Tag Archive: Death



ghostsMany of you who follow my blog know that I grew up in a haunted house and because of that became interested in the paranormal. I’ve written blog posts about my experiences in that freaky old farmhouse and plan on releasing a book about it as well…which will really be a conglomeration of all those earlier blog posts. Since starting this blog a little over a year ago, I’ve received lots of comments and email from readers who have had or are having similar experiences and I thought it was time to write another post dealing with the issue of ghosts.

For those of you who have not been following my blog since the beginning…let me bring you up too speed real quick about me, my experiences and beliefs concerning ghosts, hauntings, and the like.

First, I am not a medium though I have had some experience communicating with “the other side” and I don’t consider myself any more psychic than anyone else (we all possess psychic ability). But I do actively pursue knowledge on spiritual matters and put to practice the things I learn. So, basically, I am the average person with an interest in the paranormal and everything that I do…you can do as well!

I was seven when my family moved into the farmhouse and I was fourteen when we moved out. We’d had enough of the paranormal activity there and really, once my dad finally caved to the idea of ghosts and accepted the fact that they truly existed…there was no staying there any longer.

Ghosts can be pretty scary. It’s unnerving to deal with something you can’t see. Scariest of all is the possibility of coming up against something evil. This fear alone scares most people off when it comes to spirit communication and hauntings. And really, that is quite understandable. No one in their right mind is going to want to deal with an evil entity. Heck, we don’t want to deal with bad people who are still LIVING let alone one who is dead! The unseen bad is the worst kind in many ways. I think this is because we feel powerless against it. How do you fight something you can’t see or touch?

Now, before I go on with my thoughts on that, let me explain that the things I have come to believe are a result of personal experience and acquired knowledge from other people or through books, television/movie/video and the like. I believe every medium of learning (such as those just mentioned) are methods used by God to teach us what we need to learn or remember. Now, I believe in God, obviously, and I also think of this Higher Power as “the Universe”. Did you notice that I said God uses the various methods to “teach” us something or to help us “remember” something? I say “remember” because I truly believe we know way more than we remember about who we are (spiritual beings!) and where we come from (spirit!). When going through the birth process, it seems we suffer some sort of amnesia and “forget” quite a bit about our spiritual selves, where it was we came from and what we are capable of.

I had a very vivid dream once (during a time when I was really going through a “spiritual awakening”) that I believe addresses this issue. By the way…I truly believe our dreams are the soul’s way of speaking to us! But anyway…I dreamed I was in spirit and preparing to come to earth (I was soon to be born into a physical body). A group of friends was with me and we were discussing my pending birth. I was sad to be leaving them and the spiritual world in which we lived. In my dream, I understood that I’d done this before (been born into other lives…so, yes, I do believe in reincarnation and living past lives!). I told my friends that THIS time I wasn’t going to forget who I was. I wasn’t going to forget them or my “real” life. They told me it would be impossible to hold on to the memory of our truth. But I was VERY determined! So when it was time to go (enter earthly life) I ascended a spiral staircase and as I went up the steps, I repeatedly looked down at my friends gathered below. I would then wave and say, “I won’t forget you!”. Finally, I reached the top of the stairs and the world in which I had to step into was dark. The staircase and all below was brightness and light and I remember not wanting to step off the staircase into the dark interior of life. But I had no choice and so as I moved away from the stairs, I kept glancing back toward the stairwell. The further away I walked, the smaller the lighted spot where the staircase was located. The world around me was dark and dismal and at first I was constantly glancing back to remind me of the staircase’s existence and to reassure myself that it was still there. I would NOT forget! But, the more I walked (moved through life…grew up), the more frightening the images around me became and the smaller the light when I turned back to look. I kept repeating in my head “I won’t forget” but it was getting harder to remember to do that for I was distracted by what was going on around me. Then something jumped out at me and scared me so bad I didn’t dare to turn around and look for the light. Instead, I focused more on what was in front of me rather than what was behind me and when I finally did turn back…I could no longer see the light and I didn’t remember WHY I was looking back! I had forgotten! And that’s when I woke up. That dream is as vivid to me today as it was when I had it…now over 20 years ago! Dreams that stay with us are very important to us on many levels and in this case it was a pretty big lesson!

It’s been said that children retain some spiritual connection at birth but as they age, the connection becomes lost (have you ever noticed that babies often seem to be looking at something you can’t see? Something that amazes and amuses them?). The harsher the life we live, the faster we forget. Eventually, we are left “in the dark” and all knowledge of the light is something we must now seek to remember. I think that is why Jesus was considered the “light of the world”. He came to teach us “the way” back into the light (to reopen our eyes that we may see!). But he isn’t the only one who came to help us poor lost souls. All those who are known as true spiritual teachers (across all religions)…they too have come to show us the way and help us to see.

So anyway, our biggest challenge as humans is to remember the “truth” about who we are. In seeking and finding the truth, we shall truly be set free…from fear, misery, pain and the like! I truly believe that those of us who ACTIVELY seek the truth will eventually discover it. Bit by bit, slowly but surely! Because of our Ego (and we ALL possess one), our “remembering” is often a slow process. Our Egos act as a personal “gatekeeper” of sorts. It limits our access to universal knowledge and keeps us firmly rooted in the physical world. The Ego controls what we accept as truth and the only way to get a truth past Ego’s gate is to do it in small increments! Once we learn and accept one thing…we can go on to learn and accept another. And so on.

