Tag Archive: Ouija



2012-10-26 20.43.06Come October, the general focus seems to sway toward all things spooky! Halloween is the last day of the month, yet it’s advertised from day one and sometimes before October even arrives! Although this is most often a time for terrifying movies, television shows and horror books, it doesn’t have to be all “horror, terror and gore, oh my!”

The fact is, Halloween evolved from ancient traditions concerning the after life! It’s supposed to be the time of year when the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. Fortune Telling, Divination and Spirit Contact are all more easily done during this very interesting time of year. So, it’s understandable, given that, how the focus has evolved over time to what it is today.

Honestly, I am no different. I worked like crazy to get Rosemary’s Ghosts ready for release this month! But truly, it’s the perfect book for Halloween. Even if I have to say so myself. The thing is…my character Tess Schafer, a very gifted medium, understands the relevance of Halloween and that comes through in the story. Besides that, I love sharing what I’ve learned about the paranormal through story-telling. For instance…Tess and Rosemary (a poor, sweet lady being terrorized by ghosts!) have a session of table tipping!

Have you ever done any table tipping? Do you know what it is? It isn’t anything like “cow tipping” (which I’ve never done by the way!), if that’s what came to mind! Most people have heard of the Ouija board I’m sure. The thing about the Ouija is that is acts as a portal to the spirit world. Which is great for those wanting to communicate with spirit, BUT it can bring through all manner of entities. You have to operate it with responsibility and most people who “play” with this so-called “game” don’t understand that! Whenever you seek to interact with “spirit” (the other side), you should know what you are doing and maintain control of the situation. Otherwise, well…who knows what you’ll inadvertently bring through! There are bad, evil entities lurking “over there” just looking for an opportunity to lurk around HERE! But I digress…I want to talk about table tipping.

Unlike the Ouija board, tables do not act as portals to spirit. They are simply a “tool” if you will, for talking to spirit. So, table tipping is much safer. One word of caution though…you can still bring through negative entities if you open it up to “whoever wants to come through and talk…please do!” Always make it clear that you want to  talk to GOOD, LOVING, POSITIVE spirits. If you get a bad vibe, bad messages and bad behavior…END the session.  I’ve had strong “spirited” folks come through but nothing bad.

2013-10-26 05.34.58table tipping tableTable tipping is one of those activities perfect for Halloween time! Just get yourself a small table…round is best but a square one will do (I’ve used a card table with no problem). The legs should not be flush with the edges of the table. They CAN be flush, it will still work, but it’s EASIER for spirit energy to tip a table when the legs are not flush with the edges of the table. For people who haven’t done this before, are a little nervous about it and have skeptics in their midst, the legs NOT being flush will be much easier for the spirits to operate. Make it clear to everyone who is participating in the table-tipping session that you will only welcome good, loving, honest and positive spirits! It’s even best if you request certain ones…departed family members, friends or the like. I like to say a prayer at the beginning of each session…prayer promotes positive energy and keeps the negative vibes away. Once you are ready, gather around the table and lightly rest your hands flat upon it. Don’t push down and don’t hover your hands above it. I see some people in table-tipping sessions whose hands slide across the table as it moves…if the hands are sliding across the table then you are not resting your hands upon it! (to the left are some examples of tables…I’ve used both of these. The one on the right works great…my mother made it for me!! Cool huh?)

I’m no expert about spirit stuff, but I have my own thoughts about how I think things work and it’s my belief that those in spirit use our personal energy field to make the table move. Since we are here operating within a physical world, our energy is strong (it has to be in order for us to exist here!) and interacts with things of this world quite easily. Spirit, on the other hand, operates within the spirit world and so their energy is different. All energy has movement (vibration) and spirit energy is moving (vibrating) at an incredible rate…much, much faster than the energy that makes up our physical world. That’s why it’s hard to see them (they are moving too fast…think of a fan blade on high speed…can you see it? No!) But it’s not impossible. And that’s a different story.

So anyway, by placing your hands flat on the table, resting them there gently, your personal energy becomes connected to the table’s energy and the spirit coming through can easily manipulate it through you. When the table starts moving, you’ll “feel” a different sort of energy  and know something is going on! The table will move in such a way that you’ll think someone else at the table is doing it. The good thing about this is that you’ll KNOW for sure it wasn’t you doing it! If everyone at the table is being honest, then rest assured, they aren’t causing the table to move…spirit is doing the work! For some reason, whenever I’m involved in a table-tipping session, I laugh a lot. It’s all good energy and good, positive energy is uplifting, so laughter is fine. In fact, laughter raises your personal energy to a higher degree (increases your vibrational speed) and table-tipping becomes even easier! Singing helps to get the energy going strong as well.

Once the table starts moving…it will shake, shimmy and tip…then take charge of it. State your intentions…whether you want someone specific or not…and make it clear, again, that you will allow only positive spirit energy to come through. Then you set the “rules” for engagement. I do it this way: “We will ask you questions and we want you to tip the table once for yes responses and tip the table twice for no responses.” Now, you can change that around if you want but that’s how I do it. If you want to receive messages then you instruct the spirit to tip the table for each letter of the alphabet, stopping on the letter they want. It’s time consuming to get messages because you have to tip the table for each letter of every word in the message. Sometimes the spirits get so active and impatient that the table tips so fast it becomes confusing what letter they are trying to give!

Another thing the table will often do is tip toward someone operating it and rest against them. Gentle efforts to push the table’s legs back down to the floor will meet resistance. I call these moments “hugs”. It’s quite common for a loved one who has come through to give “hugs” and it’s really quite an emotional moment. Honestly, you can “feel” their energy. Sometimes the table will even “walk” across the floor … often heading towards someone not operating the table (they are either trying to let that person know they want to talk to them…or they might be wanting to give a hug!). The thing to remember is to not resist the table’s movements and not to help it either!

Most often the case will be that while a table is tipping out a message, the operators will get a strong feel for what the word is…even if only one letter has been completed. This is because the spirit is actually mingling with our energy and their messages will filter right into our thoughts. This is basically how a medium works…they allow spirits to come right on into their thoughts. The thing about those in spirit is they don’t really use WORDS once they cross over. Words are too limiting (and this eliminates all language barriers as well!). They communicate through feelings and so that’s why it’s hard sometimes to understand a message coming through. They are trying to convey a feeling to you and you are trying to put it into specific words.  This is also why symbols are often used (for medium or psychic work, and especially in dreams!). But you don’t have to worry about trying to interpret symbols or anything when you are table-tipping.

It’s all good fun, really! There SHOULD be lots of laughter and enjoyment. Interaction with spirit should be a POSITIVE experience.

Rosemary's Ghosts (angel) 10-19-13I wrote this post in celebration of the release of my book “Rosemary’s Ghosts” and focused it on table-tipping because my characters have a pretty cool table-tipping session in the story!

So, have any of you tried it? Are you going to? Tell us about it!!

Until next time, many blessings to all of you and Peace Out!

Oh, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!


101_0452As many of you who follow my blog know, I have been fascinated with the paranormal since living in a house I am convinced, beyond doubt, was haunted. I’ve since learned a lot and encountered a lot concerning the spirit world…as have many millions of others over the years! I’ve also been fascinated with books since I learned to read. As soon as I mastered writing…as much as an eight year old can master it!…I’ve been writing stories. Mostly, though, in the early years, I made up stories in my head…constantly! Many people in my life often accused me of being absent minded or claimed I had my “head in the clouds” or was “off in la la land” when the truth of it was quite simple…I was often lost in a story. I still tell myself stories when trying to fall asleep at night or when I’ve some idle time! I often rewrite a movie scene to my own satisfaction or I’ll rewrite scenes from a book I’m currently reading. It’s in my DNA. I swear it is. How does one NOT do something they feel so compelled to do? When something takes hold of you like that…I believe it’s your calling…what you were born to do. What you were meant to share with the world!

Although I read a LOT of romances, mostly regency and historical (but not limited to), I also LOVE stories involving ghosts!! They fascinate me to no end. This fascination has led me to try many things…crystal ball gazing, scrying (which is similar but doesn’t need a crystal ball, just any sort of shiny, clear surface), automatic writing, channeling, table tipping, séances, the Ouija or Spirit Boards. Yeah, I’ve dabbled quite a bit and the more I dabble, the more fascinated I become! Life truly does go on after physical death. For some of us, though, it’s easier for us to keep the two existences separated and beyond our conscious awareness. It can be quite scary, the spirit world…the UNSEEN. But for those who approach it with a pure heart…GOOD intentions and no malice whatsoever…well, I just don’t believe there is anything to fear. NOT to say there aren’t bad things going on. Obviously evil exists. Those who turn from LOVE (or, as I think of it…GOD) and who have negative feelings involved, they are the ones who fall to evil deeds or experiences.

Many people believe that anything to do with the paranormal is evil. Hogwash. GOD is part of the paranormal world and there is nothing evil about God. Not in MY BOOK! (smile). What makes something BAD is the use/thoughts/actions behind it. Even the Christian Cross has been used for evil deeds! But, does everyone think of it as an evil thing? No! Even the controversial gun has been used for good…keeping evil at bay even as some are using it to do atrocious, vile things!

I was completely shocked, disgusted and grief stricken at what took place in that poor school a short time back. How could anyone point a gun at a child…an innocent little child…and kill them? That is evil at it’s worst. Many people question how God could let something like that happen. But that’s the thing with this world we live in…we have this agreement with God that if we come here, we are free to act out our will. It’s what the rest of us do that determines the extent of the evil committed. Often in tragedy, people come together and something positive emerges out of it. Laws change, people look at things differently, appreciate what they have, give love to the grieving. LOVE often spikes after a tragedy. THAT is God at work…always working within us in the wake of a tragic deed.

Many of us utter the “meant to comfort” words, “They are now at peace with God, an angel in heaven” and I’m sure those of us who utter those words, mean it. We do. And that’s great. It really is. Of COURSE we hare happy that our loved one is at PEACE and now lives with GOD and is an ANGEL in HEAVEN but that doesn’t ease our pain, our sense of loss…the hole left in our heart, our soul and our life! I’m a mother of three, step-mother of four and grandmother to nine and the thought of losing any one of them makes my heart cringe in dread. It’s something I don’t EVER want to experience. But the grief would be worse if I didn’t believe their soul lived on in joy with God. Those of us who believe in the afterlife cling to that belief and try, somehow, to come to grips with tragic loss.

