincarnation. I was quite intrigued with that movie. And since I’m on this particular kick, Only You, oddly enough, got me to thinking about just how important coincidences are! In that story a girl named Faith is playing around on the Ouija board with her brother and she asks it who she’s destined to marry. Her brother, bored with the game, manipulates the planchette to spell out Damon Bradley. Not long after that, she goes to see a psychic and asks the same question … who is her soul mate? Now, her brother, not wanting to waste time dealing with silly psychics, pays the woman to give his sister the same name he gave her on the Ouija board. Convinced now that she must marry a man named Damon Bradley, Faith waits for him to show up in her life. A few years later, she gives up on this dream and settles for someone else. But, on the eve of her wedding, a man calls to leave a message for her fiance and his name is none other than Damon Bradley! She sets off to find him (in Italy which is where I was living when I saw the movie!) and so the story goes. The fact is…the name was made up and yet it is Damon Bradley who helps her find her soul mate. This movie really made me think about how all things affect each other. And I can’t not mention Frequency when discussing fate! This is a great movie. A son contacts his dead father on an old ham radio by connecting to him from 30 years earlier and ends up changing his entire life! That movie truly is a powerful story in my humble opinion. I marvel at the person who thought it up (or perhaps channeled it from spirit?).

I was editing No Matter What (again) when I watched The Others and that movie just helped me focus more on my own story. Why? Because it so intrigued me I wanted to write a story that would do the same thing…intrigue people! I just knew I was on the right track with my book after watching that movie. Also, I looked into the Spiritualist church right after seeing it and so I guess you could say it had a pretty strong impact on my life by pointing me in that direction. The movie got me to thinking about that stuff (ghosts, life after death) and when talking to someone about it (I was running a campground at the time and was chatting with a camper), she told me I should check out the Spiritualist church in Augusta (Maine’s capitol and not far from where I live!). I did so, had my grandmother come through (they do readings from spirit during the last portion of their service) and she told me to get going on my book. So I did!

Of course many other books and movies have added to my paranormal influence, but these are the ones that stick out the most. What about you? What books or movies have you read/watched that influence your thoughts on the paranormal? I’m always up for a good spooky read or a good scare-your-socks off movie!

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!


I’ve been interested in the paranormal since I was a little girl. Living in a haunted house will do that to you. Weird stuff happens and once you get over the terror of it, you begin to look for understanding. Here’s the thing…I KNOW that house was haunted. Ghosts lived there with us and the older I got, the more I wanted to know WHY. After we moved out of that house, I continued to read up on things but my paranormal experiences sort of cooled off for a bit. My prophetic dreams stopped occurring and though we had a few bizarre events happen in our new house (sink faucet coming on full blast, burners on the gas stove spontaneously lighting, a blender suddenly springing into action), things were relatively quiet. I was mostly involved with reading palms at this point and studying up on how such a thing could be so darned accurate! Ever had your palms read…by a LEGITIMATE palm reader? You should. Your palm is like your personal memoir. Fascinating stuff.

So anyway, life chilled for a bit on the paranormal end but then I joined the Air Force and was sent to Korea for a year. I had to leave my infant son (my first born!) and that was tough. Let me tell you, it was rip-your-heart-0ut TOUGH. I did a lot of drinking when I first got there. Thought it would get my mind off my baby. It didn’t of course. In fact, it made things worse. Then one night I started telling some friends about my living in a haunted house and they wanted to know it all. When I got to the parts about using the Ouija board, they got the bright idea that we should do that. And so my paranormal experiences began to happen again. We had some really interesting conversations on that Ouija. Let me tell you. Now, I know people will say that it’s evil and all that and I suppose it can be. After all, the Ouija opens a door to the other side. One must be responsible when opening doors like that! Unfortunately, not many people take the necessary precautions to ensure no negative entities come through. I’ve always been careful and can proudly say that I’ve not had any negative experiences with the Ouija. It honestly is one of the EASIEST forms of spirit contact. Maybe because people treat it like a game and so they let their guards down, lower their defenses and relaxes the all-protective EGO. When you truly ALLOW spirit contact to happen…it will.

After my year in Korea was over, I reunited with my son…now 18 months old, walking, talking … doing all those things he wasn’t doing when I left him (he stayed with my parents for the year I was away for his dad went to Korea the same time as I did). Upon my return to the States, my husband and I initiated divorce proceedings (they had a saying in Korea that those stationed over there would come back single if they were married, married if they were single and if neither of those applied then they probably became alcoholics … and yes, there were a few exceptions to this rule, I wasn’t one of them).  For awhile it was just me and my son and it was wonderful to reconnect with him. I thought he was pretty fascinating. He talked very well for his age and so we could actually have conversations. One day he comes to me (he’s not yet two remember) and says, “Mommy, where is my wife? I miss her.” And so began a bizarre period of time where my son was obsessed about his life “as a man” and death. One night while tucking him into bed, he looked so very sad and I asked him what was wrong. He says, “I don’t want to die again. I don’t like it.” Can you imagine how I felt during conversations like this? He was only two. What to say? For the next three years, my son continued to talk about things that happened to him “when he was a man”.  When he was four, he started talking about his time in the military as a pilot in the Korean war! Now, I ask you…what would he know about such things? I did not watch war movies and neither did he. We were living in Germany by this time and didn’t even have television! So, because of that, I began to read up on reincarnation. The whole subject totally fascinated me and still does. I even wrote a book in which reincarnation plays a big role (No Matter What which I hope to have published in ebook by October!! Just in time for Halloween!)

My son was three when I remarried and I was pregnant with my second child when we arrived in Germany. My paranormal endeavors went on another hiatus. We came back to the States with three kids…two daughters were born while I was stationed in Germany. As it happened, I went through yet another marriage break-up (do you know how high the divorce rate is with military members!? It’s a tough life). This break-up really devastated me. My first divorce was quite friendly. We didn’t fight, we just didn’t suit as a couple. But my second one…boy, it brought me down to my lowest points. When your life is falling apart, you can cry about it (which I did in excess!) or you can try to pull yourself together and get on with it. This I did eventually do but I went through quite the spiritual reformation while doing it. I needed to know WHY things happened the way they did. I needed to understand why my life was so messed up! Divorce can really damage your sense of self-worth and totally ruin your self-esteem (not to mention the financial devastation which is another whole set of worries!). I hit a critical low period in my life and turned to God for help. I began studying about angels (they are so awesome!!) and I began to truly believe that God takes care of us if we let him. When we try to control things ourselves without God’s help, well, that’s when things go awry. Little miracles began to happen (I’ve blogged about some of it, see God, Money, Faith) My belief factor went up and things got better and better. It was during this time that I discovered Automatic Writing.