When physical death occurs and a person enters spirit, they do one of the following: 1) hang out in the spirit world for awhile (maybe go through a “life review” process) and then prepare for another birth (reincarnate) 2) go on to Heaven or Hell…whichever is appropriate! 3) hang around the physical world and try to communicate with loved ones left behind…or whoever else they manage to make contact with! 4) become confused about their new state of being (and thus require help from the angels and/or mediums) 5) refuse to accept they are dead (and so require help from angels and/or mediums) or they might 6) hang around the physical world in order to cause mischief. Those that do this are more than likely the “evil” ones we are so afraid to encounter. No doubt they are also avoiding Hell or whatever they must face for the evil deeds they conducted when they were alive!

The ones who are just trying to communicate (either to impart a message or offer reassurance) or the ones who are confused about their new status as spirits (because of a sudden or violent death)…these, I think, are the most common situations in hauntings. It really isn’t unusual to encounter a spirit who is here to do nothing more than reassure us they are fine or to impart a message. Some, though, are concerned about the welfare of someone they left behind and so stick around to watch over them. As for the ones who are confused about their “death” or are afraid to move on…they really do need help…either from a medium or from an angel, a spirit guide. BUT, the ones who stick around because they are angry or intend to do harm, THESE are the ones we need to watch out for and avoid interacting with. And it is fear of these ones who cause most people to avoid spirit communication.

I know that was the case for me when I was living in that farmhouse. Although I knew some of the spirits there meant no harm, there was at least one who was not nice and because of that ONE, I was afraid of them all. Now, considering they never hurt any of us, I can’t think why I was so afraid all the time, but I was. It was this fear that I wanted to address in my third book of the Tess Schafer-Medium series that I’m writing. Book one…”Be Still, My Love” was about my character Tess Schafer dealing with her anger at God and struggling with her spiritual beliefs. Book two…”Hidden Voices” was about her expanding her gift and accepting who she is, what she does and being comfortable with it. Book three…”Vanquishing Ghosts” (to be released in late Spring!) has Tess confronting her fear of negative spirit activity. I wanted to show through this story that we have within us the capability to deal with anything…even evil spirits. I almost named the book “Conquering Fear” because that is exactly what Tess had to do.

Many people write to me expressing fear for some sort of spirit activity they are experiencing. Most all those cases sound to me like someone in spirit who knows them and wants to communicate with them. The spirits bothering these nice folks aren’t trying to frighten them. As I’ve mentioned…once we pass into spirit and we realize that we are very much “alive”, we want to come back and reassure those we love. We want to share the good news! Only now we are in spirit and our communication attempts accomplish nothing but fear. This is why visiting a reputable medium would be beneficial. There are a lot of frauds out there in the world taking advantage of peoples’ grief but there are also a lot of truly gifted mediums ready and willing and happy to help you! As I am a member of the Spiritualist Church, I am lucky enough to be around lots of mediums! My advice lately, for those who seem to have a particularly determined spirit bothering them, is that they should try and locate a Spiritualist Church and see one of their mediums.

Common paranormal experiences are the feeling of being watched, the feeling that someone is right next to you, a sudden chill or tingling feeling (this is more of a response from your spirit body which instantly recognizes when other spirits are nearby!). Things might move around. Rocking chairs will rock, curtains will riffle, a picture might fall (in many cases, the person in the picture is the spirit trying to communicate!), doors open or shut, lights come on or go off, electrical equipment might do the same – the radio or TV might change channels. In all cases, if a spirit is involved, then they are simply manipulating the matter around you to try and get your attention. The problem is…they get your attention alright but then what? You aren’t exactly ready to carry on a conversation are you? And even if you are…how do you go about it? In some cases, people do hear their name being called (a common occurrence actually!). So how do you communicate with a spirit that has managed to get your attention? If you aren’t a natural medium (let’s face it…some are just gifted in this area while others are not!) and you don’t want to pull out a Ouija board, just how are you expected to “talk”?

Well, one thing I often recommend is what is known as “automatic writing”. This is where you grab a pencil and some paper and invite the spirit to communicate with you by writing whatever it is they want to say (using your hand to write it of course…don’t expect the pencil to just lift up and start scribbling away!). The problem with this method is that many people think they are making it all up. I say this…so what? Make it up! Just where do you suppose the inspiration for the words you are writing is coming from? Where do the stories I write come from? Where does any thought come from that pops into our mind? Spirit! This sort of writing is also called “inspirational writing” because you are being inspired to write. Inspiration comes from spirit so inspire away!! The freer you give reign to write whatever enters your mind, the more of a message you are going to get.

Now, because we don’t want to encourage negative spirit interaction, I always make it clear that I don’t want to communicate with anyone who is negative in any way. If a message comes through that sounds threatening or makes you uncomfortable then you need to end the communication. Loving spirits with good intentions are not going to make you feel that way. When a loving spirit wants too communicate with you, that is what you are going to feel…loving energy. You are going to feel GOOD inside. Happy. Peaceful. If you feel none of those things…then you simply tell the spirit that you will NOT communicate with it and that it is not to bother you any more and then BLESS the spirit and send it away. If you are still bothered after that, then find a medium and take care of the problem. Unfortunately, there is the possibility that a particularly nasty spirit isn’t going to obey your command (though I do believe this is rare!). The thing to remember is that here in the physical world…we who are in a physical body are in charge. Those in spirit can only operate in spirit. They can manipulate matter to a degree but once you take charge of the situation…through prayer, faith, and fearlessness…the spirit has no power. I truly believe this. I try to show this through my character Tess. I put her in situations in which she must handle spirit activity…the positive and the negative…and how she does that is how it can truly be done. I feel inspired while writing those stories. And where did I say inspiration comes from? Yeah…I feel spirit is helping me write the Tess Schafer series. I don’t doubt it a bit.