One way to move on is to make contact with a loved one who has crossed over. I recently started watching Long Island Medium and the show makes me cry just about every time! It’s so touching to see the relief on the faces of the grieving when Theresa (the medium) shares messages from “the other side”. It wasn’t until I experienced a similar experience that I truly understood the value of that kind of communication! When my grandparents died I was totally devastated. I truly wondered how I was going to go on through my life without them. I LOVED them with my whole heart and their deaths punched serious holes in that heart! Then one day, many years later, I experienced a spiritual reunion with my Nana. It was THE MOST AMAZING experience of my life!! I FELT her in my soul. I truly did. I don’t miss them so much anymore for they visit me in dreams, and when I am thinking about them…they will often give me a sign that they hear me! For example, my grandfather’s name is Lafayette. If I am thinking about him pretty hard, I’ll suddenly see his name…either on a license plate or a street sign…or from wherever! It’s not a common name and to see it right when I’m thinking about him is just too coincidental and let me tell you…coincidences are God (the afterlife) at work!!

For a while I was doing quite a bit of automatic writing and I managed to communicate with my grandfather this way. He gave me a few messages that made no sense to me but were made clear by my mother when talking to her about it. There was no WAY I could have known the things he told me. The messages could not have come from anyone else! Both my grandparents and my dearest uncle Paul (who died when I was 14 and he was 29) have come through a medium at the Spiritualist Church that I attend! The messages and descriptions made by the medium were too specific to claim coincidence! It was THEM. I KNOW it! I can’t even tell you how comforting that is to me!!

So, this fascination with the spirit world has influenced my writing considerably. All three of my books: “Be Still, My Love“, “Hidden Voices” and “No Matter What” are paranormal stories based on living persons dealing with the afterlife. As excited as I am to share those stories with anyone interested in those type of books, it’s the messages and emails I am getting from readers that truly warms my heart! People are telling me that they are finding comfort in my stories. How wonderful is that? I LOVE that someone feels BETTER after reading my books! We writers write for many reasons…to entertain, to amuse, to scare, to teach…the list goes on. I have been thinking hard about WHY I write. First, I write because the story in my head WANTS to be told but in the back of my mind, I am hoping that the readers come away from the story with something worthwhile. I want readers to think about other options and ideas and concepts. AND, I want them to be entertained! I want to share stories because I LOVE stories myself!!

It’s a tough world and I truly find the books I read to give me some relief from it all. The romances give me romance, the mysteries give me intrigue, the humor makes me laugh and the ghost stories give me thoughts to ponder. The thing is…creativity comes from where? I believe it comes from Universal Forces (GOD!). I am moved to create what I do for a reason. There has to be a REASON why I wrote those three books and when readers write to tell me that they feel better after reading them, well, it just all becomes worthwhile and meaningful. I will admit…in all fairness and honesty…that not everyone likes my stories! Oh no! I’ve been ripped into pretty good by those who don’t like stories that mention God or spiritual views (religious matter they call it…though I try to stay away from “religion” in any specific sense). My reviews on Amazon and Goodreads are varied: from very bad to very good. Obviously I’ve moved people in positive and negative ways! (sadly!) But then, we all get something different out of the books we read (or the movies we watch!), don’t we? Sorry as I am for those people who dislike my stories, I focus on those who feel better and have gotten something positive from the experience. I do this not because the dissatisfied readers aren’t important (besides, you CAN’T please everyone no matter how much you wish that you could!). No, I focus on the positive because it is NOT my intention to upset anyone! Heavens no! So if someone dislikes my story, I’m sorry for that and wish them well in finding stories that they do like but I’m not going to stop writing! The truth is, some people are going to be negative no matter what you do and that can’t be helped. We are in a “free will” world after all!!

So anyway. I write what I do because it fascinates me. It gives me comfort. I totally enjoy it and I really love it when readers get something useful and comforting from it! With all my heart, I wish you all many blessings! Until next time, PEACE OUT!!!

May the NEW YEAR be filled with blessings! Lots and lots of them!!!

PS: All three of my books are on sale for just 99 cents until January 1st if you are curious and want to check them out! But be warned…God is very much a part of the stories, but not too much so!! I’ve no wish to “preach” anything to anyone though they do offer some different spiritual views shared by the characters!


I’ve been interested in the paranormal since I was a little girl. Living in a haunted house will do that to you. Weird stuff happens and once you get over the terror of it, you begin to look for understanding. Here’s the thing…I KNOW that house was haunted. Ghosts lived there with us and the older I got, the more I wanted to know WHY. After we moved out of that house, I continued to read up on things but my paranormal experiences sort of cooled off for a bit. My prophetic dreams stopped occurring and though we had a few bizarre events happen in our new house (sink faucet coming on full blast, burners on the gas stove spontaneously lighting, a blender suddenly springing into action), things were relatively quiet. I was mostly involved with reading palms at this point and studying up on how such a thing could be so darned accurate! Ever had your palms read…by a LEGITIMATE palm reader? You should. Your palm is like your personal memoir. Fascinating stuff.

So anyway, life chilled for a bit on the paranormal end but then I joined the Air Force and was sent to Korea for a year. I had to leave my infant son (my first born!) and that was tough. Let me tell you, it was rip-your-heart-0ut TOUGH. I did a lot of drinking when I first got there. Thought it would get my mind off my baby. It didn’t of course. In fact, it made things worse. Then one night I started telling some friends about my living in a haunted house and they wanted to know it all. When I got to the parts about using the Ouija board, they got the bright idea that we should do that. And so my paranormal experiences began to happen again. We had some really interesting conversations on that Ouija. Let me tell you. Now, I know people will say that it’s evil and all that and I suppose it can be. After all, the Ouija opens a door to the other side. One must be responsible when opening doors like that! Unfortunately, not many people take the necessary precautions to ensure no negative entities come through. I’ve always been careful and can proudly say that I’ve not had any negative experiences with the Ouija. It honestly is one of the EASIEST forms of spirit contact. Maybe because people treat it like a game and so they let their guards down, lower their defenses and relaxes the all-protective EGO. When you truly ALLOW spirit contact to happen…it will.

After my year in Korea was over, I reunited with my son…now 18 months old, walking, talking … doing all those things he wasn’t doing when I left him (he stayed with my parents for the year I was away for his dad went to Korea the same time as I did). Upon my return to the States, my husband and I initiated divorce proceedings (they had a saying in Korea that those stationed over there would come back single if they were married, married if they were single and if neither of those applied then they probably became alcoholics … and yes, there were a few exceptions to this rule, I wasn’t one of them).  For awhile it was just me and my son and it was wonderful to reconnect with him. I thought he was pretty fascinating. He talked very well for his age and so we could actually have conversations. One day he comes to me (he’s not yet two remember) and says, “Mommy, where is my wife? I miss her.” And so began a bizarre period of time where my son was obsessed about his life “as a man” and death. One night while tucking him into bed, he looked so very sad and I asked him what was wrong. He says, “I don’t want to die again. I don’t like it.” Can you imagine how I felt during conversations like this? He was only two. What to say? For the next three years, my son continued to talk about things that happened to him “when he was a man”.  When he was four, he started talking about his time in the military as a pilot in the Korean war! Now, I ask you…what would he know about such things? I did not watch war movies and neither did he. We were living in Germany by this time and didn’t even have television! So, because of that, I began to read up on reincarnation. The whole subject totally fascinated me and still does. I even wrote a book in which reincarnation plays a big role (No Matter What which I hope to have published in ebook by October!! Just in time for Halloween!)

My son was three when I remarried and I was pregnant with my second child when we arrived in Germany. My paranormal endeavors went on another hiatus. We came back to the States with three kids…two daughters were born while I was stationed in Germany. As it happened, I went through yet another marriage break-up (do you know how high the divorce rate is with military members!? It’s a tough life). This break-up really devastated me. My first divorce was quite friendly. We didn’t fight, we just didn’t suit as a couple. But my second one…boy, it brought me down to my lowest points. When your life is falling apart, you can cry about it (which I did in excess!) or you can try to pull yourself together and get on with it. This I did eventually do but I went through quite the spiritual reformation while doing it. I needed to know WHY things happened the way they did. I needed to understand why my life was so messed up! Divorce can really damage your sense of self-worth and totally ruin your self-esteem (not to mention the financial devastation which is another whole set of worries!). I hit a critical low period in my life and turned to God for help. I began studying about angels (they are so awesome!!) and I began to truly believe that God takes care of us if we let him. When we try to control things ourselves without God’s help, well, that’s when things go awry. Little miracles began to happen (I’ve blogged about some of it, see God, Money, Faith) My belief factor went up and things got better and better. It was during this time that I discovered Automatic Writing.

Automatic Writing is allowing spirit to speak to you through hand writing. You can also allow them to come through on the keyboard. It’s basically a form of channeling. As I didn’t have a keyboard at the time (home computers hadn’t put in an appearance much at this point), I used a notepad and a pencil. I meditated (another thing I was learning to do!) and then I started writing! Many spirits came through and brought messages that were helpful. I moved from Automatic Writing to channeling a beautiful spirit I called Sheila (yes, I use her in my book Be Still, My Love and in its sequel Hidden Voices which will be out soon!). I didn’t use a pen and paper with her, I just allowed her to speak through me. I was remarried by this time and my new husband was quite involved with this process. We were both fascinated by Sheila and the things she told us. I had some really amazing experiences with her. Now, I have to tell you that I often questioned these experiences and wondered if it were all coming from my imagination. But I also have to tell you that while Sheila was speaking, I was thinking all sorts of things…ever try to talk and say one thing while having a completely different conversation go on in your head at the same time? This happened quite a bit because I often speculated on the things Sheila shared. Half the time I missed what she was saying because I was busying trying to counter something else she’d said! (we taped every session so I wouldn’t miss out on anything). It was an eye-opening experience and all of it was getting me more and more involved in the world of the paranormal.

Then this marriage went really bad. I can’t say what happened, it’s all so very personal but I will say that I didn’t really know the man I married. Looking back on it, I don’t regret a thing, no matter how bad it got, because it has all led me to where I am now and I like where I am. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Though I wish my kids hadn’t had to go through all that crap too. Life lessons are HARD! For awhile I was mad at God and even the poor angels. I couldn’t understand  how they would let things get so bad. After all the prophetic dreams, all the channeling work, the messages from spirit…WHY did this crap have to happen? Once that marriage ended, my life began to really turn around. It’s been all up hill from there, I’m happy to report! I found the man of my dreams and he’s very understanding about my paranormal interests. He’s also very supportive of my writing and he’s been the BEST father to our kids.