Automatic Writing is allowing spirit to speak to you through hand writing. You can also allow them to come through on the keyboard. It’s basically a form of channeling. As I didn’t have a keyboard at the time (home computers hadn’t put in an appearance much at this point), I used a notepad and a pencil. I meditated (another thing I was learning to do!) and then I started writing! Many spirits came through and brought messages that were helpful. I moved from Automatic Writing to channeling a beautiful spirit I called Sheila (yes, I use her in my book Be Still, My Love and in its sequel Hidden Voices which will be out soon!). I didn’t use a pen and paper with her, I just allowed her to speak through me. I was remarried by this time and my new husband was quite involved with this process. We were both fascinated by Sheila and the things she told us. I had some really amazing experiences with her. Now, I have to tell you that I often questioned these experiences and wondered if it were all coming from my imagination. But I also have to tell you that while Sheila was speaking, I was thinking all sorts of things…ever try to talk and say one thing while having a completely different conversation go on in your head at the same time? This happened quite a bit because I often speculated on the things Sheila shared. Half the time I missed what she was saying because I was busying trying to counter something else she’d said! (we taped every session so I wouldn’t miss out on anything). It was an eye-opening experience and all of it was getting me more and more involved in the world of the paranormal.

Then this marriage went really bad. I can’t say what happened, it’s all so very personal but I will say that I didn’t really know the man I married. Looking back on it, I don’t regret a thing, no matter how bad it got, because it has all led me to where I am now and I like where I am. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Though I wish my kids hadn’t had to go through all that crap too. Life lessons are HARD! For awhile I was mad at God and even the poor angels. I couldn’t understand  how they would let things get so bad. After all the prophetic dreams, all the channeling work, the messages from spirit…WHY did this crap have to happen? Once that marriage ended, my life began to really turn around. It’s been all up hill from there, I’m happy to report! I found the man of my dreams and he’s very understanding about my paranormal interests. He’s also very supportive of my writing and he’s been the BEST father to our kids.

They say that the third time is the charm…for me it took four. But what a CHARM it is! When I started work again on my paranormal thriller “No Matter What”, I began to get more involved with the paranormal world.  Although I had dabbled some with the Tarot cards, I didn’t really get involved with them until I started work on this story. One of my characters was a Tarot reader and I wanted to understand more about it (so my character would sound legitimate) and suddenly I became fascinated with them. They really are quite amazing. I also began to study Numerology (another thing the character in my story liked to do!). Again…the way these things work in our lives is truly amazing!!

When our military careers came to a close (my husband did 28 years and I did 20) and we retired, I figured I’d have more time to write. Not so. We got busy running a small campground which we thought would make a great retirement plan and I found myself too busy to write. But, I did continue with the Tarot cards, palm reading and Numerology studies! When we finally decided to close the campground (it’s a tough world when it comes to running your own business!!!), I found myself having more time to write. I began to edit No Matter What and then I found the Spiritualist church! When family members who have passed on into the great hereafter came through during the “messages from spirit” part of the service, I knew this was the church for me. I signed up for their mediumship class, went on ghost hunting adventures and learned about table tipping! This is yet another form of spirit contact. You simply put your hands flat on the top of a table (must be evenly proportioned…round or square) and invite spirits to come through and and talk to you by “tipping the table”. What fun we’ve had with this!! Table tipping is truly an adventure in the paranormal. We’ve gotten the table to spin, walk or slide across the floor, tip nearly to the floor (without falling!) and rock back and forth. A few times we’ve had the table tip up (usually onto two legs) and then stay there. No matter how hard we tried to get it to fall back onto its legs, we couldn’t do it! Truly…is that fascinating or what?

I’ve had tons of experiences, too many to mention, and they have all led me to the interests I now have. These interests come through in my writing. People write to me and ask me if I am Tess Schafer (the main character of Be Still, My Love) and I guess I have to say yes, to some degree. She has a lot of me in her. But she’s better! A better medium anyway. I love to make up stories. It’s natural to make up stories that involve things that interest me. The paranormal has interested me most of my life and that is why I write about it. I also love to read about it! What about you? Do you like to read about the paranormal? Why? Do you write about it? Share with us your books if you do! Share your stories or your blogs. The people who come to this blog do so because of the paranormal content (right?) so if you’ve something to share, please do!!

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!


I blog a lot about the paranormal because the afterlife fascinates me.  I do not doubt that once our bodies have expired, our souls live on.  I KNOW this to be true.   Although I find that quite comforting, it doesn’t stop me from missing loved ones (to include animals!) who have crossed into the “great beyond” (which is really just a different level of consciousness!).  My first brushes with death were the loss of pets (I still miss them all and some have been gone for many, many years!).  Their deaths were quite devastating to my young life.  And then when I was fourteen, I lost a family member that I loved very much — my wonderful Uncle Paul.  He was the BEST!  Paul was one of those people who was a shining light in the world.  His presence was always uplifting.  I admired him so much and I thought he was one of the best people ever.  Then, at the young age of 29, he died…struck down suddenly by a brain aneurysm.  What a shocking blow to my world.

At the time of his death, I was living in the haunted house I’ve blogged about many times.  So, I knew that our spirit … our soul … lived on but that didn’t stop me from being incredibly sad to lose my dear uncle.  I wanted his physical presence in my life and besides, I wasn’t sure how to communicate with those on the other side at that point in my life.  Truth be told, I was quite afraid of it.  That’s because at least one of the entities sharing our home with us was not a nice one.  No.  But this isn’t about that.