So anyway…the next time you think a spirit is haunting you, you now have options. Tell it to go away or communicate with it. But if you are not comfortable doing either of those things…find someone who will! Just remember, though, that we are all spiritual beings and you have within you the capability to deal with spirit…effectively and safely!!

Many blessings out to all and Peace Out!!


NDEI recently watched this video clip on Youtube that was posted in the blog Theosophy Watch and it really got me to thinking about the death experience and our reason for being here. I don’t know about you but I truly believe we live on after experiencing physical death. Our true essence is our “spirit” (our soul) and the soul cannot die. It’s been scientifically proven that we are beings of energy and energy cannot be destroyed. So there you have it!

Another thing is all the experiences countless millions (over the many years since humans walked the earth) have had involving ghosts, angels, near death experiences (NDEs), profound dreams, amazing spiritual phenomena, spirit contact, out of body experiences and so on. How can any of us say with certainty that dead is dead and that’s it? Honestly, the evidence stacked against that belief is too numerous to dismiss.

As for myself, I’ve experienced way too many of the above mentioned things to not believe in life after death. The one thing that has ever really bothered me most about “death” is those that happened violently. I just feel so awful for those people…imagining the horror and pain they must have endured before the relief of death. I would like to believe that even for them…the death experience was as peaceful as those who experienced a NDE have claimed it to be! Many spirits have claimed that their death wasn’t as bad for them as it seemed to us (the living). I guess we could liken it to the pain of childbirth (something I have experienced three times…without pain-killing drugs or epidurals!). As bad as the pain is…once the baby is out in the world, the pain is gone and all is forgotten. In fact, most of us (me!) were ready to do it again! I’d like to believe that even violent, painful deaths are like that. The memory like a bad dream that quickly fades into obscurity. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the spirit leaves the body when the trauma becomes too bad to endure and so they don’t really experience the worst of it. It’s a nice thought.

As for the video. It seems in all NDEs, the person wanting to cross over is told it isn’t time and that they must come back. So this tells me that those who didn’t come back…CHOSE to stay “over there”. It was their time and they were ready to move on (whether their loved ones left behind like it or not, unfortunately!). My grandfather suffered a stroke and was in a coma for several days before it was decided to remove him from life support. I really believe Grampy WANTED to move on but there we all were (his eight kids and numerous grandkids…me included!) begging him to hold on. Even though the doctors claimed he was “brain dead” it was a tough decision to “pull the plug”. The worry is always there if they did the right thing. Well, I managed to contact my grandfather through the process of automatic writing (scoff if you want but it really works and is an excellent form of communication with the other side!!). Now, I didn’t know anything about Grampy being removed from life support. I was in the military at the time and had already returned to my base when that decision was made. The family decided not to tell me how “it all went down” because my mom knew I’d be mad and she didn’t want me to be upset with her (she signed the order giving permission for the hospital to do the deed). First thing my Grampy did was tell me to let my mom know they had made the right decision. He said it was what he wanted but they wouldn’t let him go and he felt guilty about wanting to move on. (When they let the hospital remove him from life support, he saw that as his family giving him permission to do what he wanted. And he went. Happily.) There was more to the message and none of it made sense to me. In fact, I didn’t even want to tell my mother about it because I thought it would upset her. But she wheedled it out of me and when she got upset, I said, “See? I told you you wouldn’t like it!” and she said, “But I do. It’s exactly what I needed to hear!” Now my Nana (she died 3 months after Grampy)…she went the way I want to go. She died in her sleep and I am sure it was a very peaceful process for her. Much as I hated to lose them (it devastated me!), I only want what makes them happy and they are happy “over there”. Besides, they visit me often, they keeps tabs on the family and I feel their love every time I think about them. In spirit there is no separation.

So anyway, I went to read the Theosophy Watch blog and watched this video and I thought it a great topic for my own blog so I’ve reposted the video here. Though it is one woman’s “death” experience and sounds like so many other accounts of NDEs…going through a tunnel, seeing a light, being greeted…it also had a little something new that I found intriguing. She was told to come back and be a “light” in the world. She says that those (who are open to the spirit world) act as anchors for the “light” (God?) to come into our physical world. I found that quite interesting. She sounds like such a nice lady. Her voice is peaceful and you know she isn’t making it up. She just isn’t. It’s a little over five minutes and well worth the watch! Check it out.

So what do you think? She certainly doesn’t make death sound terrible and even though she was going through a horrific thing (her husband was choking her to death), she made no mention of that. None of it mattered. Amazing.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this! Until next time…Blessings to all and Peace Out!