They say that the third time is the charm…for me it took four. But what a CHARM it is! When I started work again on my paranormal thriller “No Matter What”, I began to get more involved with the paranormal world.  Although I had dabbled some with the Tarot cards, I didn’t really get involved with them until I started work on this story. One of my characters was a Tarot reader and I wanted to understand more about it (so my character would sound legitimate) and suddenly I became fascinated with them. They really are quite amazing. I also began to study Numerology (another thing the character in my story liked to do!). Again…the way these things work in our lives is truly amazing!!

When our military careers came to a close (my husband did 28 years and I did 20) and we retired, I figured I’d have more time to write. Not so. We got busy running a small campground which we thought would make a great retirement plan and I found myself too busy to write. But, I did continue with the Tarot cards, palm reading and Numerology studies! When we finally decided to close the campground (it’s a tough world when it comes to running your own business!!!), I found myself having more time to write. I began to edit No Matter What and then I found the Spiritualist church! When family members who have passed on into the great hereafter came through during the “messages from spirit” part of the service, I knew this was the church for me. I signed up for their mediumship class, went on ghost hunting adventures and learned about table tipping! This is yet another form of spirit contact. You simply put your hands flat on the top of a table (must be evenly proportioned…round or square) and invite spirits to come through and and talk to you by “tipping the table”. What fun we’ve had with this!! Table tipping is truly an adventure in the paranormal. We’ve gotten the table to spin, walk or slide across the floor, tip nearly to the floor (without falling!) and rock back and forth. A few times we’ve had the table tip up (usually onto two legs) and then stay there. No matter how hard we tried to get it to fall back onto its legs, we couldn’t do it! Truly…is that fascinating or what?

I’ve had tons of experiences, too many to mention, and they have all led me to the interests I now have. These interests come through in my writing. People write to me and ask me if I am Tess Schafer (the main character of Be Still, My Love) and I guess I have to say yes, to some degree. She has a lot of me in her. But she’s better! A better medium anyway. I love to make up stories. It’s natural to make up stories that involve things that interest me. The paranormal has interested me most of my life and that is why I write about it. I also love to read about it! What about you? Do you like to read about the paranormal? Why? Do you write about it? Share with us your books if you do! Share your stories or your blogs. The people who come to this blog do so because of the paranormal content (right?) so if you’ve something to share, please do!!

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!


I love talking about anything to do with the supernatural/paranormal.  As a writer of stories involving such phenomena, I particularly love talking to other writers of the same ilk.  To bring elements of the paranormal/supernatural into our writing, we must have a concept, some sort of idea, of what those elements are.  Personal experiences (if any), how we think, feel and believe all have an impact on the stories we create.  Given that, I am always curious to know the motivation behind writers of supernatural/paranormal fiction.  Jeff Bennington has several awesome books out that include these elements and I’m excited that he’s agreed to “guest” on my blog and chat about it!

Once Jeff agreed to an interview, I fired off a bunch of questions.  Though I gave him the option to pick and choose, he replied with “I don’t think there’s a single one I didn’t want to answer. I’ve never really considered many of your questions, so this was really a self-examination of sorts. Perhaps knowing that will make this interview a bit more interesting to your readers.”  I think you’ll agree that we did indeed get an interesting interview!  With so much to “chat” about, this post was done in TWO parts.  Part II will be published on Monday (April 30th).  Be sure to come back, for there’s lots more great stuff to share!!

So without further ado (my questions to Jeff are in bold print, any replies I made to his answers are in italics):

It is my understanding that you’ve had some paranormal experiences. Would you like to continue experiencing them?

I have had three distinct experiences over the course of my life, including one that is recurring. I didn’t seek out the spirits that I’ve encountered, although I have to be honest, I always wished I could experience something supernatural for my own knowledge. Maybe that’s what has made me open, and thereby receptive to what’s out there. But would I like to continue experiencing them? Not necessarily. Once you experience something beyond your existence, you are forced to reckon with the fact that there is more to life than what we see. Although I’ve always believed in the possibility that ghosts exist, actually experiencing this for myself was the real deal, a true gift. Yet I realized that if ghosts exist, than other entities exist as well, like angels, demons, and who knows what else. For that very reason, I’m not really that interested in diving into the occult or the dead or anything dark that could enter my home or intrude upon my family. I don’t want to give anything evil a foothold.

Do you think they (ghosts) can be helped? Do you believe they NEED help?

I’m not sure. That isn’t anything I experienced. Is it possible? Sure? Can I help a ghost? I don’t know, maybe. I’m not sure I’d really know if I helped a ghost or something else. What may seem like freeing a ghost, may release it from one location only to send it into another realm, and I’m not referring to the “light”. But then again, I have never tried to help a ghost, so I am only throwing out random thoughts.

I can understand your reservations concerning the spirit world.  My own experience has taught me that there’s a difference between a ghost and other supernatural entities and so I believe you’d know which one you were dealing with. I’ve never given it any consideration that we might have the power to banish ghosts into other realms other than the “light”.  I hope that isn’t the case!  It really makes me wonder, though, if our actions could do so with other supernatural entities … sending them somewhere we really did not want or intend for them to go. It’s an interesting thought. I can almost feel a story forming! (smile)

Have you ever tried to contact a spirit? Do you think it would be neat to do so?

I have not. Would it be neat to talk to a spirit? Maybe. But I would never really know for sure if it was a spirit of a dead soul or something malevolent deceiving me. So again, dabbling may not be in the cards for me. I’ve heard too many stories about evil entities that have come out of Ouija boards.

I have had some experience with the Ouija board actually. It’s not a game, that’s for sure. I think it’s a pretty powerful tool for opening a doorway between our world and the spirit world. Done right, though…handling it properly, it can offer some pretty interesting interactions with spirits who have passed from this life to the next (because it can also create interaction with other entities…demons and what not, I think people should know what they are doing before using the Ouija).

When writing your stories, do you ever get a little spooked?

Ha ha! That’s funny. Good question. But no, I don’t really get spooked when I write. I might get a chill down my spine, but not because I’m scared. The chill is from an outpouring of emotion. When I write, I have a pretty good idea where the story is going so there aren’t really many surprises for me, unless I have an “Ah hah moment”. The reason for this is simple: I get to view the book on both a micro and macro scale. I see the bigger picture, arranging the setting and characters as I deem fit. I also see the details, holding each idea in my hands like tiny puzzle pieces. When it’s all said and done, I’m usually surprised at how much people like what I write, because by the time I’m finished with it, I’m rather tired of it and numb to anything that could otherwise be shocking. The reader, however, is not, but that is by design. Keep in mind, I’ve probably read the book over twenty times by the time it’s finished.

I know what you mean! I think my friends and family believe that my stories magically flow out of me. I might be a couple weeks into writing a new story and they’ll be like, “You aren’t finished YET? What’s taking so long?” When I finally do finish the story, they seem to think I do nothing more than a quick read over to find any obvious errors before sending it off to the editor for a “check” and then bam…time for publishing! In truth, a lot of time-consuming effort is required to get a book ready for the critical eyes of the public! We read it and read it and read it and tweak it and tweak it and so on until we’re about tired of it already!

Do you think you stir up spirit activity when writing your supernatural thrillers?

Wow. Another good question. I never thought of that, but I suppose it’s possible. Now that you mention it, I starting writing Reunion in 2009 and encountered a very frightening spirit in 2010 and another soon after that. So was that coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, if I do stir things up a bit, even if it’s within my own awareness, I’m not afraid because my beliefs regarding eternity promise that “He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world.”

I certainly believe that the more open you are to the spirit realm, the more likely it is that you will encounter a spirit. For example, my wife is very skeptical, and yet when I had my ghostly experience in a cabin we shared with some friends, two of us encountered the ghost on two separate occasions. The next morning we discovered that the cabin registry was filled with accounts of a ghost named “Earl”! Had I but known his name, I could have helped him. My point is, I’m open and I have seen three spirits of some kind; my wife is skeptical and she has not.

Do you fear death?

Heck no!

What do you think happens once you “cross over”?

I believe that there is a heaven and there is a hell. I also believe that both of these realms are vaguely defined in terms of where the line is drawn and exactly where these planes of eternity exist. Therefore, I believe that there is a gray area between the two that can be crossed over and that spiritual entities of all kinds can crossover from one side to the next. In fact, the bible tells us that Satan himself is free enter Heaven to report to God.

With that said, I believe that when we die we get exactly what we always wanted. If you want nothing to do with God, that’s what you get. If you want to live for yourself, that’s what you get, eternity with yourself. If you want to hurt others, that’s what you get forever and ever. If you live a life filled with regrets, that’s what you get when you die, regret. However, if you choose to serve others, if you choose to seek the God of the universe, if you choose to live a life bent on kindness, a life like the original zombie, Jesus, the ultimate ghost, then I believe you will get exactly what you were looking for.

I do not fear death. I actually look forward to it. And I hope that I am so exhausted from trying to live with purpose that that’s what I get, an eternity with purpose. I do not desire to be lost in the gray matter.

I agree with you on the idea that we get what we expect.  But, do we get it for “eternity”?  I just don’t know, but I’m hoping not!  Eternity is an awfully long time and I’d like to believe that we don’t stop learning, whether we are in physical life or in spirit.  It’s all quite a mystery isn’t it?  Our beliefs have a lot of pull in this respect.  Like you, I don’t fear death.  People shouldn’t fear it unless they are living a life they know might create problems for them on the other side.  And if that’s the case, they should change what they are doing!

How much of your beliefs are in your books?

Everything I write stems from what I believe, including plot lines and themes, all bundled up in a whirlwind of creativity that is uniquely mine. I want to write books that rate high on suspense, but do not leave a reader with a sense of shallowness. I want my books to have a depth that readers can relate to without coming across as preachy. But that’s easier to do if you do not put God in a box.

Can you give us some examples of how your beliefs have influenced your writing?

Sure.  As strange as it may seem, my beliefs about eternity have driven me to write supernatural thrillers. The supernatural is frightening and unknown to many, so its very nature stirs fear and creates suspense. But for me, its any easy medium to work with, like a canvas, the paint goes on smooth and easy. Sci-fi or fantasy, however, would feel like working with raw iron, sharp and cumbersome. I could never write in that genre. Besides, like many writers, I write what I see play out in my head, like taking notes from a movie, so I create scenes that I’d love to watch on the big screen.