Although I had dabbled with the Ouija board, it wasn’t until many years later that I truly began to explore making contact with “the other side” or as I call it in my book “Be Still, My Love”…the Tri-State, that place between earthly life, heaven and hell.  A place where souls can hang out and communicate with us!  I found this to be a relatively easy thing to do through the means of automatic writing.  For those who don’t know what that is, it is when you use paper and a pen and invite those in spirit to speak to you through written messages.  When it’s actually happening, your hand will just start moving…seemingly without any effort from you!…and message will come through.  It’s as easy to do (for me anyway) as the Ouija board (which has a lot of negative press but that’s because it is too easy a tool to use and people don’t take it seriously enough to operate it properly!).  When I first started doing automatic writing, I managed to contact my grandparents (two of my most favorite people ever!).  It was really nice to connect with them again and have some closure (I was in the military when they died and didn’t even get to attend their funerals).  I know it was them I made contact with and I don’t care what anyone else says about it.  I know my Nana and Grampy and I FELT them, their spirit, their love, when communicating with them.

It wasn’t until a few years ago, however, that I finally got a message from my dear uncle Paul!  It was during my second visit to a local Spiritualist Church (of which I am now a member!) that it happened.  The medium bringing messages through happened to be the Pastor for the church.  He described my uncle perfectly and he even knew how he died and when!  I was in the process of working on my book and my uncle was giving me a positive message to continue with my writing! He was a major influence on my writing pursuits because he believed in me and encouraged me to keep doing it NO MATTER WHAT (the title of the first book I wrote and hope to have out in a few months!).  The following week at church, my Nana came through!  Now for you skeptics, I have to tell you…the medium knew way too much for it to be a lucky coincidence.  The message wasn’t vague and the medium’s description couldn’t have been applied to anyone else…it was very specific to my Nana, as Paul’s description was very specific to him.

I mentioned the above because I wanted to establish to you what I believe and why.  In my book “Be Still, My Love” the main character Tess Schafer is a medium.  Her husband and dog are killed by a drunk driver and Tess is devastated by the loss.  Part of her grief has to do with her beliefs.  You see, Tess believes (as do I) that death is not something that happens to us AGAINST OUR WILL.  Now, a LOT of people are going to argue with that and have.  I’ve even had a pretty critical review posted on Amazon over this particular issue.   I need to make it clear that on a CONSCIOUS level, MOST of us do not willingly go to our deaths.  We are born with a very strong instinct for survival.  Except in certain situations (suicides and terminal illness for instance) death is not a choice we consciously make.  But the thing about this issue is that if God makes the decision on when we die…then how is it that we have Free Will?  Do we have Free Will in everything BUT that?  I think not…it’s just too important an issue for us to have no say in the matter.  Now, when it comes time to die, I do believe that it is on a very deep level…SOUL deep…that the final decision is made.  This might explain the sudden return to life that is made after death has been declared! (Although the soul had obviously vacated the premises, a change in plans had to of occurred.  More than likely they were talked into returning because most reports of people who had a “near death experience” report NOT WANTING to return to life…even if they had a strong desire to live prior to the situation in hand!).  I believe that when people are in a coma they are actually “in review” of their lives and trying to decide what to do (again, on a very deep level…our Ego, the personality that we are in this earthly life, has no say in the matter.  Because, honestly, if our Ego had its way, we’d live forever!).  I could be wrong about this but I could be right.  Who knows?  Someday we all will.

So anyway, Tess struggled with her belief on this issue because if she was right about it, then that meant her husband agreed to depart his earthly life and leave her a widow.  She couldn’t accept that.  It is quite understandable that she feel that way because she loved him, he loved her, they were happy, had a good life…why would he leave all that?  But the thing is…we all have an agenda when we are born.  We come into earthly life hoping to accomplish something…maybe many things…but the point is, we all have a PURPOSE for entering physical life.  Once that purpose is met, we “cross over” (return) to our spiritual life (a state of “living” that we enjoy immensely by the way!).  Truly, if we all remembered from where we came and where we are headed when done with this physical life, many of us would be checking out a lot sooner than we end up doing!  I don’t know about you but I’ve gone through enough crap in my life that I’ve thought “What the hell is the point?  I’m so DONE with this!” and I tell ya, I’d have willingly crossed over if my instinct for survival wasn’t as strong as it is!  I mean really… life is freakin HARD!  It’s challenging and full of obstacles and strife and heartache and so on and so on.  Thank God for that survival instinct or we wouldn’t be having a population growth.  No.  But, when we come to that point where it’s a live or die situation, that’s when our soul (our true self) comes forward to take over.

I wrote a paper about this issue for a college English assignment and my professor for that course was quite pissed.  She scribbled all over that paper and then wrote “SEE ME” at the bottom.  Her father had recently died of a heart attack.  She informed me that there was “NO WAY” he WANTED to die and that my paper was a “load of crap”.  I’d hit a nerve…she was still grieving over her loss and for me to suggest that her dear father wanted to die didn’t sit well with her.  It wouldn’t.  We are programmed to love life and to cling to it no matter what.  As a result of that programming, we hate death, we fear it and we certainly want nothing more than to avoid it!  Besides, who wants to say goodbye to a loved one on such a permanent basis?  (permanent until we meet again when our own death occurs that is!).  I know that the losses I’ve suffered have left huge holes in my life.  You can’t fill those holes.  They stay there until our own life ends and leaves a hole in someone else’s life.  It’s a sucks-ass system but it is what it is.  It sucks even more (in my book anyway) to think that those who have died, might have done so UNwillingly!  To have them ripped from life without their consent seems so WRONG to me and a very UNloving thing for God to do!