101_0452As many of you who follow my blog know, I have been fascinated with the paranormal since living in a house I am convinced, beyond doubt, was haunted. I’ve since learned a lot and encountered a lot concerning the spirit world…as have many millions of others over the years! I’ve also been fascinated with books since I learned to read. As soon as I mastered writing…as much as an eight year old can master it!…I’ve been writing stories. Mostly, though, in the early years, I made up stories in my head…constantly! Many people in my life often accused me of being absent minded or claimed I had my “head in the clouds” or was “off in la la land” when the truth of it was quite simple…I was often lost in a story. I still tell myself stories when trying to fall asleep at night or when I’ve some idle time! I often rewrite a movie scene to my own satisfaction or I’ll rewrite scenes from a book I’m currently reading. It’s in my DNA. I swear it is. How does one NOT do something they feel so compelled to do? When something takes hold of you like that…I believe it’s your calling…what you were born to do. What you were meant to share with the world!

Although I read a LOT of romances, mostly regency and historical (but not limited to), I also LOVE stories involving ghosts!! They fascinate me to no end. This fascination has led me to try many things…crystal ball gazing, scrying (which is similar but doesn’t need a crystal ball, just any sort of shiny, clear surface), automatic writing, channeling, table tipping, séances, the Ouija or Spirit Boards. Yeah, I’ve dabbled quite a bit and the more I dabble, the more fascinated I become! Life truly does go on after physical death. For some of us, though, it’s easier for us to keep the two existences separated and beyond our conscious awareness. It can be quite scary, the spirit world…the UNSEEN. But for those who approach it with a pure heart…GOOD intentions and no malice whatsoever…well, I just don’t believe there is anything to fear. NOT to say there aren’t bad things going on. Obviously evil exists. Those who turn from LOVE (or, as I think of it…GOD) and who have negative feelings involved, they are the ones who fall to evil deeds or experiences.

Many people believe that anything to do with the paranormal is evil. Hogwash. GOD is part of the paranormal world and there is nothing evil about God. Not in MY BOOK! (smile). What makes something BAD is the use/thoughts/actions behind it. Even the Christian Cross has been used for evil deeds! But, does everyone think of it as an evil thing? No! Even the controversial gun has been used for good…keeping evil at bay even as some are using it to do atrocious, vile things!

I was completely shocked, disgusted and grief stricken at what took place in that poor school a short time back. How could anyone point a gun at a child…an innocent little child…and kill them? That is evil at it’s worst. Many people question how God could let something like that happen. But that’s the thing with this world we live in…we have this agreement with God that if we come here, we are free to act out our will. It’s what the rest of us do that determines the extent of the evil committed. Often in tragedy, people come together and something positive emerges out of it. Laws change, people look at things differently, appreciate what they have, give love to the grieving. LOVE often spikes after a tragedy. THAT is God at work…always working within us in the wake of a tragic deed.

Many of us utter the “meant to comfort” words, “They are now at peace with God, an angel in heaven” and I’m sure those of us who utter those words, mean it. We do. And that’s great. It really is. Of COURSE we hare happy that our loved one is at PEACE and now lives with GOD and is an ANGEL in HEAVEN but that doesn’t ease our pain, our sense of loss…the hole left in our heart, our soul and our life! I’m a mother of three, step-mother of four and grandmother to nine and the thought of losing any one of them makes my heart cringe in dread. It’s something I don’t EVER want to experience. But the grief would be worse if I didn’t believe their soul lived on in joy with God. Those of us who believe in the afterlife cling to that belief and try, somehow, to come to grips with tragic loss.

One way to move on is to make contact with a loved one who has crossed over. I recently started watching Long Island Medium and the show makes me cry just about every time! It’s so touching to see the relief on the faces of the grieving when Theresa (the medium) shares messages from “the other side”. It wasn’t until I experienced a similar experience that I truly understood the value of that kind of communication! When my grandparents died I was totally devastated. I truly wondered how I was going to go on through my life without them. I LOVED them with my whole heart and their deaths punched serious holes in that heart! Then one day, many years later, I experienced a spiritual reunion with my Nana. It was THE MOST AMAZING experience of my life!! I FELT her in my soul. I truly did. I don’t miss them so much anymore for they visit me in dreams, and when I am thinking about them…they will often give me a sign that they hear me! For example, my grandfather’s name is Lafayette. If I am thinking about him pretty hard, I’ll suddenly see his name…either on a license plate or a street sign…or from wherever! It’s not a common name and to see it right when I’m thinking about him is just too coincidental and let me tell you…coincidences are God (the afterlife) at work!!

For a while I was doing quite a bit of automatic writing and I managed to communicate with my grandfather this way. He gave me a few messages that made no sense to me but were made clear by my mother when talking to her about it. There was no WAY I could have known the things he told me. The messages could not have come from anyone else! Both my grandparents and my dearest uncle Paul (who died when I was 14 and he was 29) have come through a medium at the Spiritualist Church that I attend! The messages and descriptions made by the medium were too specific to claim coincidence! It was THEM. I KNOW it! I can’t even tell you how comforting that is to me!!

So, this fascination with the spirit world has influenced my writing considerably. All three of my books: “Be Still, My Love“, “Hidden Voices” and “No Matter What” are paranormal stories based on living persons dealing with the afterlife. As excited as I am to share those stories with anyone interested in those type of books, it’s the messages and emails I am getting from readers that truly warms my heart! People are telling me that they are finding comfort in my stories. How wonderful is that? I LOVE that someone feels BETTER after reading my books! We writers write for many reasons…to entertain, to amuse, to scare, to teach…the list goes on. I have been thinking hard about WHY I write. First, I write because the story in my head WANTS to be told but in the back of my mind, I am hoping that the readers come away from the story with something worthwhile. I want readers to think about other options and ideas and concepts. AND, I want them to be entertained! I want to share stories because I LOVE stories myself!!