You like to write horror…why?  Do you like to be scared out of your wits?

Actually, I don’t necessarily like to write horror per se. I think my suspense thrillers are light on horror, and higher on suspense. In fact, I write each chapter with an ending that begs the reader to continue, a tool I incorporated very heavily in Twisted Vengeance.

Certainly the use of the word “horror” is subjective.  Some would put my book in the horror category because it has ghosts in it but I certainly don’t think of it as horror.  Your books contain some horrifying scenes (things we wouldn’t want to happen to us!) but more than that, they are suspenseful (of the edge-of-your-seat variety!) and they do create quite the “thrill” when reading them.  For me anyway, I probably think of your books as”horror” because some scenes in them made me cringe!  In all truth, however, you have blended several genre elements very well (horror, suspense, thriller, mystery) not going overboard with one or the other.  That’s why, though I don’t read “horror” per se, I enjoy your books!

Do you write an outline or does the story just develop?

I write such a messy outline that most people wouldn’t be able to make heads or tails of what’s in my “black book” of ideas.

When a book idea hits me, I jot down the synopsis asap so I don’t forget it. Later when I have time to really think about the general plot, I write short biographies for each character and a brief summary of each chapter. I know I have a full length novel when I can come up with 25 or 30 chapters in the beginning. Those chapters usually sprout roots and grow into a full length novel.

I find it very impressive that you can come up with brief summaries for each chapter before you even write the book!  I’m sure other writers work similarly.  I have no clue what’s going to happen in a chapter or even how many chapters I’m going to have until I sit down to write them.

I love the idea of writing short biographies for each character.  I would probably find my own writing to go smoother if I’d do something like that.  A great tip!  Thanks.

Have you ever been uncomfortable with how a story has developed?

No, but I do have a two book series that I’ve written that I’d be embarrassed to let you read in its current state. But as far as story development goes, I think I have a natural feel for developing story lines that work. The good thing is I spend less time fabricating and more time honing my craft.

A sign of a true writer…where the effort to come up with the story isn’t so much the hard part as honing your craft…making the story better, the sentences stronger, the picture clearer.  It’s a lot of work!!

Have you ever experienced an “epiphany” while writing?  An ‘OMG, where did THAT come from’ moment?

YES! That is where all of my “twists”are born. I have no idea where they come from; they just sneak up on me and freak the sh** out of me. That is the only time I get freaked out. Once I know the twist, I have to make sure I fit in all the details that allow for plausibility.

I can so understand this!  I think when we are in the creative flow, those moments are bound to happen and when they do, we find them as exciting as the reader does!  I had one of those moments at the end of my book and had to go back through the entire thing and make sure it all fit together.  It’s a fascinating process.  I certainly got that “oh wow” moment when I read Twisted Vengeance! It also made me want MORE!

This concludes Part One of this awesome “chat” with Jeff Bennington!  In Part II we get more into a discussion of Jeff’s books and really, if you are a fan of supernatural thrillers, you don’t want to miss the next post!!

Please feel free to comment on the above discussion and ask Jeff anything you like.  I know he would love to hear from you!  Also, if you haven’t already read his books and would like to, here are the links  (the one on the end: The Kindle Book Review is Jeff’s blog, readers and writers alike should take a look!):


I blog a lot about the paranormal because the afterlife fascinates me.  I do not doubt that once our bodies have expired, our souls live on.  I KNOW this to be true.   Although I find that quite comforting, it doesn’t stop me from missing loved ones (to include animals!) who have crossed into the “great beyond” (which is really just a different level of consciousness!).  My first brushes with death were the loss of pets (I still miss them all and some have been gone for many, many years!).  Their deaths were quite devastating to my young life.  And then when I was fourteen, I lost a family member that I loved very much — my wonderful Uncle Paul.  He was the BEST!  Paul was one of those people who was a shining light in the world.  His presence was always uplifting.  I admired him so much and I thought he was one of the best people ever.  Then, at the young age of 29, he died…struck down suddenly by a brain aneurysm.  What a shocking blow to my world.

At the time of his death, I was living in the haunted house I’ve blogged about many times.  So, I knew that our spirit … our soul … lived on but that didn’t stop me from being incredibly sad to lose my dear uncle.  I wanted his physical presence in my life and besides, I wasn’t sure how to communicate with those on the other side at that point in my life.  Truth be told, I was quite afraid of it.  That’s because at least one of the entities sharing our home with us was not a nice one.  No.  But this isn’t about that.

Although I had dabbled with the Ouija board, it wasn’t until many years later that I truly began to explore making contact with “the other side” or as I call it in my book “Be Still, My Love”…the Tri-State, that place between earthly life, heaven and hell.  A place where souls can hang out and communicate with us!  I found this to be a relatively easy thing to do through the means of automatic writing.  For those who don’t know what that is, it is when you use paper and a pen and invite those in spirit to speak to you through written messages.  When it’s actually happening, your hand will just start moving…seemingly without any effort from you!…and message will come through.  It’s as easy to do (for me anyway) as the Ouija board (which has a lot of negative press but that’s because it is too easy a tool to use and people don’t take it seriously enough to operate it properly!).  When I first started doing automatic writing, I managed to contact my grandparents (two of my most favorite people ever!).  It was really nice to connect with them again and have some closure (I was in the military when they died and didn’t even get to attend their funerals).  I know it was them I made contact with and I don’t care what anyone else says about it.  I know my Nana and Grampy and I FELT them, their spirit, their love, when communicating with them.

It wasn’t until a few years ago, however, that I finally got a message from my dear uncle Paul!  It was during my second visit to a local Spiritualist Church (of which I am now a member!) that it happened.  The medium bringing messages through happened to be the Pastor for the church.  He described my uncle perfectly and he even knew how he died and when!  I was in the process of working on my book and my uncle was giving me a positive message to continue with my writing! He was a major influence on my writing pursuits because he believed in me and encouraged me to keep doing it NO MATTER WHAT (the title of the first book I wrote and hope to have out in a few months!).  The following week at church, my Nana came through!  Now for you skeptics, I have to tell you…the medium knew way too much for it to be a lucky coincidence.  The message wasn’t vague and the medium’s description couldn’t have been applied to anyone else…it was very specific to my Nana, as Paul’s description was very specific to him.

I mentioned the above because I wanted to establish to you what I believe and why.  In my book “Be Still, My Love” the main character Tess Schafer is a medium.  Her husband and dog are killed by a drunk driver and Tess is devastated by the loss.  Part of her grief has to do with her beliefs.  You see, Tess believes (as do I) that death is not something that happens to us AGAINST OUR WILL.  Now, a LOT of people are going to argue with that and have.  I’ve even had a pretty critical review posted on Amazon over this particular issue.   I need to make it clear that on a CONSCIOUS level, MOST of us do not willingly go to our deaths.  We are born with a very strong instinct for survival.  Except in certain situations (suicides and terminal illness for instance) death is not a choice we consciously make.  But the thing about this issue is that if God makes the decision on when we die…then how is it that we have Free Will?  Do we have Free Will in everything BUT that?  I think not…it’s just too important an issue for us to have no say in the matter.  Now, when it comes time to die, I do believe that it is on a very deep level…SOUL deep…that the final decision is made.  This might explain the sudden return to life that is made after death has been declared! (Although the soul had obviously vacated the premises, a change in plans had to of occurred.  More than likely they were talked into returning because most reports of people who had a “near death experience” report NOT WANTING to return to life…even if they had a strong desire to live prior to the situation in hand!).  I believe that when people are in a coma they are actually “in review” of their lives and trying to decide what to do (again, on a very deep level…our Ego, the personality that we are in this earthly life, has no say in the matter.  Because, honestly, if our Ego had its way, we’d live forever!).  I could be wrong about this but I could be right.  Who knows?  Someday we all will.

So anyway, Tess struggled with her belief on this issue because if she was right about it, then that meant her husband agreed to depart his earthly life and leave her a widow.  She couldn’t accept that.  It is quite understandable that she feel that way because she loved him, he loved her, they were happy, had a good life…why would he leave all that?  But the thing is…we all have an agenda when we are born.  We come into earthly life hoping to accomplish something…maybe many things…but the point is, we all have a PURPOSE for entering physical life.  Once that purpose is met, we “cross over” (return) to our spiritual life (a state of “living” that we enjoy immensely by the way!).  Truly, if we all remembered from where we came and where we are headed when done with this physical life, many of us would be checking out a lot sooner than we end up doing!  I don’t know about you but I’ve gone through enough crap in my life that I’ve thought “What the hell is the point?  I’m so DONE with this!” and I tell ya, I’d have willingly crossed over if my instinct for survival wasn’t as strong as it is!  I mean really… life is freakin HARD!  It’s challenging and full of obstacles and strife and heartache and so on and so on.  Thank God for that survival instinct or we wouldn’t be having a population growth.  No.  But, when we come to that point where it’s a live or die situation, that’s when our soul (our true self) comes forward to take over.

I wrote a paper about this issue for a college English assignment and my professor for that course was quite pissed.  She scribbled all over that paper and then wrote “SEE ME” at the bottom.  Her father had recently died of a heart attack.  She informed me that there was “NO WAY” he WANTED to die and that my paper was a “load of crap”.  I’d hit a nerve…she was still grieving over her loss and for me to suggest that her dear father wanted to die didn’t sit well with her.  It wouldn’t.  We are programmed to love life and to cling to it no matter what.  As a result of that programming, we hate death, we fear it and we certainly want nothing more than to avoid it!  Besides, who wants to say goodbye to a loved one on such a permanent basis?  (permanent until we meet again when our own death occurs that is!).  I know that the losses I’ve suffered have left huge holes in my life.  You can’t fill those holes.  They stay there until our own life ends and leaves a hole in someone else’s life.  It’s a sucks-ass system but it is what it is.  It sucks even more (in my book anyway) to think that those who have died, might have done so UNwillingly!  To have them ripped from life without their consent seems so WRONG to me and a very UNloving thing for God to do!