When I was eighteen, I went through an experience in which I thought for sure I was about to die.  And I have to tell ya, I didn’t expect it to be a peaceful death either!  I was truly expecting a horrific end.  Oddly, as I stared death in the face, I felt quite calm inside (yeah, my heart was pounding so hard it hurt but my spirit was calm).  I was visiting friends in Virginia at the time and it was quite late in the evening.  I was sitting in their darkened kitchen (a small light over the sink was on) and talking on the phone to a guy I’d met the night before.  I was sitting next to the garage door.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that the door had opened but I paid no attention to it. Then I heard the heavy breathing.  I turned my head and froze, literally, to complete immobility.  I couldn’t utter a sound and I’m not sure if I was even breathing!  Standing there about a foot from me was a person dressed in a long trench coat, black boots, a black ski mask, black gloves and a dark hat.  One gloved hand held a very large shiny butcher knife.  It was held up high and pointed at me as if poised to plunge.  I remember the blade caught the light from over the sink and glistened as it moved in rhythm with its holder’s breathing.  My life was over.  In a flash I understood this and though I can tell you I didn’t WANT to die, there was a part of me that accepted what was about to happen.  When you think you have no choice, I think that’s when our soul comes forward to help us through the situation.  That’s the only explanation I can come up with.  And that whole “your life flashes before your eyes” thing?  Yeah, that happens…in an INSTANT.  My entire life was AT ONCE remembered…ALL of it.  It’s a very hard thing to explain.  After this instant life review came other thoughts.  I worried about my family, how they would take my death and that was my biggest regret.  I worried about how much it was going to hurt and I hoped that it happened quickly.  Chasing that thought was the question on whether I should keep my eyes open (I could blink at this point and that was it) or if I should close them.  I decided that I couldn’t close them and not KNOW when it was going to happen.  Chasing that decision was the wish that I could get my voice back so I could warn my friends in the next room.  I dearly hoped that they would make it out of the house while I was being butchered to death.  In that respect, I did hope my death wasn’t too quick for I truly wanted my friends to live.  I had no doubt, none at all, that I was going to die.  And then, incredibly, the person standing there began to laugh.  It was one of my friends pulling a prank on me.  She pulled the ski mask off and bent over in a fit of mirth (apparently my expression was beyond funny).  “You should see your face!” she gasped as I began to shake uncontrollably in relief.  It was the worst joke ever.  But it taught me something.  When facing death, there is a calm acceptance of it deep within.  Remember…our souls know that “death” is not final and is actually a release back to our true self and the beautiful pain-free, stress-free, hate-free loving existence that awaits us.

I’ve even experienced “death” in dreams!  I do wonder if those dreams were actually a past life memory because they sure did seem real.  What I remember most is how peaceful it was.  I think part of our grief is the thought that someone we love and would do anything for had somehow suffered.  It’s bad enough to lose someone but to think that they may have suffered in the transition is too much to bear.  I don’t know quite what I think about this other than it is my hope that our soul takes the personality out of the situation and leaves only the body shell to get through a terrible end…such as fire (which to me has to be one of the absolute worst ways to die!).  Speaking of which, there was a terrible story this past Christmas Eve about a house fire in which a woman lost her two young daughters and her parents.  I don’t know how someone survives a tragedy like that.  That poor woman not only had to suffer the loss of her children and parents (the most important people to her in all the world) but she had to deal with the fact that they died in a fire!  They tried to escape, of course, and didn’t make it.  You know their last moments of life was lived in horror.  Or was it?  Did their souls come forth and get them through it?  Did the angels take them away as their bodies perished?  I’d like to think so.  What I do know is that they are now living in a beautiful place and the mother/daughter they left behind is living in hell.  What sort of karma is she balancing?  For something that horrible to happen…it had to have been something that was planned in spirit BEFORE their earthly births.  I’m here to tell you, no matter what I believe…I KNOW I could not deal with something like that.  I pray for that woman, I really do.  I pray she somehow finds some peace as she continues out her life.

I don’t know why horrible things happen.  I don’t understand the evils of the world.  But I do know this…our soul will one day be released from the trap of physical life and return to the beautiful existence of spirit.  And I don’t think that our moment of death is going to be as traumatic as we might think (if only we could all just die peaceably of extreme old age in our sleep!).

I have questions about it all.  Of course I do.  One way I try to figure things out is through writing.  As I continue to write stories including Tess, I find myself learning things right along with her.  After all, the inspiration for her story is coming from somewhere…I believe it comes from the Universal Conscience which is, basically, God.

Okay, that’s enough for now!  What do you think?  It’s a touchy issue, I know.  It’s a depressing one.  For those of us left behind anyway!  I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!


So, is there really life after physical death?  You betcha.  How do I know?  I just do.  Not a good enough answer?  Fine.  I’ll elaborate.

Aside from living in a haunted house full of “dead” people, I’ve made contact with people who have made the transition from physical life to the spiritual hereafter.   Now, those that believe this is possible will accept that I may actually have done this.  Those who do not believe, will not believe, and that’s fine.  We are all entitled to our beliefs.  At least here in America we are!!  That doesn’t mean we don’t get prosecuted for what we believe but that’s something I’m not going to get into here.  I get on that soapbox and I’ll rant for hours!

The unseen forces in that haunted old farmhouse were scary.  But I think it was more because we didn’t know what we were dealing with and also, my dog didn’t like them.  I figured if they were friendly, he wouldn’t react in the way dogs do when they don’t like someone or something.  My dog Tippy, however, often growled at them and that is a pretty good indication that they were not friendly.  We didn’t get hurt by them or anything but they sure did take a lot of things that were never to be found again.  Bummer that.

My contact with loved ones in spirit through Automatic Writing went a long way in cementing my beliefs in life after death.  No one is going to convince me that I wasn’t REALLY talking to my grandparents.  Some of the stuff they shared were things I didn’t know anything about (see previous blog posts about this!).

When I then tried my hand at channeling (direct communication with someone in the spiritual realm without the use of anything but my self), that went quite well also.  The information that came through had to come from somewhere as I sure as heck didn’t know that stuff!  When connecting with spiritual guides and loved ones who have passed on, the information coming through should be helpful.  If it’s scary or useless, then you are not connecting with a loved one or a spirit guide.  You are possibly connecting with a “dark” spirit.  An entity that operates as far from God’s influence as possible.  Something that’s in league with “the devil”.  My belief is that the devil isn’t a specific person or entity … it is a term that embodies all things evil (no love involved).

A few years ago I was introduced to “table tipping”.  Like the Ouija, table tipping has negative press associated with it.  Mostly from people who don’t understand any of this, don’t believe any of this and who pass negative judgement on anything to do with the supernatural.  Weird that, since God is a supernatural energy and the majority of the ones criticizing such practices believe in God!! But anyway…

The first time I was introduced to table tipping was at a “spiritual development class” I attended.  I had never seen this work before.  Indeed, I never even heard of it.  There were several small tables used and we put about four to five people per table.  The gist of it is that you lightly lay your hands flat on the table top and invite a spirit to communicate with you.  When one takes you up on the offer, the table begins to vibrate, shimmy, rattle back and forth and finally, it will tip up on one or two legs.  Yes, yes, people are going to say that the people operating the table are causing it to do those things.  Can’t do anything about the skeptics.  I was in one group where the table continuously tipped toward me and of course I was being accused of making that happen.  So I took my index finger and lightly placed the tip of it in the CENTER of the table (there were three others at the table).  We asked the spirit a question and the table easily, quickly tipped to me.  Now, how did I make that happen with the tip of one finger lightly resting on the center of the table?  If my mind made that table tip towards me, then wow, even that is amazing!!