It’s a tough world and I truly find the books I read to give me some relief from it all. The romances give me romance, the mysteries give me intrigue, the humor makes me laugh and the ghost stories give me thoughts to ponder. The thing is…creativity comes from where? I believe it comes from Universal Forces (GOD!). I am moved to create what I do for a reason. There has to be a REASON why I wrote those three books and when readers write to tell me that they feel better after reading them, well, it just all becomes worthwhile and meaningful. I will admit…in all fairness and honesty…that not everyone likes my stories! Oh no! I’ve been ripped into pretty good by those who don’t like stories that mention God or spiritual views (religious matter they call it…though I try to stay away from “religion” in any specific sense). My reviews on Amazon and Goodreads are varied: from very bad to very good. Obviously I’ve moved people in positive and negative ways! (sadly!) But then, we all get something different out of the books we read (or the movies we watch!), don’t we? Sorry as I am for those people who dislike my stories, I focus on those who feel better and have gotten something positive from the experience. I do this not because the dissatisfied readers aren’t important (besides, you CAN’T please everyone no matter how much you wish that you could!). No, I focus on the positive because it is NOT my intention to upset anyone! Heavens no! So if someone dislikes my story, I’m sorry for that and wish them well in finding stories that they do like but I’m not going to stop writing! The truth is, some people are going to be negative no matter what you do and that can’t be helped. We are in a “free will” world after all!!

So anyway. I write what I do because it fascinates me. It gives me comfort. I totally enjoy it and I really love it when readers get something useful and comforting from it! With all my heart, I wish you all many blessings! Until next time, PEACE OUT!!!

May the NEW YEAR be filled with blessings! Lots and lots of them!!!

PS: All three of my books are on sale for just 99 cents until January 1st if you are curious and want to check them out! But be warned…God is very much a part of the stories, but not too much so!! I’ve no wish to “preach” anything to anyone though they do offer some different spiritual views shared by the characters!


Is there "free will" in heaven? What...

Cover of "What the Bleep Do We Know!?"

If life operates under the concept of Fate, the idea that everything is predestined, then Free Will, the idea that we determine our own destiny, couldn’t possibly apply.  Right?  I think not! I truly believe that BOTH concepts play a significant role!  Let me explain.

I’ve pondered this for quite some time because of my belief in palmistry.  If our lives are “written in the palms of our hands” then what does it matter what we do?  Right?  Wrong!  The lines in our palms actually change as we change.  BUT, and that’s a big “but”, we often don’t change all that much.  Thus, the changes in your lines won’t be very noticeable to you…if you even notice such things.  We are, it seems, creatures of habit, stuck in our ways and stubborn as all get out to accept or undergo “change”.  We are probably designed that way for a reason…to make our lives challenging and difficult! As much as I dislike experiencing trying times, isn’t that when we seem to learn the most?  People who make it successfully through adversity often come out of it much better off than they were before!

But I digress.  I believe in palmistry and the fact that the lines in our hands indicate events that have happened and those that could happen.  Though, really, palmistry is more about learning who you are than anything.  Honestly, it’s quite an in-depth “manual” of the self!  So, if the lines in our palms indicate certain future events, are they then “fated” to happen or can they be changed through the use of “free will”?  It’s an interesting question and, as I stated at the beginning of this post, I believe both factor into the answer.  We can take what we know MIGHT happen and make choices to bring them about (if that’s what we want) OR we can make choices that will avert them from occurring (if that’s preferable).  You see?  We can go with “the plan” as it is now “predetermined” (fated) or we can change the destination through the use of Free Will.

I think this is how psychics operate.  When they give you a “reading”, they are plugged into the current course your life is on and thus, they can tell you what’s in your (probable) future based on that particular course.  HOWEVER, if you don’t like the direction you are going…CHANGE it!  Make decisions and choices that take you in the direction you do WANT to go.  It’s that simple.  Really.  Truly, hard as it may be to believe, life is simple.  For some odd reason, we make it much more difficult than it is!  I wonder why?  The scary part of divination is the fact that some people will accept their “fate” (thus LETTING the current course play out) even if it’s not what they want because they THINK they have no choice in the matter.  Nothing, folks, is written in stone.  Well, okay…one thing is pretty much a given for all…death.  Physical death anyway.  Our spirit (soul), the part of our self that lives eternally, simply returns to its true state of being…a state, I might add that is more “real” than the illusionary life we are now experiencing!  Life, for all it’s significance, is but a blip of time in the course of our existence.