When I was eighteen, I went through an experience in which I thought for sure I was about to die.  And I have to tell ya, I didn’t expect it to be a peaceful death either!  I was truly expecting a horrific end.  Oddly, as I stared death in the face, I felt quite calm inside (yeah, my heart was pounding so hard it hurt but my spirit was calm).  I was visiting friends in Virginia at the time and it was quite late in the evening.  I was sitting in their darkened kitchen (a small light over the sink was on) and talking on the phone to a guy I’d met the night before.  I was sitting next to the garage door.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that the door had opened but I paid no attention to it. Then I heard the heavy breathing.  I turned my head and froze, literally, to complete immobility.  I couldn’t utter a sound and I’m not sure if I was even breathing!  Standing there about a foot from me was a person dressed in a long trench coat, black boots, a black ski mask, black gloves and a dark hat.  One gloved hand held a very large shiny butcher knife.  It was held up high and pointed at me as if poised to plunge.  I remember the blade caught the light from over the sink and glistened as it moved in rhythm with its holder’s breathing.  My life was over.  In a flash I understood this and though I can tell you I didn’t WANT to die, there was a part of me that accepted what was about to happen.  When you think you have no choice, I think that’s when our soul comes forward to help us through the situation.  That’s the only explanation I can come up with.  And that whole “your life flashes before your eyes” thing?  Yeah, that happens…in an INSTANT.  My entire life was AT ONCE remembered…ALL of it.  It’s a very hard thing to explain.  After this instant life review came other thoughts.  I worried about my family, how they would take my death and that was my biggest regret.  I worried about how much it was going to hurt and I hoped that it happened quickly.  Chasing that thought was the question on whether I should keep my eyes open (I could blink at this point and that was it) or if I should close them.  I decided that I couldn’t close them and not KNOW when it was going to happen.  Chasing that decision was the wish that I could get my voice back so I could warn my friends in the next room.  I dearly hoped that they would make it out of the house while I was being butchered to death.  In that respect, I did hope my death wasn’t too quick for I truly wanted my friends to live.  I had no doubt, none at all, that I was going to die.  And then, incredibly, the person standing there began to laugh.  It was one of my friends pulling a prank on me.  She pulled the ski mask off and bent over in a fit of mirth (apparently my expression was beyond funny).  “You should see your face!” she gasped as I began to shake uncontrollably in relief.  It was the worst joke ever.  But it taught me something.  When facing death, there is a calm acceptance of it deep within.  Remember…our souls know that “death” is not final and is actually a release back to our true self and the beautiful pain-free, stress-free, hate-free loving existence that awaits us.

I’ve even experienced “death” in dreams!  I do wonder if those dreams were actually a past life memory because they sure did seem real.  What I remember most is how peaceful it was.  I think part of our grief is the thought that someone we love and would do anything for had somehow suffered.  It’s bad enough to lose someone but to think that they may have suffered in the transition is too much to bear.  I don’t know quite what I think about this other than it is my hope that our soul takes the personality out of the situation and leaves only the body shell to get through a terrible end…such as fire (which to me has to be one of the absolute worst ways to die!).  Speaking of which, there was a terrible story this past Christmas Eve about a house fire in which a woman lost her two young daughters and her parents.  I don’t know how someone survives a tragedy like that.  That poor woman not only had to suffer the loss of her children and parents (the most important people to her in all the world) but she had to deal with the fact that they died in a fire!  They tried to escape, of course, and didn’t make it.  You know their last moments of life was lived in horror.  Or was it?  Did their souls come forth and get them through it?  Did the angels take them away as their bodies perished?  I’d like to think so.  What I do know is that they are now living in a beautiful place and the mother/daughter they left behind is living in hell.  What sort of karma is she balancing?  For something that horrible to happen…it had to have been something that was planned in spirit BEFORE their earthly births.  I’m here to tell you, no matter what I believe…I KNOW I could not deal with something like that.  I pray for that woman, I really do.  I pray she somehow finds some peace as she continues out her life.

I don’t know why horrible things happen.  I don’t understand the evils of the world.  But I do know this…our soul will one day be released from the trap of physical life and return to the beautiful existence of spirit.  And I don’t think that our moment of death is going to be as traumatic as we might think (if only we could all just die peaceably of extreme old age in our sleep!).

I have questions about it all.  Of course I do.  One way I try to figure things out is through writing.  As I continue to write stories including Tess, I find myself learning things right along with her.  After all, the inspiration for her story is coming from somewhere…I believe it comes from the Universal Conscience which is, basically, God.

Okay, that’s enough for now!  What do you think?  It’s a touchy issue, I know.  It’s a depressing one.  For those of us left behind anyway!  I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.

Until next time, blessings to all and Peace Out!


Be Still, My Love

When I was seven, my family moved into an old farmhouse.  We didn’t know it at the time, but it was quite haunted.  The tomb situated in a small copse of trees behind the house should have given us something of a warning.  The eleven people buried there had all died on the property, some of them in our house.  Disturbingly enough, there were others who had died either in the house or on the property whose bodies were not buried in the tomb.  The old house had history.  Lots of it.  And we were about to learn how bizarre the world can be, how mysterious and spooky.

For seven years we lived there and experienced some interesting phenomena (see previous posts about some of my experiences!).  My exposure to the paranormal led me to an interest in such matters and an eagerness to learn all I could.  Having a very active imagination and a compelling desire to write, it was only natural that my books would reflect my growing fascination with “the unknown”.  I’ve been scribbling stories since I was old enough to string words together.  My first story was penned on a stool (we had to make do with what we had and an extra desk was not one of them!) behind a big old piano.  My second grade teacher had pulled it away from the wall to give us some private space for our creative moments.  I couldn’t wait to get behind that piano and write.  It was the beginning of my writing career.  It became something of an obsession.  I couldn’t stand to see a blank notebook page.  I HAD to scrawl out a story.  I told myself stories constantly: while doing mundane chores, traveling, waiting for sleep to come…every idle moment was filled with stories.

As I entered my teenage years, I became determined to “grow up and be a writer”.  And I continued to learn about all sorts of things: reincarnation, past lives, spirit contact, life after death (it’s all quite connected).  It was only natural for my imagination to embrace these concepts and come up with stories including them.

Although I dreamed of being a writer, I was realistic enough to understand that an endeavor like that was not going to be easy.  And I needed to experience life.  So, a year after graduating high school, I joined the Air Force.  Suddenly I am learning all about explosives and bomb components and the like.  A total departure from my career choice for sure.  Who would have thought I’d become a Munitions Technician?  I have to say, my new career led to some very interesting experiences.  Not all of them good.  Most of them, in fact, not good.  But that’s another story.  I continued to write stories and dream of being an author but my focus was now on my Air Force commitments and my growing family.

After serving twenty long years in the military, I finally retired and was looking forward to life in the civilian world.  My husband (whose stellar career in the military lasted 28 years) and I bought ourselves a small family campground and we settled down to the demands of owning a business.  We did that for five interesting years and then called it quits.  Now, I thought, I can do what I’ve always wanted to do.  I had written some books by this point and they sat idle on my computer.  Now, finally, it was time to fire up the computer and the stories held within it!  It was around this time that I was once again exploring my spiritual interests and had recently joined a Spiritualist church.  The mediums there had me interested in their ability.  How awesome to talk to loved ones lost to us in death!  Oh, I’d done as much with the Ouija board, automatic writing and channeling but I hadn’t had much interaction with mediums.  Then, of course, the shows Medium and Ghost Whisperer were very popular and I was also following another medium’s reality show starring the talented Lisa Williams.  My interest in mediumship (I even took a class in it!) made my creative brain kick into gear and “Be Still, My Love” began to formulate.   A sucker for love stories, I wondered how a medium very much in love with her husband would feel if she lost him to a senseless death.  And because people grieve over the loss of their pets, I decided this poor medium would lose a beloved dog as well.  How would she respond?  Would her faith be affected?  Would she love again?  Would her ability be affected?  What would happen if she stayed somewhere haunted by the tragic demise of two young lovers?  Would she be able to help them?  What if more were going on than a haunting?  Would she figure it out?  All these questions created the story that came to be and led to my very first publication!!

The circumstances that led to my first published book seem unrelated and yet, each one built on the other and led to that very thing! I moved into a house haunted by several ghosts, I started to write stories, I experienced things in life that led to my drive for understanding, I attended a Spiritualist church and then I wrote a book!  A long held dream, one that began around the age of eight, took forty years to come true but come true it did!!

That book is now FREE on Amazon for the dates of 25 and 26 March!  After that, it’s still going to be affordable because I really want to share this story with you!  I’d love to know what you all think of it!  And I’d love to hear how your dreams came to be!!

And to show my appreciation for you taking the time to stop by my blog…I’m offering a FREE Numerology Analysis OR a palm reading (need the capability of taking a digital photo of your hand) to TWO lucky commenters who take the time to share their thoughts with me!!

Thank you so much for your support and for your valuable time!  Until next time, many blessings to you and Peace Out!


Scrooge's third visitor, from Charles Dickens:...

Image via Wikipedia

I write what interests me.  Ghost interest me.  Why I have a fascination for dead people, I don’t know…but I do.  My first encounters with the paranormal scared the crap out of me.  I lived in fear.  Nightmares plagued my dreams.  The best way to conquer fear is knowledge.  It’s often the unknown that scares us.  But I have to say, knowing something is “there” and not being able to see it…that’s pretty freaky too!  I needed to understand hauntings and so I set out to learn what I could about this mysterious phenomena.  There are as many people who don’t believe in ghosts as there are people who do.  I say this…once you’ve encountered one, you believe.  No, you don’t just BELIEVE… you KNOW.

For seven years I lived in a haunted house.  I was pretty scared of the spirits who shared my home although they never hurt us or did anything harmful.  They took things, they played with the lights and other electrical equipment, they opened doors, they moved things, shook our bed, teased our dog, but they didn’t hurt us.  Given that, I’m not sure why I was so terrified of them.  Times have changed.  Now I go looking for them.  Yeah, I’ve done a complete “about face” on the whole thing.

I joined a Spiritualist church a few years ago.  For those that don’t know how Spiritualist services work, the first part is always a healing session, the second part of the service is the inspirational message of the day and the third part is messages from “the other side” as channeled by the visiting medium.  On my first visit to this church, my uncle came through via the medium conducting the messages that week (this very gifted medium also happened to be the church’s pastor and he’s since channeled several other family members from beyond!).  My uncle was described to me so specifically that the medium was either the best psychic ever or he was communicating with my uncle.  It was my uncle.  I KNOW it. The following week, my grandmother came through.  Same scenario.  The visiting medium was too specific about things concerning my grandmother to be “lucky”.  Nana was there.  I KNOW it.