For the most part, though, I considered table tipping just a fun sort of activity.  I didn’t take it too seriously.  Until one day we got a group of people together and got ourselves a serious message.  One of the woman who joined the group at the table I was operating (there were four of us all together) was a stranger to me.  I shall call her “Gladys” though that was not her name.  I did not know Gladys or anything about her.  She came with one of my aunts who was also operating the table with us.  The fourth person was yet another aunt who also did not know Gladys.  Once we got the table tipping and “talking” (it spells out messages through a series of tips … “a” is one tip, “b” is two tips, etc… yes, it’s time consuming), Gladys wanted to know if she could ask for someone.  We told her to go ahead and call him forth.  When the table tipped  to indicate he was with us, she started to cry.  At first I thought it was because she was moved to think someone she cared about was with her once again.  But that wasn’t it at all.  The man she asked for and who answered her call had been missing for two weeks.  Of course Gladys was hoping that he was still alive though it really wasn’t expected that he was.  He suffered from Alzheimer’s and had wandered from his home two weeks prior.  Gladys believed from the beginning of his disappearance that he had left his home with the intention of coming to visit her.  There was a path through the woods between their homes that he used to use.  She said that volunteers had searched the woods but did not find him.  The man whom I shall call “Walter” (not his real name) then told us that he was indeed in the woods.  He told us he got confused, wandered off the path and then fell over a fallen tree.  He told us where we could find his body.  The mood at the table was pretty somber.  This wasn’t just a fun game anymore.  None of us were sure how to handle the situation.  Part of us wanted to load into the car and go find Walter.  A bigger part of us did not.  The bigger part won out.

Gladys, however, decided a few days later to try and find Walter based on the information he had given us through the table.  But she became lost herself (Gladys is in the elderly stages of life, as was Walter). Thankfully, Gladys’s son found her and rescued her.  No other attempts were made to find Walter’s body (search parties had been called off by this time).  Then a year later, during hunting season, two unfortunate hunters found more than they bargained for.  They found Walter, right where he said he’d be!  This more than anything has convinced me that table tipping is a valid way to communicate with the spirit world.

Shortly after being introduced to table tipping (and before the Walter incident), I convinced a couple family members to sit down with me and give it a try.  We did a prayer for God’s protection and cast his protective light about us (our imagination is a key tool to all there is!  a strong, focused mental picture is as real as solidified matter!)  The dark forces that lurk in the netherworld cannot penetrate God’s light (all light is God!).  By envisioning ourselves surrounded with light, we are ensuring that only good, loving spirits get through to speak with us.  I always begin each session that involves spirit in any way with a prayer, and I always take the time to imagine myself surrounded in God’s protective light.  I believe this works, nay, I KNOW it does for I have not had any problems with negative energies.

So, there we are sitting quietly waiting for the table to move.  It shimmies ever so slightly.  Of course we each ask the other “Did you feel that?”  Then suddenly into the quiet was a series of knocks pounding loudly on our window in the living room (my home has an open floor plan and we were in the dining room portion of the house). Of course we jump up and check the window and look out on the porch to see if anyone is out there.  Our first thought was that someone saw what we were doing through the window and decided to have fun with us (an illogical thought as we have no close neighbors and live relatively secluded).  So of course there was no one about and no logical explanation for the knocking.  Such a thing did not happen again or since.  Not during table tipping activities anyway.

I have experienced several incidents in my life where I heard someone knock at my door and when I went to answer it, no one was there.  As my dogs also heard the knocks and responded with excited barking, I know I didn’t imagine it.  One time the knock was on the door right beside me.  I was doing dishes, lost in thought, when someone (or “something”) knocked on my door.  The dogs immediately started barking and I turned my head to see who it was (the door is all glass) and no one was there!  I’ve even heard my name called out several times.  Have even answered before I realized that I was alone!  My initial response to these moments is to question whether I really heard anything or not. But gosh, they sure sounded real enough.

A few years ago I decided to check out the Spiritualist Church.  Luckily for me, we had one nearby.  The first visit there, I had my grandmother come through the visiting medium (for those who are not familiar with the Spiritualist Church … services are conducted in three parts: healing/mediation, an inspirational talk and then finally, messages from spirit).  How do I know it was Nana who came through for SURE?  I’ll explain.  Since I fully understand that some mediums bring through vague references and information that is pretty universal…can be attributed to anyone…I want it clear that what came through for me on this day, my first visit to the church, was very specific to my grandmother.  My Nana was short…only 4’11” and she probably weighed all of 90 lbs.  Nana was a chain smoker (Pall Malls, unfiltered!) and she enjoyed beer (yeah, she was a character!!).  She used to pour herself about a half a cup of beer each day and took her time drinking it.  Nana’s day consisted of cooking for Grampy (he got two full meals a day) and sitting at the kitchen table next to the window.  She doodled constantly and kept watch for whatever interested her outside that window.  Driving up the driveway to her house, you could always count on seeing her there and it was always a welcome, comforting sight!  I spent many, many hours of my childhood in her front yard knowing she was watching my play with interest and amusement. Truly, I loved having an audience.  Especially an appreciative, nonjudgmental one!

That short background bio is important.  Here’s why.  The medium told me that I had a grandmother figure coming through to speak to me.  She was quite short and slight of stature.  He saw her sitting at a table next to a window! He said she was holding up a cup and saying “It’s tea” and winking (Nana used to joke with me that she was drinking her “tea”).  He said she passed over to the other side about 25 years ago or so (yes).  He said she liked to draw (hey, doodling is a form of drawing!).  He saw her smoking a cigarette and looking out the window!  Her message to me was to continue with my writing and not stop!! I was working on a novel at the time and wondering if I really should pursue my old dreams of being an author.  Nana had always been supportive of my writing ambitions (I’ve been writing stories since the age of eight and was determined all through high school that I was going to be a published author someday!).  It all just hit me in that moment that my grandmother was really there!  It’s quite an emotional thing to happen.  I had spoken to her over the years through channeling and automatic writing but to have her come through someone else was quite wonderful!!  More so perhaps because I knew it wasn’t me influencing anything in any way.

This experience convinced me that this was the church I needed to continue attending.  The people there were friendly, the atmosphere lovely and better yet, my Nana attended as well!!  So the following week I go again.  I was hoping that Grampy would come through this time.  He did not.  My uncle Paul did instead!!