I watch this show called “Fringe” and there are these bald headed guys on there, I think they are called “the observers”, who seem to know everything.  On one episode, an “observer” dude spoke with Olivia (a main character on the show) and told her that he had seen “every possible future” concerning her, and that statement made my mind buzz with thought.  I have watched “What the Bleep” many, many times (it’s an awesome, intriguing, thought-provoking movie and I highly recommend it!) and it basically is telling us that every possible thing that COULD happen, HAS done so!  We live in a world of parallel universes where all possible outcomes to every possible thing IS happening “at once” (this being possible because time…past, present and future…are occurring simultaneously).  I know, I know…it’s all quite confusing, a jumbled mess, but that’s because “the truth of all” is way beyond our human comprehension.  The brains we operate under can only handle just so much!  Things must make logical sense to us or we are not going to accept it.  It’s for that very reason that meditation is so important!  Our brains go to “sleep” during meditative states and our spirit comes forth front and center!  Now, when operating within our spiritual self, everything can suddenly make sense and be crystal clear to us.  This is because our soul-self can grasp what our logical brain cannot.  But, I don’t want to dis our brains because we sort of need them to live in this physical world of ours.  And honestly, it isn’t our brain causing the confusion or making things difficult…it’s our Ego, the part of our personality under which we are who we are, that is doing that.  Difficult as our Egos may be, we need them to be that way in order to stay grounded in life.  Otherwise, we’d zip off into spirit and forgo earthly hardships.  I mean, really.  Why go through this if we don’t have to?  If we truly understood “the other side” then we wouldn’t be hanging around here!  The fact of it is, we came here (into physical life) for a reason and the only way to accomplish that mission is to bury our spiritual self deep within our subconscious, undergo a sort of amnesia concerning our “true” identity, and operate within the confines of our Ego.

I had what I consider a profound dream one night (dreams are our connection to the spiritual side of our existence and to our soul).  I dreamed I was on “the other side” preparing for Earthly life (physical birth) and having a last minute discussion with my angel friends.  I told them that I was determined not to forget them and my true identity.  They told me that once I entered the earth plane (physical existence), I wouldn’t be able to help myself.  Our memories of truth fade into obscurity because that’s how it has to be.  “No,” I told them.  “I’m not going to let that happen this time!”  So I climb this spiral staircase (symbolic of my “birth” into earthly life) and I continuously look down at my angel friends as I climb higher and higher (an interesting perspective considering we think of ourselves as coming “down” from heaven).  Finally I reach the top and have to step off the staircase onto “earth” which is a flat plane that stretches as far as I can see…getting darker and darker as it goes.  I reluctantly leave the staircase and light shining from below and begin my journey through life.  As I do so, however, I periodically look back toward the staircase (and the only source of light I might add!)  The further I go, the less I can see of that light and the darker it gets.  As I move along, I pass different scenes (which I think represent events or periods of time in my life).  Some are good, some bad and after each one (especially the bad ones!) I glance back at that staircase to remind myself of its existence and its truth.  “So far, so good,” I think to myself as I continue on.  I’m pretty proud of the fact that I haven’t forgotten!  But then as I go deeper into the dark, I am afraid to turn around because I don’t trust having that darkness and what might lurk within it at my back!  Finally, however, I glance behind me…I don’t see the staircase anymore or the light shining from below it.  And as I look, I am wondering what it is I am looking for!  I woke up immediately after that feeling quite disturbed.  That’s how life seems to work.  We get so deep into the darkness of adversity that we can no longer see the light and once we lose sight of that connection, we no longer remember who we truly are!  But you know…it’s still there!  I just need to keep reminding myself about that.

I mentioned that there is only one final destination that we all must face and that is physical death.  But is it “fated” WHEN that is to occur?  I hear all the time “when it’s your time to go, you’ve got to go” and I wonder about that statement.  Who determines when it is time?  Do we determine that or God?  Well, here again, I believe that both concepts of Fate and Free Will apply.  We can either accept our “fate” and let death happen OR we can decide to hang around a little longer!  In the end, I truly believe it’s up to us.  This is why we all hear stories of how people defied death against all odds or why death occurred when it wouldn’t seem likely that such a thing could happen.  Life is a mystery.  I love a good mystery.  Don’t you?

So, what are your thoughts on the matter?  Care to share them with me?  We are all spiritual beings capable of bringing forth interesting thoughts and ideas…one of the best things you can do is share them!  It matters not if people agree or disagree.  It’s the discussion that arises that makes it worthwhile!  We do love our discussions don’t we?  They may get heated and spark controversy but that’s what helps us figure things out!  Its those controversies, discussions and ideas that help us define who we are and what we believe.  I can tell you this much…when I hear something I either agree with or not…it helps me understand who I am and what I stand for!  The fact of it is, we are all where we are based on what we’ve come to know, like it or not.  The awesome thing about this is that if you don’t like it, you can certainly CHANGE it!  And that, my friends, is our reason for being here, our “soul” purpose for living!!

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!


I blog a lot about the paranormal because the afterlife fascinates me.  I do not doubt that once our bodies have expired, our souls live on.  I KNOW this to be true.   Although I find that quite comforting, it doesn’t stop me from missing loved ones (to include animals!) who have crossed into the “great beyond” (which is really just a different level of consciousness!).  My first brushes with death were the loss of pets (I still miss them all and some have been gone for many, many years!).  Their deaths were quite devastating to my young life.  And then when I was fourteen, I lost a family member that I loved very much — my wonderful Uncle Paul.  He was the BEST!  Paul was one of those people who was a shining light in the world.  His presence was always uplifting.  I admired him so much and I thought he was one of the best people ever.  Then, at the young age of 29, he died…struck down suddenly by a brain aneurysm.  What a shocking blow to my world.