I started experimenting with spirit communication many years ago.  First with a Ouija board, then automatic writing and finally on to channeling.  At first I did wonder if these communications were all coming from my imagination but then things came through that I couldn’t have possibly known.  That got my attention.  Suddenly I’m thinking this was the real deal and not just an interesting exercise.  It’s amazing what can come through from “beyond” when you put your ego aside and let go of your inhibitions.  Yeah, I know, its all hard to believe but that doesn’t mean it’s unbelievable.

I am also very interested in reincarnation and hope to have another book out based on this concept in the late summer.  I became even more interested in this subject when my 2-year old son started talking about when he was a man and asking where his wife was because he missed her!  I posted about this previously.  See: Reincarnation or Freaky Coincidence

I’ve been writing stories since I was old enough to put words together so it is only natural that I write stories that interest me.  Otherwise, I’m not going to write them.  Ghost stories interest me.  Not gory horror but honest to goodness ghosts needing help in some way or another.  Most ghost do, you know…need help.  It makes for great story telling!

I wrote Be Still, My Love because I started doing the “what if” game.  What if a medium suffered a horrible tragedy?  Would she be like “Oh darn, my loved one is in heaven now, guess I’ll have to communicate spiritually” or would she grieve?  Would she get mad and if she did would that anger interfere with her ability to talk to the dead?  How would she deal with it all?  Would she ever love again? Voila, a story is born.  Since I live in Maine, I decided to place the story where I knew best.  Besides, the rocky coast of Maine offers great backdrop to a spooky story!  I read an article a few years ago about a medium who liked to travel to inns and do readings and I thought, what if I had a medium go on vacation to a haunted resort?  The story just grew from there.  I didn’t plan it out, I just started writing and a story evolved.  The title came from a moment in the book where the medium tells her dead husband to “be still” and fret over her no more.  He, in turn, tells her the same thing. I truly wanted the hurt and anger my characters suffered to “be still” and bother them no longer.  In the end, I think I achieved that.  For the most part.

As I was nearing the end of Be Still, I found that my character had more to give.  I didn’t want her story to end.  I was curious to see what she’d do next and so a sequel began to form.  I grew up in Bucksport, Maine and we have a local legend there that our town’s founder Jonathan Buck was cursed by a witch and the proof of it showed up on his gravestone, see A Supernatural Mystery if you are curious about this interesting legend!  I thought to myself “I should have my character go to Bucksport and figure out that curse!”  And she did!  You can find that story in “Hidden Voices” which will be available next month.  I can’t wait to find out what she comes up with next but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with that ghost she met at the tomb!  Bucksport, it seems, is teeming with ghosts.  It’s a great place for a medium!

They say that life imitates art imitating life.  What a circle huh?  If you are going to be an author, you should write books that you love to read.  That’s what I’m doing.  I’m writing books I love to read.  After all, I’m the first reader of my own story.  If I don’t like it, it’s not going to get done and nor should it!  Luckily, I love Be Still, My Love and I love the sequel just as much, if not more.  Probably because I’m becoming pretty fond of my character and her gift.  I hope she stays with me for awhile and tells me more great stories!

So that’s my story.  And I’m sticking to it!  Blessings and Peace Out!


So, is there really life after physical death?  You betcha.  How do I know?  I just do.  Not a good enough answer?  Fine.  I’ll elaborate.

Aside from living in a haunted house full of “dead” people, I’ve made contact with people who have made the transition from physical life to the spiritual hereafter.   Now, those that believe this is possible will accept that I may actually have done this.  Those who do not believe, will not believe, and that’s fine.  We are all entitled to our beliefs.  At least here in America we are!!  That doesn’t mean we don’t get prosecuted for what we believe but that’s something I’m not going to get into here.  I get on that soapbox and I’ll rant for hours!

The unseen forces in that haunted old farmhouse were scary.  But I think it was more because we didn’t know what we were dealing with and also, my dog didn’t like them.  I figured if they were friendly, he wouldn’t react in the way dogs do when they don’t like someone or something.  My dog Tippy, however, often growled at them and that is a pretty good indication that they were not friendly.  We didn’t get hurt by them or anything but they sure did take a lot of things that were never to be found again.  Bummer that.

My contact with loved ones in spirit through Automatic Writing went a long way in cementing my beliefs in life after death.  No one is going to convince me that I wasn’t REALLY talking to my grandparents.  Some of the stuff they shared were things I didn’t know anything about (see previous blog posts about this!).

When I then tried my hand at channeling (direct communication with someone in the spiritual realm without the use of anything but my self), that went quite well also.  The information that came through had to come from somewhere as I sure as heck didn’t know that stuff!  When connecting with spiritual guides and loved ones who have passed on, the information coming through should be helpful.  If it’s scary or useless, then you are not connecting with a loved one or a spirit guide.  You are possibly connecting with a “dark” spirit.  An entity that operates as far from God’s influence as possible.  Something that’s in league with “the devil”.  My belief is that the devil isn’t a specific person or entity … it is a term that embodies all things evil (no love involved).

A few years ago I was introduced to “table tipping”.  Like the Ouija, table tipping has negative press associated with it.  Mostly from people who don’t understand any of this, don’t believe any of this and who pass negative judgement on anything to do with the supernatural.  Weird that, since God is a supernatural energy and the majority of the ones criticizing such practices believe in God!! But anyway…

The first time I was introduced to table tipping was at a “spiritual development class” I attended.  I had never seen this work before.  Indeed, I never even heard of it.  There were several small tables used and we put about four to five people per table.  The gist of it is that you lightly lay your hands flat on the table top and invite a spirit to communicate with you.  When one takes you up on the offer, the table begins to vibrate, shimmy, rattle back and forth and finally, it will tip up on one or two legs.  Yes, yes, people are going to say that the people operating the table are causing it to do those things.  Can’t do anything about the skeptics.  I was in one group where the table continuously tipped toward me and of course I was being accused of making that happen.  So I took my index finger and lightly placed the tip of it in the CENTER of the table (there were three others at the table).  We asked the spirit a question and the table easily, quickly tipped to me.  Now, how did I make that happen with the tip of one finger lightly resting on the center of the table?  If my mind made that table tip towards me, then wow, even that is amazing!!

For the most part, though, I considered table tipping just a fun sort of activity.  I didn’t take it too seriously.  Until one day we got a group of people together and got ourselves a serious message.  One of the woman who joined the group at the table I was operating (there were four of us all together) was a stranger to me.  I shall call her “Gladys” though that was not her name.  I did not know Gladys or anything about her.  She came with one of my aunts who was also operating the table with us.  The fourth person was yet another aunt who also did not know Gladys.  Once we got the table tipping and “talking” (it spells out messages through a series of tips … “a” is one tip, “b” is two tips, etc… yes, it’s time consuming), Gladys wanted to know if she could ask for someone.  We told her to go ahead and call him forth.  When the table tipped  to indicate he was with us, she started to cry.  At first I thought it was because she was moved to think someone she cared about was with her once again.  But that wasn’t it at all.  The man she asked for and who answered her call had been missing for two weeks.  Of course Gladys was hoping that he was still alive though it really wasn’t expected that he was.  He suffered from Alzheimer’s and had wandered from his home two weeks prior.  Gladys believed from the beginning of his disappearance that he had left his home with the intention of coming to visit her.  There was a path through the woods between their homes that he used to use.  She said that volunteers had searched the woods but did not find him.  The man whom I shall call “Walter” (not his real name) then told us that he was indeed in the woods.  He told us he got confused, wandered off the path and then fell over a fallen tree.  He told us where we could find his body.  The mood at the table was pretty somber.  This wasn’t just a fun game anymore.  None of us were sure how to handle the situation.  Part of us wanted to load into the car and go find Walter.  A bigger part of us did not.  The bigger part won out.

Gladys, however, decided a few days later to try and find Walter based on the information he had given us through the table.  But she became lost herself (Gladys is in the elderly stages of life, as was Walter). Thankfully, Gladys’s son found her and rescued her.  No other attempts were made to find Walter’s body (search parties had been called off by this time).  Then a year later, during hunting season, two unfortunate hunters found more than they bargained for.  They found Walter, right where he said he’d be!  This more than anything has convinced me that table tipping is a valid way to communicate with the spirit world.

Shortly after being introduced to table tipping (and before the Walter incident), I convinced a couple family members to sit down with me and give it a try.  We did a prayer for God’s protection and cast his protective light about us (our imagination is a key tool to all there is!  a strong, focused mental picture is as real as solidified matter!)  The dark forces that lurk in the netherworld cannot penetrate God’s light (all light is God!).  By envisioning ourselves surrounded with light, we are ensuring that only good, loving spirits get through to speak with us.  I always begin each session that involves spirit in any way with a prayer, and I always take the time to imagine myself surrounded in God’s protective light.  I believe this works, nay, I KNOW it does for I have not had any problems with negative energies.

So, there we are sitting quietly waiting for the table to move.  It shimmies ever so slightly.  Of course we each ask the other “Did you feel that?”  Then suddenly into the quiet was a series of knocks pounding loudly on our window in the living room (my home has an open floor plan and we were in the dining room portion of the house). Of course we jump up and check the window and look out on the porch to see if anyone is out there.  Our first thought was that someone saw what we were doing through the window and decided to have fun with us (an illogical thought as we have no close neighbors and live relatively secluded).  So of course there was no one about and no logical explanation for the knocking.  Such a thing did not happen again or since.  Not during table tipping activities anyway.

I have experienced several incidents in my life where I heard someone knock at my door and when I went to answer it, no one was there.  As my dogs also heard the knocks and responded with excited barking, I know I didn’t imagine it.  One time the knock was on the door right beside me.  I was doing dishes, lost in thought, when someone (or “something”) knocked on my door.  The dogs immediately started barking and I turned my head to see who it was (the door is all glass) and no one was there!  I’ve even heard my name called out several times.  Have even answered before I realized that I was alone!  My initial response to these moments is to question whether I really heard anything or not. But gosh, they sure sounded real enough.