My uncle Paul died at the young age of 29.  A brain aneurysm struck him down in the prime of life.  I was 14 at the time and his death was a stunning blow to me.  I loved him very much.  He was one of the nicest persons you could ever meet.  He was always jolly and very kind.  He treated everyone so very well.  What I loved most about him was how attentive he was and how considerate.  And what’s more, Paul believed in me.  I remember one day that I was upset because I gave one of my stories to my mother to read which she did … out loud to one of her friends.  The two of them chuckled over it and I took it that they were making fun of my writing! Now, looking back, I don’t believe they were being cruel or disrespectful.  I was thirteen years old, the writing had to have been pretty amusing to an adult and they truly did enjoy it.  They even told me I should write more.  But all I heard was their laughter.  Not long after that, my uncle stopped by for a visit.  He wanted to know why I had such a down face and I told him that I had just made the decision not to write anymore (at 13 it is easy to be discouraged and everything is always so dramatic!).  I had shared my secret dream of being a writer with my uncle Paul a long time before and he was very supportive of that dream.

My uncle’s easy smile disappeared and he got a very serious look on his face.  He leaned across the table toward me, looked me in the eyes and said, “Debbie, don’t let anyone discourage you from your dreams.  It doesn’t matter what anyone does or says.  You believe in yourself and go after whatever you want.  That’s all that really matters.”  He then squeezed my hand and said the all important words, “I believe in you.”  That was enough for me.  Thank you, Paul!!

So here I am at church for the second time and when we reach the part of the service where the medium starts sharing messages, I get excited and nervous.  Will Grampy come through or not?  I had sent a mental plea out to him, inviting him to do so.  The medium looked at me and said, paraphrased somewhat but close to what was said, “There’s a gentleman here.  He’s very jolly.  Strong personality, very friendly. (I adored my grandfather but I wouldn’t have described him as “jolly”).  He’s got a very uplifting spirit.  He wasn’t very old when he died, later twenties?”  The medium then touched his head.  “I’m getting that he died suddenly.  An aneurysm…in the brain?”  (It felt as if the blood drained from my face.  I knew instantly that it was Paul and I began to cry.  I was just so GLAD to have him back in my life!!).  “He’s quite tall, prominent nose.” (the medium is gesturing) “His hair is parted on the side.” (All apt descriptions) The medium rubs his face.  “Sometimes he has a beard but not all the time.” (Paul usually grew a beard in the winter time and shaved it off during the summer months!). The medium then held up his hand. “He’s showing me a pipe!  He’s holding it in his left hand.  His tobacco is pleasant.”  (My uncle Paul was left handed, he smoked a pipe that gave off the most pleasant smell of cherries!!)  Paul’s message?  He’s here, he’s happy and he’s still supportive of me continuing my dream! Oh. My. God.  That’s all I can say.  I was profoundly affected by the entire thing.  I KNOW my uncle Paul was in that room with me.  He was just as exuberant and full of life as always.  Just as supportive of me as he had always been!  I left church that day with a renewed sense of purpose. Yes, I was going to pursue my writing career and I was going to be serious about it.  Nana and Paul both came through to encourage that decision and I trusted them whole-heartedly.  Like the good granddaughter and niece that I am, I am taking them up on that advice!

Just this past weekend, I went to church after a rather long absence.  Just before heading out the door, I went to grab my glasses off the bathroom counter where I placed them while blow-drying my hair.  My glasses were gone.  Looked all over for them.  Nothing.  My son helped me with the search and guess where we found them?  Tucked up under the counter.  Baffled as to how they got there, I hurried off to church, worried that I’d be late.  When it came time for messages from spirit, guess who comes to greet me?  My grandparents.  The medium said, “There is a couple here.  One is quite tall (Grampy was over six feet) and the other one is quite short (Nana was 4’11”), he is holding glasses in his hand.  There is something significant about this.”  (aha! so my grandfather was the one who hid my glasses.  Just so he could help validate his presence in church later).  Clever man.  The medium told me that they wanted me to know they were a united front in spirit, their arms are entwined (a nice picture for my mind to enjoy).  They wanted me know know that they are here for me always.  It was nice getting that message as I’ve been wondering what they thought about what I’ve been up to lately, this blog for one as I’ve been talking about them quite a bit.  It’s a wonderful thing to stay in touch with them, though I do miss their physical presence.  Still, it’s comforting to know their spirits are close by and there support is as strong as ever.

So, yes.  There is life after physical death.  And we can thank God for that!  Hallelujah and Amen.


Thanks to living in a haunted house, I was introduced to aspects of our world which we categorize as the paranormal and the supernatural.  It is a vast world with countless mysteries waiting to be discovered.  I began exploring the “other side” through the Ouija board and this led to other avenues of spirit communication.  I’m no expert, but I am one of God’s own, born with all the capabilities needed to “seek the truth” and discover what our life is all about … really.  Although I don’t use the Ouija much, I have had quite a bit of success with it.  By that I mean that I’ve made contact with loved ones that gave information about things I had no way of knowing beforehand.  Another great test for the Ouija is when information comes through that involves someone NOT operating the board.  Otherwise, it is sometimes argued that the operators are unconsciously influencing the spelled messages.  This is an old argument and one that will continue until there are no doubters and disbelievers left.  And really, I don’t see that happening in the foreseeable future!  Despite my belief in the validity of the Ouija, there was just so much negativity attached to it that I decided to try other things.

I have to say, though, in defense of the Ouija, that all things are only as good or as bad as the operator.  Bad things can happen with the Ouija when people EXPECT bad things to happen.  When handled with fear and trepidation, those negative feelings act as a beacon to the darker forces.  For the most part, an item’s usefulness and/or danger level is equivalent to the care and handling of the operator.  After all, a gun is just a worthless, inanimate object until someone picks it up and decides what to do with it.  And just like with a gun, if the operator is ignorant of the dangers, then bad things are likely to happen.  In any case, I started learning about other forms of spirit contact and was quite eager to check them out.