At the time of his death, I was living in the haunted house I’ve blogged about many times.  So, I knew that our spirit … our soul … lived on but that didn’t stop me from being incredibly sad to lose my dear uncle.  I wanted his physical presence in my life and besides, I wasn’t sure how to communicate with those on the other side at that point in my life.  Truth be told, I was quite afraid of it.  That’s because at least one of the entities sharing our home with us was not a nice one.  No.  But this isn’t about that.

Although I had dabbled with the Ouija board, it wasn’t until many years later that I truly began to explore making contact with “the other side” or as I call it in my book “Be Still, My Love”…the Tri-State, that place between earthly life, heaven and hell.  A place where souls can hang out and communicate with us!  I found this to be a relatively easy thing to do through the means of automatic writing.  For those who don’t know what that is, it is when you use paper and a pen and invite those in spirit to speak to you through written messages.  When it’s actually happening, your hand will just start moving…seemingly without any effort from you!…and message will come through.  It’s as easy to do (for me anyway) as the Ouija board (which has a lot of negative press but that’s because it is too easy a tool to use and people don’t take it seriously enough to operate it properly!).  When I first started doing automatic writing, I managed to contact my grandparents (two of my most favorite people ever!).  It was really nice to connect with them again and have some closure (I was in the military when they died and didn’t even get to attend their funerals).  I know it was them I made contact with and I don’t care what anyone else says about it.  I know my Nana and Grampy and I FELT them, their spirit, their love, when communicating with them.

It wasn’t until a few years ago, however, that I finally got a message from my dear uncle Paul!  It was during my second visit to a local Spiritualist Church (of which I am now a member!) that it happened.  The medium bringing messages through happened to be the Pastor for the church.  He described my uncle perfectly and he even knew how he died and when!  I was in the process of working on my book and my uncle was giving me a positive message to continue with my writing! He was a major influence on my writing pursuits because he believed in me and encouraged me to keep doing it NO MATTER WHAT (the title of the first book I wrote and hope to have out in a few months!).  The following week at church, my Nana came through!  Now for you skeptics, I have to tell you…the medium knew way too much for it to be a lucky coincidence.  The message wasn’t vague and the medium’s description couldn’t have been applied to anyone else…it was very specific to my Nana, as Paul’s description was very specific to him.

I mentioned the above because I wanted to establish to you what I believe and why.  In my book “Be Still, My Love” the main character Tess Schafer is a medium.  Her husband and dog are killed by a drunk driver and Tess is devastated by the loss.  Part of her grief has to do with her beliefs.  You see, Tess believes (as do I) that death is not something that happens to us AGAINST OUR WILL.  Now, a LOT of people are going to argue with that and have.  I’ve even had a pretty critical review posted on Amazon over this particular issue.   I need to make it clear that on a CONSCIOUS level, MOST of us do not willingly go to our deaths.  We are born with a very strong instinct for survival.  Except in certain situations (suicides and terminal illness for instance) death is not a choice we consciously make.  But the thing about this issue is that if God makes the decision on when we die…then how is it that we have Free Will?  Do we have Free Will in everything BUT that?  I think not…it’s just too important an issue for us to have no say in the matter.  Now, when it comes time to die, I do believe that it is on a very deep level…SOUL deep…that the final decision is made.  This might explain the sudden return to life that is made after death has been declared! (Although the soul had obviously vacated the premises, a change in plans had to of occurred.  More than likely they were talked into returning because most reports of people who had a “near death experience” report NOT WANTING to return to life…even if they had a strong desire to live prior to the situation in hand!).  I believe that when people are in a coma they are actually “in review” of their lives and trying to decide what to do (again, on a very deep level…our Ego, the personality that we are in this earthly life, has no say in the matter.  Because, honestly, if our Ego had its way, we’d live forever!).  I could be wrong about this but I could be right.  Who knows?  Someday we all will.

So anyway, Tess struggled with her belief on this issue because if she was right about it, then that meant her husband agreed to depart his earthly life and leave her a widow.  She couldn’t accept that.  It is quite understandable that she feel that way because she loved him, he loved her, they were happy, had a good life…why would he leave all that?  But the thing is…we all have an agenda when we are born.  We come into earthly life hoping to accomplish something…maybe many things…but the point is, we all have a PURPOSE for entering physical life.  Once that purpose is met, we “cross over” (return) to our spiritual life (a state of “living” that we enjoy immensely by the way!).  Truly, if we all remembered from where we came and where we are headed when done with this physical life, many of us would be checking out a lot sooner than we end up doing!  I don’t know about you but I’ve gone through enough crap in my life that I’ve thought “What the hell is the point?  I’m so DONE with this!” and I tell ya, I’d have willingly crossed over if my instinct for survival wasn’t as strong as it is!  I mean really… life is freakin HARD!  It’s challenging and full of obstacles and strife and heartache and so on and so on.  Thank God for that survival instinct or we wouldn’t be having a population growth.  No.  But, when we come to that point where it’s a live or die situation, that’s when our soul (our true self) comes forward to take over.