A few years ago I decided to check out the Spiritualist Church.  Luckily for me, we had one nearby.  The first visit there, I had my grandmother come through the visiting medium (for those who are not familiar with the Spiritualist Church … services are conducted in three parts: healing/mediation, an inspirational talk and then finally, messages from spirit).  How do I know it was Nana who came through for SURE?  I’ll explain.  Since I fully understand that some mediums bring through vague references and information that is pretty universal…can be attributed to anyone…I want it clear that what came through for me on this day, my first visit to the church, was very specific to my grandmother.  My Nana was short…only 4’11” and she probably weighed all of 90 lbs.  Nana was a chain smoker (Pall Malls, unfiltered!) and she enjoyed beer (yeah, she was a character!!).  She used to pour herself about a half a cup of beer each day and took her time drinking it.  Nana’s day consisted of cooking for Grampy (he got two full meals a day) and sitting at the kitchen table next to the window.  She doodled constantly and kept watch for whatever interested her outside that window.  Driving up the driveway to her house, you could always count on seeing her there and it was always a welcome, comforting sight!  I spent many, many hours of my childhood in her front yard knowing she was watching my play with interest and amusement. Truly, I loved having an audience.  Especially an appreciative, nonjudgmental one!

That short background bio is important.  Here’s why.  The medium told me that I had a grandmother figure coming through to speak to me.  She was quite short and slight of stature.  He saw her sitting at a table next to a window! He said she was holding up a cup and saying “It’s tea” and winking (Nana used to joke with me that she was drinking her “tea”).  He said she passed over to the other side about 25 years ago or so (yes).  He said she liked to draw (hey, doodling is a form of drawing!).  He saw her smoking a cigarette and looking out the window!  Her message to me was to continue with my writing and not stop!! I was working on a novel at the time and wondering if I really should pursue my old dreams of being an author.  Nana had always been supportive of my writing ambitions (I’ve been writing stories since the age of eight and was determined all through high school that I was going to be a published author someday!).  It all just hit me in that moment that my grandmother was really there!  It’s quite an emotional thing to happen.  I had spoken to her over the years through channeling and automatic writing but to have her come through someone else was quite wonderful!!  More so perhaps because I knew it wasn’t me influencing anything in any way.

This experience convinced me that this was the church I needed to continue attending.  The people there were friendly, the atmosphere lovely and better yet, my Nana attended as well!!  So the following week I go again.  I was hoping that Grampy would come through this time.  He did not.  My uncle Paul did instead!!

My uncle Paul died at the young age of 29.  A brain aneurysm struck him down in the prime of life.  I was 14 at the time and his death was a stunning blow to me.  I loved him very much.  He was one of the nicest persons you could ever meet.  He was always jolly and very kind.  He treated everyone so very well.  What I loved most about him was how attentive he was and how considerate.  And what’s more, Paul believed in me.  I remember one day that I was upset because I gave one of my stories to my mother to read which she did … out loud to one of her friends.  The two of them chuckled over it and I took it that they were making fun of my writing! Now, looking back, I don’t believe they were being cruel or disrespectful.  I was thirteen years old, the writing had to have been pretty amusing to an adult and they truly did enjoy it.  They even told me I should write more.  But all I heard was their laughter.  Not long after that, my uncle stopped by for a visit.  He wanted to know why I had such a down face and I told him that I had just made the decision not to write anymore (at 13 it is easy to be discouraged and everything is always so dramatic!).  I had shared my secret dream of being a writer with my uncle Paul a long time before and he was very supportive of that dream.

My uncle’s easy smile disappeared and he got a very serious look on his face.  He leaned across the table toward me, looked me in the eyes and said, “Debbie, don’t let anyone discourage you from your dreams.  It doesn’t matter what anyone does or says.  You believe in yourself and go after whatever you want.  That’s all that really matters.”  He then squeezed my hand and said the all important words, “I believe in you.”  That was enough for me.  Thank you, Paul!!

So here I am at church for the second time and when we reach the part of the service where the medium starts sharing messages, I get excited and nervous.  Will Grampy come through or not?  I had sent a mental plea out to him, inviting him to do so.  The medium looked at me and said, paraphrased somewhat but close to what was said, “There’s a gentleman here.  He’s very jolly.  Strong personality, very friendly. (I adored my grandfather but I wouldn’t have described him as “jolly”).  He’s got a very uplifting spirit.  He wasn’t very old when he died, later twenties?”  The medium then touched his head.  “I’m getting that he died suddenly.  An aneurysm…in the brain?”  (It felt as if the blood drained from my face.  I knew instantly that it was Paul and I began to cry.  I was just so GLAD to have him back in my life!!).  “He’s quite tall, prominent nose.” (the medium is gesturing) “His hair is parted on the side.” (All apt descriptions) The medium rubs his face.  “Sometimes he has a beard but not all the time.” (Paul usually grew a beard in the winter time and shaved it off during the summer months!). The medium then held up his hand. “He’s showing me a pipe!  He’s holding it in his left hand.  His tobacco is pleasant.”  (My uncle Paul was left handed, he smoked a pipe that gave off the most pleasant smell of cherries!!)  Paul’s message?  He’s here, he’s happy and he’s still supportive of me continuing my dream! Oh. My. God.  That’s all I can say.  I was profoundly affected by the entire thing.  I KNOW my uncle Paul was in that room with me.  He was just as exuberant and full of life as always.  Just as supportive of me as he had always been!  I left church that day with a renewed sense of purpose. Yes, I was going to pursue my writing career and I was going to be serious about it.  Nana and Paul both came through to encourage that decision and I trusted them whole-heartedly.  Like the good granddaughter and niece that I am, I am taking them up on that advice!

Just this past weekend, I went to church after a rather long absence.  Just before heading out the door, I went to grab my glasses off the bathroom counter where I placed them while blow-drying my hair.  My glasses were gone.  Looked all over for them.  Nothing.  My son helped me with the search and guess where we found them?  Tucked up under the counter.  Baffled as to how they got there, I hurried off to church, worried that I’d be late.  When it came time for messages from spirit, guess who comes to greet me?  My grandparents.  The medium said, “There is a couple here.  One is quite tall (Grampy was over six feet) and the other one is quite short (Nana was 4’11”), he is holding glasses in his hand.  There is something significant about this.”  (aha! so my grandfather was the one who hid my glasses.  Just so he could help validate his presence in church later).  Clever man.  The medium told me that they wanted me to know they were a united front in spirit, their arms are entwined (a nice picture for my mind to enjoy).  They wanted me know know that they are here for me always.  It was nice getting that message as I’ve been wondering what they thought about what I’ve been up to lately, this blog for one as I’ve been talking about them quite a bit.  It’s a wonderful thing to stay in touch with them, though I do miss their physical presence.  Still, it’s comforting to know their spirits are close by and there support is as strong as ever.

So, yes.  There is life after physical death.  And we can thank God for that!  Hallelujah and Amen.


Thanks to living in a haunted house, I was introduced to aspects of our world which we categorize as the paranormal and the supernatural.  It is a vast world with countless mysteries waiting to be discovered.  I began exploring the “other side” through the Ouija board and this led to other avenues of spirit communication.  I’m no expert, but I am one of God’s own, born with all the capabilities needed to “seek the truth” and discover what our life is all about … really.  Although I don’t use the Ouija much, I have had quite a bit of success with it.  By that I mean that I’ve made contact with loved ones that gave information about things I had no way of knowing beforehand.  Another great test for the Ouija is when information comes through that involves someone NOT operating the board.  Otherwise, it is sometimes argued that the operators are unconsciously influencing the spelled messages.  This is an old argument and one that will continue until there are no doubters and disbelievers left.  And really, I don’t see that happening in the foreseeable future!  Despite my belief in the validity of the Ouija, there was just so much negativity attached to it that I decided to try other things.

I have to say, though, in defense of the Ouija, that all things are only as good or as bad as the operator.  Bad things can happen with the Ouija when people EXPECT bad things to happen.  When handled with fear and trepidation, those negative feelings act as a beacon to the darker forces.  For the most part, an item’s usefulness and/or danger level is equivalent to the care and handling of the operator.  After all, a gun is just a worthless, inanimate object until someone picks it up and decides what to do with it.  And just like with a gun, if the operator is ignorant of the dangers, then bad things are likely to happen.  In any case, I started learning about other forms of spirit contact and was quite eager to check them out.

It was a surprise to learn that the pendulum can be used in similar fashion to the Ouija.  My first exposure to pendulum use went as far back in my childhood as I can remember.  My family used this method to determine the sex of an unborn baby.  They used a sewing needle dangling from a short length of thread.  The needle was held over the palm of a pregnant lady (usually one of my many aunts!) where it would be still for only a few moments before it began to move.  If the needle swung back and forth, it was a boy.  If it swung in circles, it was a girl.  If I recall correctly, most of the time, the needle predicted right!  We didn’t realize it at the time, but we were using “pendulum power“. We had no idea we could connect with the spirit world using this method.  If my aunts had known that, they would have done so, it’s just the sort of family I come from!

When using a pendulum to speak with spirits, I take the back and forth motion for “no” responses and the circle motion for “yes” responses. Some will tell you that the pendulum will let you know what it will do for yes and no responses and that is fine too.  There are a lot of web sites in cyber land that will give you their take on the whole thing (I attached one link in the above paragraph but there are many sites to choose from if you are interested).  In any case, anyone can use a pendulum, no training required.  Just like the Ouija.  But again, it’s only as good as your intentions are when using it.

Divining rods can be used in a similar fashion as well.  My grandfather used them to find water and he was darned good at it, but the rods can also be used to detect spirit activity and location … the so called “hot spots” and “cold spots”.  You can communicate with the spirits through the rods as well.  When I used them, I took it as a “yes” answer when the rods swiveled in opposite directions and when they crossed each other, I took that as a no answer.  Again, you can experiment with them to see what they’ll do for “yes” and “no” responses for you.  There is a lot of information about divining rods on the internet if this subject interests you.  As for me, I’ve used them to find things and have played around with them in the same lighthearted attitude that one does with an “8 Ball”.  But there are many who take the business of pendulums quite seriously.  Even if you don’t use the rods to communicate with spirits or even your own “higher self“, they are a great tool for finding things and I don’t mean just water!!

I think spirit communication is possible and divination tools work because we are all operating within the same energy field or power grid or whatever you want to call it. Everything in existence is energy in motion (and I mean everything from the dirt you walk on to the sky above you!) and it is because of the energy field we share that we are all connected.  This is why one thing happening “here” will affect something happening thousands of miles away. Quantum Physics is teaching us this fascinating fact.  As for divination, I think this is possible because time (the past, present and future) all coexist at once.  When one is seeing a past event or a future one, they have somehow crossed into that particular plane of existence.  It is an interesting theory and perhaps one I’ll pursue in another blog post.