It was a surprise to learn that the pendulum can be used in similar fashion to the Ouija.  My first exposure to pendulum use went as far back in my childhood as I can remember.  My family used this method to determine the sex of an unborn baby.  They used a sewing needle dangling from a short length of thread.  The needle was held over the palm of a pregnant lady (usually one of my many aunts!) where it would be still for only a few moments before it began to move.  If the needle swung back and forth, it was a boy.  If it swung in circles, it was a girl.  If I recall correctly, most of the time, the needle predicted right!  We didn’t realize it at the time, but we were using “pendulum power“. We had no idea we could connect with the spirit world using this method.  If my aunts had known that, they would have done so, it’s just the sort of family I come from!

When using a pendulum to speak with spirits, I take the back and forth motion for “no” responses and the circle motion for “yes” responses. Some will tell you that the pendulum will let you know what it will do for yes and no responses and that is fine too.  There are a lot of web sites in cyber land that will give you their take on the whole thing (I attached one link in the above paragraph but there are many sites to choose from if you are interested).  In any case, anyone can use a pendulum, no training required.  Just like the Ouija.  But again, it’s only as good as your intentions are when using it.

Divining rods can be used in a similar fashion as well.  My grandfather used them to find water and he was darned good at it, but the rods can also be used to detect spirit activity and location … the so called “hot spots” and “cold spots”.  You can communicate with the spirits through the rods as well.  When I used them, I took it as a “yes” answer when the rods swiveled in opposite directions and when they crossed each other, I took that as a no answer.  Again, you can experiment with them to see what they’ll do for “yes” and “no” responses for you.  There is a lot of information about divining rods on the internet if this subject interests you.  As for me, I’ve used them to find things and have played around with them in the same lighthearted attitude that one does with an “8 Ball”.  But there are many who take the business of pendulums quite seriously.  Even if you don’t use the rods to communicate with spirits or even your own “higher self“, they are a great tool for finding things and I don’t mean just water!!

I think spirit communication is possible and divination tools work because we are all operating within the same energy field or power grid or whatever you want to call it. Everything in existence is energy in motion (and I mean everything from the dirt you walk on to the sky above you!) and it is because of the energy field we share that we are all connected.  This is why one thing happening “here” will affect something happening thousands of miles away. Quantum Physics is teaching us this fascinating fact.  As for divination, I think this is possible because time (the past, present and future) all coexist at once.  When one is seeing a past event or a future one, they have somehow crossed into that particular plane of existence.  It is an interesting theory and perhaps one I’ll pursue in another blog post.

It seems that when we go through difficult times, we turn to God and/or our spiritual roots.  It was while going through a difficult divorce and dealing with the devastation of it that I turned to God for comfort.  Once again I was active in exploring my spiritual beliefs.  It was during this time that I learned about Automatic Writing (also called Inspirational Writing!).  With blank paper at the ready and holding a pencil poised above it, I waited for the urge to write.  Now, there’s more of a process to this: calming the mind, creating a quiet scene and allowing things to happen.  I lit candles and incense (to set the proper mood) and then focused on the candle’s flickering flame (our conscious minds must have something in which to occupy itself).  When the writing begins, I just go with it and try to keep from analyzing what I’m writing (hard to do!).  I always began with prayer and imagined that I was cocooned in a circle of bright white light so that whatever entity wanted to come through and speak to me would be a “light” entity … one filled with love and operating within the positive portion of the energy field.  I wasn’t sure what I would get the first time I tried this, but it sure was a welcome surprise to have my grandmother whom I called “Nana” come through.  I could feel her energy as surely as I can feel that of a solid, living breathing person standing beside me.

It was quite wonderful to be talking with my Nana again.  I asked a thousand questions and she answered most of them (in written form on paper) and then she’d ask questions and I would answer.  The only problem with this process is that my hand got tired after awhile from all the writing.  Luckily my questions to her were all done mentally.  She didn’t need the pen and paper.  I did.

I remember one night my Nana had a message for my mother.  She told me to let mom know that she was right to say what she did.  She said she was just so mad at the time and things were said that shouldn’t have been said.  She spoke a lot of private stuff I won’t reveal here.  I can tell you this, none of it made any sense to me at the time. I was really quite baffled by what she wanted me to tell my mom but she was so insistent that I do it, I couldn’t refuse.  When I read the messages to my mom, she explained that she and my Nana (which was my mom’s mother) had had a fight shortly before Nana died and she was apologizing for things that had been said.  I didn’t know about their disagreement so for me this sort of thing helped me to believe that I truly was communicating with my Nana.  It wasn’t all coming from my own active imagination.  What was so nice about it is that my mom got closure on that issue.  As much as I enjoyed talking with Nana, I did ask one night if anyone else wanted to come through and communicate with me, and that is when I connected with my spirit guide.

Although I enjoyed the communications with my spirit guide and the advice coming through was very useful and positive, I again began to question the validity of what was happening.  Really, how many times must it be proven?  Are we ever satisfied?  There was just so much information coming through and I couldn’t validate any of it.  So, here I was again, wondering if my own brain were making it all up.   Self-doubt is something most of us wrestle with, especially when it comes to stuff like this.  We want to be SURE. And eventually I was to get the validation that I needed.  Again.

My mother asked me if I had spoken with my grandfather (Grampy) and I told her that only Nana had come through up to this point.  She asked me to try to get hold of Grampy and see if he had anything to say.  I didn’t know at the time that my mom was looking for a message from him.  So, I sat down one night with the intention of contacting my grandfather (who was, by the way, one of my most favorite people in all the world.  He and Nana both).  Grampy came through and I scribbled away, hardly able to keep up with all he had to say. When I was finished and read it all over, none of it made any sense to me and I decided that I would not share it with my mother.  I thought it might upset her for Grampy talked about not being “ready to pass on” and he also wrote “tell your mother that she was right.  She did the right thing” (I couldn’t help but wonder…now what?  Another fight?”).  And then he went on to say she made the right decision and that he is happy. I didn’t want to give this message to my mother because I was afraid she would wonder what Grampy was talking about just like I did.  Although it all worked out quite fine with Nana’s puzzling message, I couldn’t imagine what could have possibly occurred before Grampy died that involved my mother because his death had been so sudden.

To add a little background, Grampy died after suffering a stroke.  He went into a coma and never woke up.  After several days of no brain activity, the decision was made to “pull the plug” on my grandfather’s life support.  I was in the Air Force at the time and although I had come home on emergency leave to see my grandfather in the hospital, I could only stay a few days and he never woke up during that time.  I did talk to him, though, and I truly believe he could hear me because sometimes his heart rate increased and his blood pressure shot up slightly.  Grampy slipped away from physical life a few days after I returned to my duty station.  My Nana died three months later in her sleep.  Their deaths were quite devastating to me as I was very close to them and the loss was great indeed.