I wrote a paper about this issue for a college English assignment and my professor for that course was quite pissed.  She scribbled all over that paper and then wrote “SEE ME” at the bottom.  Her father had recently died of a heart attack.  She informed me that there was “NO WAY” he WANTED to die and that my paper was a “load of crap”.  I’d hit a nerve…she was still grieving over her loss and for me to suggest that her dear father wanted to die didn’t sit well with her.  It wouldn’t.  We are programmed to love life and to cling to it no matter what.  As a result of that programming, we hate death, we fear it and we certainly want nothing more than to avoid it!  Besides, who wants to say goodbye to a loved one on such a permanent basis?  (permanent until we meet again when our own death occurs that is!).  I know that the losses I’ve suffered have left huge holes in my life.  You can’t fill those holes.  They stay there until our own life ends and leaves a hole in someone else’s life.  It’s a sucks-ass system but it is what it is.  It sucks even more (in my book anyway) to think that those who have died, might have done so UNwillingly!  To have them ripped from life without their consent seems so WRONG to me and a very UNloving thing for God to do!

When I was eighteen, I went through an experience in which I thought for sure I was about to die.  And I have to tell ya, I didn’t expect it to be a peaceful death either!  I was truly expecting a horrific end.  Oddly, as I stared death in the face, I felt quite calm inside (yeah, my heart was pounding so hard it hurt but my spirit was calm).  I was visiting friends in Virginia at the time and it was quite late in the evening.  I was sitting in their darkened kitchen (a small light over the sink was on) and talking on the phone to a guy I’d met the night before.  I was sitting next to the garage door.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that the door had opened but I paid no attention to it. Then I heard the heavy breathing.  I turned my head and froze, literally, to complete immobility.  I couldn’t utter a sound and I’m not sure if I was even breathing!  Standing there about a foot from me was a person dressed in a long trench coat, black boots, a black ski mask, black gloves and a dark hat.  One gloved hand held a very large shiny butcher knife.  It was held up high and pointed at me as if poised to plunge.  I remember the blade caught the light from over the sink and glistened as it moved in rhythm with its holder’s breathing.  My life was over.  In a flash I understood this and though I can tell you I didn’t WANT to die, there was a part of me that accepted what was about to happen.  When you think you have no choice, I think that’s when our soul comes forward to help us through the situation.  That’s the only explanation I can come up with.  And that whole “your life flashes before your eyes” thing?  Yeah, that happens…in an INSTANT.  My entire life was AT ONCE remembered…ALL of it.  It’s a very hard thing to explain.  After this instant life review came other thoughts.  I worried about my family, how they would take my death and that was my biggest regret.  I worried about how much it was going to hurt and I hoped that it happened quickly.  Chasing that thought was the question on whether I should keep my eyes open (I could blink at this point and that was it) or if I should close them.  I decided that I couldn’t close them and not KNOW when it was going to happen.  Chasing that decision was the wish that I could get my voice back so I could warn my friends in the next room.  I dearly hoped that they would make it out of the house while I was being butchered to death.  In that respect, I did hope my death wasn’t too quick for I truly wanted my friends to live.  I had no doubt, none at all, that I was going to die.  And then, incredibly, the person standing there began to laugh.  It was one of my friends pulling a prank on me.  She pulled the ski mask off and bent over in a fit of mirth (apparently my expression was beyond funny).  “You should see your face!” she gasped as I began to shake uncontrollably in relief.  It was the worst joke ever.  But it taught me something.  When facing death, there is a calm acceptance of it deep within.  Remember…our souls know that “death” is not final and is actually a release back to our true self and the beautiful pain-free, stress-free, hate-free loving existence that awaits us.

I’ve even experienced “death” in dreams!  I do wonder if those dreams were actually a past life memory because they sure did seem real.  What I remember most is how peaceful it was.  I think part of our grief is the thought that someone we love and would do anything for had somehow suffered.  It’s bad enough to lose someone but to think that they may have suffered in the transition is too much to bear.  I don’t know quite what I think about this other than it is my hope that our soul takes the personality out of the situation and leaves only the body shell to get through a terrible end…such as fire (which to me has to be one of the absolute worst ways to die!).  Speaking of which, there was a terrible story this past Christmas Eve about a house fire in which a woman lost her two young daughters and her parents.  I don’t know how someone survives a tragedy like that.  That poor woman not only had to suffer the loss of her children and parents (the most important people to her in all the world) but she had to deal with the fact that they died in a fire!  They tried to escape, of course, and didn’t make it.  You know their last moments of life was lived in horror.  Or was it?  Did their souls come forth and get them through it?  Did the angels take them away as their bodies perished?  I’d like to think so.  What I do know is that they are now living in a beautiful place and the mother/daughter they left behind is living in hell.  What sort of karma is she balancing?  For something that horrible to happen…it had to have been something that was planned in spirit BEFORE their earthly births.  I’m here to tell you, no matter what I believe…I KNOW I could not deal with something like that.  I pray for that woman, I really do.  I pray she somehow finds some peace as she continues out her life.

I don’t know why horrible things happen.  I don’t understand the evils of the world.  But I do know this…our soul will one day be released from the trap of physical life and return to the beautiful existence of spirit.  And I don’t think that our moment of death is going to be as traumatic as we might think (if only we could all just die peaceably of extreme old age in our sleep!).

I have questions about it all.  Of course I do.  One way I try to figure things out is through writing.  As I continue to write stories including Tess, I find myself learning things right along with her.  After all, the inspiration for her story is coming from somewhere…I believe it comes from the Universal Conscience which is, basically, God.

Okay, that’s enough for now!  What do you think?  It’s a touchy issue, I know.  It’s a depressing one.  For those of us left behind anyway!  I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!

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