It seems that when we go through difficult times, we turn to God and/or our spiritual roots.  It was while going through a difficult divorce and dealing with the devastation of it that I turned to God for comfort.  Once again I was active in exploring my spiritual beliefs.  It was during this time that I learned about Automatic Writing (also called Inspirational Writing!).  With blank paper at the ready and holding a pencil poised above it, I waited for the urge to write.  Now, there’s more of a process to this: calming the mind, creating a quiet scene and allowing things to happen.  I lit candles and incense (to set the proper mood) and then focused on the candle’s flickering flame (our conscious minds must have something in which to occupy itself).  When the writing begins, I just go with it and try to keep from analyzing what I’m writing (hard to do!).  I always began with prayer and imagined that I was cocooned in a circle of bright white light so that whatever entity wanted to come through and speak to me would be a “light” entity … one filled with love and operating within the positive portion of the energy field.  I wasn’t sure what I would get the first time I tried this, but it sure was a welcome surprise to have my grandmother whom I called “Nana” come through.  I could feel her energy as surely as I can feel that of a solid, living breathing person standing beside me.

It was quite wonderful to be talking with my Nana again.  I asked a thousand questions and she answered most of them (in written form on paper) and then she’d ask questions and I would answer.  The only problem with this process is that my hand got tired after awhile from all the writing.  Luckily my questions to her were all done mentally.  She didn’t need the pen and paper.  I did.

I remember one night my Nana had a message for my mother.  She told me to let mom know that she was right to say what she did.  She said she was just so mad at the time and things were said that shouldn’t have been said.  She spoke a lot of private stuff I won’t reveal here.  I can tell you this, none of it made any sense to me at the time. I was really quite baffled by what she wanted me to tell my mom but she was so insistent that I do it, I couldn’t refuse.  When I read the messages to my mom, she explained that she and my Nana (which was my mom’s mother) had had a fight shortly before Nana died and she was apologizing for things that had been said.  I didn’t know about their disagreement so for me this sort of thing helped me to believe that I truly was communicating with my Nana.  It wasn’t all coming from my own active imagination.  What was so nice about it is that my mom got closure on that issue.  As much as I enjoyed talking with Nana, I did ask one night if anyone else wanted to come through and communicate with me, and that is when I connected with my spirit guide.

Although I enjoyed the communications with my spirit guide and the advice coming through was very useful and positive, I again began to question the validity of what was happening.  Really, how many times must it be proven?  Are we ever satisfied?  There was just so much information coming through and I couldn’t validate any of it.  So, here I was again, wondering if my own brain were making it all up.   Self-doubt is something most of us wrestle with, especially when it comes to stuff like this.  We want to be SURE. And eventually I was to get the validation that I needed.  Again.

My mother asked me if I had spoken with my grandfather (Grampy) and I told her that only Nana had come through up to this point.  She asked me to try to get hold of Grampy and see if he had anything to say.  I didn’t know at the time that my mom was looking for a message from him.  So, I sat down one night with the intention of contacting my grandfather (who was, by the way, one of my most favorite people in all the world.  He and Nana both).  Grampy came through and I scribbled away, hardly able to keep up with all he had to say. When I was finished and read it all over, none of it made any sense to me and I decided that I would not share it with my mother.  I thought it might upset her for Grampy talked about not being “ready to pass on” and he also wrote “tell your mother that she was right.  She did the right thing” (I couldn’t help but wonder…now what?  Another fight?”).  And then he went on to say she made the right decision and that he is happy. I didn’t want to give this message to my mother because I was afraid she would wonder what Grampy was talking about just like I did.  Although it all worked out quite fine with Nana’s puzzling message, I couldn’t imagine what could have possibly occurred before Grampy died that involved my mother because his death had been so sudden.

To add a little background, Grampy died after suffering a stroke.  He went into a coma and never woke up.  After several days of no brain activity, the decision was made to “pull the plug” on my grandfather’s life support.  I was in the Air Force at the time and although I had come home on emergency leave to see my grandfather in the hospital, I could only stay a few days and he never woke up during that time.  I did talk to him, though, and I truly believe he could hear me because sometimes his heart rate increased and his blood pressure shot up slightly.  Grampy slipped away from physical life a few days after I returned to my duty station.  My Nana died three months later in her sleep.  Their deaths were quite devastating to me as I was very close to them and the loss was great indeed.

After my puzzling contact with Grampy, I wondered if I should continue with the Automatic Writing for I wasn’t sure what to believe…was I really making contact with my grandparents or not?  When my mother asked me if I got hold of Grampy, I told her that I did but didn’t want to give her the message.  She insisted that I do so and after making it clear that it was probably just senseless ramblings from my brain, I read her the message.  Mom got very quiet and emotional during the reading of it, and I felt I’d made the wrong decision to read it to her.  Then my mom explained that she really needed to hear that message and that she felt so much better!!  Of course I needed her to explain the message and now it was her turn to hesitate.  It seems that my mom was the one who had to sign the order to remove Grampy from life support.  None of her siblings wanted to be the one to authorize it.  She felt guilty about it and always wondered if they had made the right choice.  I knew that the decision had been made to remove Grampy from life support and I was totally against it.  This is probably why my mother never told me that she was the one who gave written permission to do so.  Although I was in selfish mode back then and wanted him to live forever, I know that if Grampy could have appeared before them, he would have told them to do it as well.  He had always made it clear to us that he did not want to live to the point that he could not take care of himself or get around on his own.  So here we were, many years later and Grampy is finally able to tell his side of that difficult time.  He said he was scared at first and was resisting death (thus the coma … his body laying in wait for his decision).  Part of him didn’t want to leave us but another part of him was ready to move on.  He heard our pleas to  fight and live but he also heard the call of his soul.  If Grampy had truly wanted to live, he would have done so even after the life support machines were removed.  I truly believe this.  Removing those life lines gave him the courage to do what he wanted to do and that was to transition into spirit.  Grampy said that his transformation was quite joyous and he wondered what had taken him so long to go.  He assured us that it was a very peaceful transition and that he was greeted by many loved ones, all of which he was very glad to see again!  He told us that he still keeps tabs on us all, was aware of what was happening in our lives and that he never left us.  When we think about him or need him, he is here.

Speaking of that.  About a year ago on my birthday, I was thinking about my Nana and Grampy and missing them.  I knew that my thoughts could bring them to me so I sent out a mental note for them to give me a sign that they were near. Within SECONDS of asking for this, I got my sign.  I was in the drive-thru window at McDonald’s waiting for my ice coffee order when I sent out the mental plea for that sign.  Just as I began to pull away from the window another car came zipping around me.  At first I was annoyed that it had hurried to get around me only to stop quick and wait for traffic, but then I saw the license plate.  It was my grandfather’s name “Lafayette”.  Nothing else, no other numbers, just Lafayette.  Not a typical name and yet, there it was, right in front of me, seconds after asking my Grampy for a sign that he was near!!!  I couldn’t wait to see how Nana was going to give me her sign.

I drive down the road just a short ways and there in big letters all lit up on a restaurant sign are the words “AD A (blah, blah, blah … something to make my day but I forget the exact words)”.  My Nana’s name was Ada and for some reason, the sign’s first three letters were capitalized!!  I didn’t even read the rest of the sign because I was so focused on Nana’s name and I knew that she had found a way to let me know she was near!!  I truly think the first word on that sign was supposed to be “add” but they had dropped a “d” because of limited space.  That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?  I think so.  And I take great comfort in it because I miss them very much even though they’ve been gone for over thirty years!!  I do, however, dream about them on occasion.  They beckon me to come visit them and they are always in the home they were living in when they died (which is now gone).  I tell them, “But you know you are dead, right?”  And they tell me that it doesn’t matter.  I hate waking up from those dreams because I just love visiting them.  Even though it is happening in a dream, it feels quite real and I believe that’s because it is!!  I’ve also had a few dream visits with a friend of mine that died several years ago of breast cancer.  She always looks so happy and vibrant and she tells me that she’s not dead.  I tell you, I love those kinds of dreams.

Automatic writing was really a successful venture for me.  My spirit guide gave me a lot of wonderful advice.  The messages were positive and helpful, as messages from your spirit guides should be!

One night while “conversing” with my spirit guide, she told me to put the pencil down and talk to her.  I asked her how were we to communicate if I wasn’t writing it all down.  She said she would speak through me.  I was a little worried about that as I didn’t want to be “possessed” or anything like that.  Besides, I felt a little silly about it.  And then I felt bad about feeling silly about something so serious and wonderful!  It took awhile but eventually I got over my trepidation, made myself comfortable on the couch, closed my eyes, relaxed and let her come in.

The first thing I felt was a light tickling on my face … like cobwebs brushing over me.  The feeling moved down around my throat which got rather tight (but I think it’s because I was unconsciously fighting the whole thing).  Then I felt pressure on my chest.  Lots of it.  Like a huge weight slowly bearing down on me. At first I resisted the pressure and that made it worse, but when I told myself to trust in my guide and let it happen, the pressure let up and then I felt nothing but blessed weightlessness. It was as if I no longer existed as solid matter!  While marveling over this strange sensation, I felt the urge to speak although I had no idea what I was going to say.  And then she started talking.  Okay, I was talking but the words were hers.  It was like having two people in my head at the same time! While she was talking, I was thinking about what she was saying and making mental comments of my own like:  “really?”  “gosh, I hope that’s true!”  “oh, I don’t know if I believe that, I’ll have to think about that one”  and the like.  It’s an odd thing to happen, having two conversations go on in your brain at the same time!

The energy in the room was revved up during these communications.  Although I always did this at night with the lights off and a candle lit, the room felt as if it had a warm, humming (a silent hum but felt none the less) glow (unseen but also felt) about it.  It’s hard to describe it.  All I know is the energy level in the room was hyped up and it was very comfortable and peaceful.  When my guide ended our conversation, the energy drop was very noticeable and I became aware of how chilly the room actually was (I was living in Italy during this time and the homes I lived in were on the cool side.  The Italians, in my opinion, are great energy conservationists and don’t have honking heaters raising temperature levels into the sweltering stage!). I always had to have a blanket nearby for afterwards.

My communications stopped when my life started falling apart again (another marriage down the tubes) and I once again began to question everything.  It would be a few years before I continued with my spiritual explorations and spirit communications.  But I’ll leave all that for next time, this post is long enough.

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