After my puzzling contact with Grampy, I wondered if I should continue with the Automatic Writing for I wasn’t sure what to believe…was I really making contact with my grandparents or not?  When my mother asked me if I got hold of Grampy, I told her that I did but didn’t want to give her the message.  She insisted that I do so and after making it clear that it was probably just senseless ramblings from my brain, I read her the message.  Mom got very quiet and emotional during the reading of it, and I felt I’d made the wrong decision to read it to her.  Then my mom explained that she really needed to hear that message and that she felt so much better!!  Of course I needed her to explain the message and now it was her turn to hesitate.  It seems that my mom was the one who had to sign the order to remove Grampy from life support.  None of her siblings wanted to be the one to authorize it.  She felt guilty about it and always wondered if they had made the right choice.  I knew that the decision had been made to remove Grampy from life support and I was totally against it.  This is probably why my mother never told me that she was the one who gave written permission to do so.  Although I was in selfish mode back then and wanted him to live forever, I know that if Grampy could have appeared before them, he would have told them to do it as well.  He had always made it clear to us that he did not want to live to the point that he could not take care of himself or get around on his own.  So here we were, many years later and Grampy is finally able to tell his side of that difficult time.  He said he was scared at first and was resisting death (thus the coma … his body laying in wait for his decision).  Part of him didn’t want to leave us but another part of him was ready to move on.  He heard our pleas to  fight and live but he also heard the call of his soul.  If Grampy had truly wanted to live, he would have done so even after the life support machines were removed.  I truly believe this.  Removing those life lines gave him the courage to do what he wanted to do and that was to transition into spirit.  Grampy said that his transformation was quite joyous and he wondered what had taken him so long to go.  He assured us that it was a very peaceful transition and that he was greeted by many loved ones, all of which he was very glad to see again!  He told us that he still keeps tabs on us all, was aware of what was happening in our lives and that he never left us.  When we think about him or need him, he is here.

Speaking of that.  About a year ago on my birthday, I was thinking about my Nana and Grampy and missing them.  I knew that my thoughts could bring them to me so I sent out a mental note for them to give me a sign that they were near. Within SECONDS of asking for this, I got my sign.  I was in the drive-thru window at McDonald’s waiting for my ice coffee order when I sent out the mental plea for that sign.  Just as I began to pull away from the window another car came zipping around me.  At first I was annoyed that it had hurried to get around me only to stop quick and wait for traffic, but then I saw the license plate.  It was my grandfather’s name “Lafayette”.  Nothing else, no other numbers, just Lafayette.  Not a typical name and yet, there it was, right in front of me, seconds after asking my Grampy for a sign that he was near!!!  I couldn’t wait to see how Nana was going to give me her sign.

I drive down the road just a short ways and there in big letters all lit up on a restaurant sign are the words “AD A (blah, blah, blah … something to make my day but I forget the exact words)”.  My Nana’s name was Ada and for some reason, the sign’s first three letters were capitalized!!  I didn’t even read the rest of the sign because I was so focused on Nana’s name and I knew that she had found a way to let me know she was near!!  I truly think the first word on that sign was supposed to be “add” but they had dropped a “d” because of limited space.  That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?  I think so.  And I take great comfort in it because I miss them very much even though they’ve been gone for over thirty years!!  I do, however, dream about them on occasion.  They beckon me to come visit them and they are always in the home they were living in when they died (which is now gone).  I tell them, “But you know you are dead, right?”  And they tell me that it doesn’t matter.  I hate waking up from those dreams because I just love visiting them.  Even though it is happening in a dream, it feels quite real and I believe that’s because it is!!  I’ve also had a few dream visits with a friend of mine that died several years ago of breast cancer.  She always looks so happy and vibrant and she tells me that she’s not dead.  I tell you, I love those kinds of dreams.

Automatic writing was really a successful venture for me.  My spirit guide gave me a lot of wonderful advice.  The messages were positive and helpful, as messages from your spirit guides should be!

One night while “conversing” with my spirit guide, she told me to put the pencil down and talk to her.  I asked her how were we to communicate if I wasn’t writing it all down.  She said she would speak through me.  I was a little worried about that as I didn’t want to be “possessed” or anything like that.  Besides, I felt a little silly about it.  And then I felt bad about feeling silly about something so serious and wonderful!  It took awhile but eventually I got over my trepidation, made myself comfortable on the couch, closed my eyes, relaxed and let her come in.

The first thing I felt was a light tickling on my face … like cobwebs brushing over me.  The feeling moved down around my throat which got rather tight (but I think it’s because I was unconsciously fighting the whole thing).  Then I felt pressure on my chest.  Lots of it.  Like a huge weight slowly bearing down on me. At first I resisted the pressure and that made it worse, but when I told myself to trust in my guide and let it happen, the pressure let up and then I felt nothing but blessed weightlessness. It was as if I no longer existed as solid matter!  While marveling over this strange sensation, I felt the urge to speak although I had no idea what I was going to say.  And then she started talking.  Okay, I was talking but the words were hers.  It was like having two people in my head at the same time! While she was talking, I was thinking about what she was saying and making mental comments of my own like:  “really?”  “gosh, I hope that’s true!”  “oh, I don’t know if I believe that, I’ll have to think about that one”  and the like.  It’s an odd thing to happen, having two conversations go on in your brain at the same time!

The energy in the room was revved up during these communications.  Although I always did this at night with the lights off and a candle lit, the room felt as if it had a warm, humming (a silent hum but felt none the less) glow (unseen but also felt) about it.  It’s hard to describe it.  All I know is the energy level in the room was hyped up and it was very comfortable and peaceful.  When my guide ended our conversation, the energy drop was very noticeable and I became aware of how chilly the room actually was (I was living in Italy during this time and the homes I lived in were on the cool side.  The Italians, in my opinion, are great energy conservationists and don’t have honking heaters raising temperature levels into the sweltering stage!). I always had to have a blanket nearby for afterwards.

My communications stopped when my life started falling apart again (another marriage down the tubes) and I once again began to question everything.  It would be a few years before I continued with my spiritual explorations and spirit communications.  But I’ll leave all that for next time, this post is long enough.

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